diff --git a/src/page/index.md b/src/page/index.md
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--- a/src/page/index.md
+++ b/src/page/index.md
@@ -8,3 +8,4 @@ A very serious look at [horses in philosophy](./horse).
A [random short story prompt](./prompt/).
+Archive of [Lexicon games](./lexicon/).
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/article/Battle_of_Quillian_Square.html b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/article/Battle_of_Quillian_Square.html
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@@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
+
+
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Battle of Quillian Square
+
Quillian Square: birthplace of the "Sloppy Joe" and hometown of military
+general Septimus the Eighth. Now a destitute nuclear wasteland, thanks to some
+kids and a personal grudge. Since I don't get paid enough to cover any of the
+important battles, I'll take the opportunity to set the facts straight on what
+did and did not happen in the Battle of Quillian Square.
+
What happened?
+
• The square was ransacked by a group of mechanized infants known as the Kindergarten Kops.
+It is unclear what the motive was behind the attack, but expert witness
+"Sloppy" Joe believes it was a pitiful attempt to challenge
+the monopoly of the Sloppy Joe on the sandwich market.
+
• The Battle of Quillian Square featured the first, and only, ever recorded use of
+gattling ducks in military warfare.
+
What did not happen?
+
• First Quartile military control was not reduced in Quillian Square or any
+surrounding area as a result of the battle.
+
• Radiation from the battle has not had any affect on the nutritional value of
+Sloppy Joes.
+
The Battle of Quillian Square saw a great, thriving town reduced to rubble and
+ruins, although sources suggest you can still purchase a Sloppy Joe from
+Sloppy Joe's, only 5.99!
+
This article was not sponsored in any way by Sloppy Joe's Sloppy Joe sandwiches, the official
+sandwich of the 13th annual Quadrant Cup.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Chloroveritase
+
Chloroveritase is a substance exuded by gattling ducks during weapon discharge. Despite its humble origins as a byproduct of avian assault troops, chloroveritase has become an immensely important substance due to its curious ability to make things see-through. It sees use by the World Transfer Agency as a screening method, which has caused some controversy given that the see-through effect sometimes does not wear off, causing transferred persons grief when their clothes or skin is made permanently transparent.
+
Though Petrov van der Deathface's eponymous condition is officially attributed by the resistance to WTA malice, no known WTA procedure applies chloroveritase only to the facial skin and muscle, and so despite the popular appeal of such stories, scholars generally consider it to have been self-inflicted for political reasons.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Circus Moon
+
In Disquietist folk tales, the "Circus Moon" heralds the arrival of Teramince to the physical world. According to other myths, the light reflected from the moon itself is (by means curiously unspecified) sufficient to provide a form for Teramince's body. Accounts of the Circus Moon's appearance vary greatly, but commonly speak of a "stretching" or "warping", as if by a funhouse mirror. According to legend, its appearence is usually accompanied by corvids emitting the occasional "Wilhelm Scream."
+
Because no photographs exist of the Circus Moon and that no physical explanation has been offered for its appearance, it is clear that the Circus Moon is little more than a Disquietist fiction. Nonetheless, the tales appear to influence a great number of Disquietist traditions: even the Order of the Black Ladder will quickly assemble for an impromptu barbequeue in the event of a supposed sighting.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
The Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz is a slim volume of content
+compiled, edited, and self-published by Ignatius Clivowycz, a prominent Disquietist leader
+and citizen of the First Quartile. Although presented as a compilation of his extant
+writings, scholars now believe that most of the documents were written specifically for
+this publication. For one, the flow and development of his arguments over the
+Collected Writings and Letters is suspiciously coherent for a collection of ostensibly
+unrelated content. For another, most of the letters are addressed to people who do not
+actually exist.
+
Though undoubtedly a vanity project—it is painfully evident that Clivowycz is trying
+rather too hard to seem wise—historians have found the Collected Writings and Letters
+to be an invaluable historical resource, as Clivowycz's rambling banality belies numerous
+pearls of insight into the political events in which he was involved. Most notable among
+these are his description of his founding of the
+Circle of Fifths and his eerily accurate
+prediction, not only of the Genocide of the Second Quartile, but of the specific
+circumstances of his own death in the Genocide. Various commentators,
+Petrov van der Deathface among them, have observed that if Clivowycz knew he was going
+to die on his ill-fated trip to the Second Quartile, he could have chosen not go. Thus,
+they concluded, Clivowycz's death was probably faked to add an air of mystery to the
+Collected Writings and Letters.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Doctrine of Imbalance
+
The Doctrine of Imbalance of Uriopoges the Wiseass is one of the so-called "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. It was unknown to Remigrationism scholarship until the recent discovery that the Five-Hundred Injunctions found in the Transactions spell out an acrostic message. This was likely overlooked for so long because of the marginal nature of the Transactions. Initial reactions were highly skeptical -- the Injunctions are hurried marginal notes, after all -- but the improbability has convinced the field that the Doctrine is legitimate and inspired a search for other hidden doctrines in Uriopoges' writings.
+
In relation to other Remigrationist doctrines, the Doctrine of Imbalance qualifies the idea of the cycle of life to suggest that the distribution of souls in the cycle is not even, but is heavily concentrated to one side. It does not figure largely into public Remigrationist discourse, leaving the question open as to how much significance it could possibly have and raising questions about why Uriopoges went to such lengths to hide it in the Transactions.
+
While the tall tales of the "secret doctrines" certainly add that je ne sais quoi to the otherwise revolting doctrines of Remigrationism, it is in my opinion an unprofitable avenue of Remigrationist scholarship that distracts from more pressing issues, such as Rightson's excellent recent essay on the proposals for a Reformed Remigrationism put forth by Joculus the Red in his latest essay-length graffiti on the walls of the Mystery District.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Double-Eighth Hexadecisection
+
To some, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was a godsend. No longer were there
+single big governments ruling over each of the four quartiles, but rather
+four smaller governments in place of each original. Some argue that without this
+dramatic shift, we would never have seen the fall of the infamous Joculus the Red.
+
To others, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was the single worst piece of
+legislation in the history of the quartiles since the Penultimate Compact.
+Originally, there was simplicity, a harmony of four governments working together
+for the benefit of all. Now, there is chaos, a political frenzy that has rendered
+the legislative process obsolete. Initially, some argued that the newly-created
+factions such as the Circle of Fifths
+were radical and unorthodox. For reasons unknown, the voices of opposition have
+grown quieter over the years.
+
And to a select few, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection remains one of many
+phrases impossible to say correctly on the first try.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
First Quartile
+
The First Quartile is one of four Quartiles that comprise the Risible Republic. It
+enjoys a somewhat advantaged position over the other three Quartiles in Republic politics.
+Analysts attribute this mostly to force projection abilities: the World Transfer Agency,
+based primarily in the First Quartile, has shifted significantly pro-First Quartile in
+recent years. Due to the First Quartile's central position in the Republic, both
+geographically and politically, it has accumulated no small amount of cultural influence
+as well. This can be seen most prominently in the recent growth of Remigrationism in
+Disquietist circles.
+
The national deity of the First Quartile is Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter. This
+state of affairs has caused no small amount of consternation among the other Quartiles,
+particularly over such phrases in Teramince's holy book as "Go forth among the infidels
+and harvest bloodily their precious, precious organs"—a command which the First Quartile
+administration officially claims is a metaphor. That said, some scholars have noted that
+the waitlist for organ donations is significantly shorter in the First Quartile, even
+after controlling for population and socio-economic status. The controversy is ongoing at
+the time of writing.
+
The First Quartile boasts its share of notable personages. These include such figures as
+spiritual leader Uriopoges the Wiseass, noted as the founder of Remigrationism; the
+kickboxer known as the Hand of Justice, who claims to be a prophet of Teramince; and
+Petrov van der Deathface, despite his attempts to eradicate all traces of his past.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
Following the conclusion of the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection, most
+quartiles resorted to controversal means of achieving their political goals. Most shocking among them is the Genocide of the Second Quartile, provoked by a particularly detestable, pun-laden Disquietist fan fiction.
+
The genocide began swiftly, with the introduction of reams of paperwork into
+the dwellings of anyone sporting a Red Nose. Crippled
+by their life-long instruction in carefree japery, the Disquietists were unable
+to cope, and most passed away before the filing deadline.
+Subsequent experiments with fish indicate that fish subjected
+to life with 10kg of paperwork in their habitat tend to quickly suffocate or
+die of starvation. A similar biological process is thought to be responsible
+for the near extinction of the Disquietists from the second quartile.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
God
+
A being known by all and agreed upon by none. Most widely known for his holy text,
+the Rules page. While scholars previously believed God to be largely absent from
+the workings of the world, new evidence points to his involvement in many key
+events in recent times.
+
In the aftermath of the Genocide of the Second Quartile, graffiti has been
+seen on various buildings with messages such as "God was here." It is
+unclear whether God had a direct influence on the massacre, or if this is
+just another attempt by Joculus the Red to get revenge on God for stealing
+his burrito from the office fridge.
+
God's allegiance has been debated, though evidence suggests he may lean slightly
+toward Disquietism. "The First Quartile has most of the resources and power," stated
+God, when questioned about the subject, "and the Disquietists, and the Order of
+the Black Ladder in particular, are resisting them."
+
God has been cited numerous times as the divine inspiration for such radical works
+as Uriopoges' Doctrine of Imbalance, though he continues
+to remain silent on these issues.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Hand of Justice
+
My dear Jay,
+
I hope this letter finds you well as you prepare for the Thirteenth Annual Quadrant Cup next month. Unfortunately, I must turn down your speaking request; my research is too pressing at this juncture to engage the week-long ceremonies of the Cup and prepare a lecture for the occasion.
+
I assume you have already read, or otherwise know about, my recent papers on the "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. Though I cannot take your offer of a speaking engagement, if you have an afternoon to spare from your unending dispute with Ms Legaria, I should be ever so greatful to discuss the recent discoveries with you. We may be much closer than anticipated to uncovering what old Urion, God rest his soul, knew about the Genocide of the Second Quartile prior to its occurrence. I have some theories I am eager to share about his relation to Clivowycz.
+
Please send your response to me by letter this time. I have told you several times already: I am not Teramince. I will not receive your response if you send it via prayer, nor will I be aware of its contents if you attach it to a carrier pigeon and toss it into a meat grinder like you did last time.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Honorius Rightson
+
The Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD is a prominent scholar of
+Disquietist history and culture. His early life was spent in the Third Quartile, but he
+soon moved to the University of Haven Rock in the First Quartile to pursue a career in
+scholarship. He received the degree of Practitioner of the Rock for his thesis,
+"The Implications of Grammatical Irregularities in Opogester's
+Transactions." After
+only three years of apprenticeship, he claimed the title of Wise Knower of Doctrine in
+the traditional way (that is, besting his former mentor in single combat and seizing his
+mentor's title), thereby gaining full professership.
+
Rightson's scholarly work of late has focused on Remigrationism as a cultural force,
+particularly with respect to its impact on Disquietism. Of particular note is his work
+with Jay Gubbins, the self-proclaimed prophet of
+Teramince and self-styled Hand of Justice.
+Although Rightson's research was able to provide valuable insight into Remigrationism,
+Gubbins's instability led him to believe that Rightson was Teramince himself.
+Because of Gubbins's influence in Remigrationist circles, it is not unusual for them to
+think Rightson is their god in disguise, and he is often invoked in the rites
+surrounding the Quadrant Cup.
+
In honor of the sacrifices he has made in the line of his scholarly duties, this
+Encyclopedia is dedicated to him.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Joculus the Red
+
Joculus the Red was an influential and infamous Disquietist known principally for his fateful Nose Ceremony massacre.
+Even from an early age, Joculus was alarmingly incapable of differentiating jokes from savage transgressions against God and humanity alike.
+Subsequent research suggests that this was likely due to accumulated exposure to trace amounts of chloroveritase as a toddler, which provoked hypersensitivity
+of his ulnar nerve. The Antifestivites vilified him, recounting his tasteless "jokes" in support of the remigration.
+
Among his odious "pranks" gone awry:
+
- Ruining the fifth Quadrant Cup by substituting sugar for baking soda in the Sloppy Joe's industrial cookbook
+
- Defusing the world's entire supply of exploding cigars
+
- Bankrupting the First Quadrant's premier restaurant franchise by exploiting its "unlimited breadsticks" policy
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Kindergarten Kops
+
The paramilitary force known as the Kindergerten Kops was a brutal enforcement mechanism of
+the Fourth Quartile. With all the power of a mechanized mercenary army and all the diplomatic
+skill of a class of kindergarteners, the mech-piloting toddlers of the Kops painted a bloody
+swath across the chaos of the Reformation.
+
Full specifications of the Kops' armored chassis were never released to the public, but redacted
+documents detail military-grade armor protecting critical sections such as joints and the
+toddler pilot. Accounts of Kop raids recount several weapon types, including tear gas grenade
+launchers, flamethrowers, gatling guns, and heavy artillery. Reports indicate that their weapons
+were grafted to the chassis' arms, so it is likely that there were several distinct roles within the
+Kindergarten Kops that specialized chassis were designed for.
+
Eyewitness testimony reports that Kindergarten Kops led the charge at the Battle of Quillian Square
+that broke the resistance lines and resulted in the deaths of several opposition leaders, including
+Petrov van der Deathface.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Lega the Hamhanded
+
Following the Quartile Reformation, Legaria Porkins saw her rise to power as the
+first and current elected governor of the Third Quartile. If you've forgotten
+that the Third Quartile even exists, that's no accident. Under Porkins'
+leadership, the Third Quartile has remained absent from nearly all major Republic
+conflicts.
+
Porkins has taken a strictly neutral stance on Remigrationism, signing nonaggression
+pacts with Remigrationist leaders such as Uriopoges the Wiseass along with resistance
+leaders such as Petrov van der Deathface. In her first address to the Republic
+after these pacts, she stated the Third Quartile would not participate in the conflict
+in order to devote more time and resources into foosball, the Quartile's national sport.
+
Porkins is known to participate in competitive kickboxing. Many claim she has used
+fist-enlarging drugs to get an edge against her rival, the Hand of Justice in
+the ring. This conspiracy, along with an unfortunately exploitable surname,
+has left her with the nickname Lega the Hamhanded. Her supporters deny
+all allegations, but have refused to comment when questioned with the fact that
+despite over 200 public broadcasts, Porkins' hands have never once appeared on
+camera. Coincidence? Just think about it.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Mystery District
+
In every map made of the Republic, on the far side of the Third Quartile, there
+is a small sector conspicuously missing. On some maps, you might see it labeled
+the Mystery District, though this is simply a name given to the region by
+fans of conspiracies surrounding it.
+
Due to massive walls bordering the district and an estimated 250 personnel on
+patrol around the perimeter, no one from outside the district has ever been
+inside. As such, absolutely nothing is known about its purpose. Conspirators
+have their theories, however:
+
- As the Mystery District lies on the outer boundary of the Republic, many have
+speculated ties to The Outlands. Some believe The WYZZYIRD is involved
+in the district as well, but no one who has furthered this theory has ever
+been heard from again.
+
- Perhaps a more reasonable theory is that of resistance leader
+Petrov van der Deathface, who believes the district to be the secret cult
+worshipping grounds of the Clown-God of Slaughter.
+
- Third Quartile officials have assured the public that there is nothing suspicious
+going on in the district, but of course one should take these assurances with
+a grain of salt.
+
Three months ago, First Quartile leaders said they were preparing an
+investigation into the Mystery District, but no action has been taken by them
+since then.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Nose Ceremony
+
A Nose Ceremony is a rite of passage among the Disquietists. Young acolytes complete a series of three trials, at the end of which they are presented with a red rubber false nose. Their acceptance of the nose signifies their progression to the full status of clownhood. The exact details of the trials depend on the traditions and strictures of the Disquietist school, but typically the acolytes will face a trial of slapstick, a trial of stand-up comedy, and a trial in which they unsettle as many people as they can within a set time period.
+
Where Nose Ceremonies had traditionally been more freeform, recent years have seen a shift towards greater control by the acolyte's school. This can be traced to the infamous actions of Joculus the Red, who, during his Nose Ceremony, murdered eighty people with nothing but an oversized shoe and a cream pie. In the outrage surrounding the massacre, Disquietist schools were forced to take measures to assure the public such an event would not occur again. A notable exception is the Order of the Black Ladder, who, true to form, continue to respond to any and all complaints by filling the complainer's room with googly eyes while they sleep.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Order of the Black Ladder
+
The Order of the Black Ladder is an illustrious Disquietist school and quite possibly the most unorthodox. Despite pressure from the Circle of Fifths, the Order has maintained its status as the most unpredictable of the post-Reformation schools. Recent work by cryptoarchaeologists has unearthed evidence that Order meddling was responsible for the prank war whose escalation eventually resulted in the Battle of Quillian Square, making them the second-deadliest Disquietist school by body count.
+
Black Ladder unorthodoxy has resulted in a number of bitter feuds with the more traditional Disquietists that control the Circle. One notable example is their stance on the World Transfer Agency: while traditional Disquietism has variously opposed or abetted the WTA, Black Ladder acolytes tend to view it with indifference, going so far as to gain employment in it only to abuse their security credentials for pranks. This and other conflicts characterize the Order's relationship to Disquietism at large (virtually all of the Injunctions found in Volume 5 of the Transactions are against Order practices).
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Penultimate Compact
+
The Penultimate Compact was a civil and religious agreement which marked the founding of the Risible Republic. It divided the Republic's terrain into several semi-autonomous administrative regions, with each region optimized for a specific economic activity. It was originally known as the "Ultimate Compact," reflecting the contemporaneous belief that the Compact would result in a perfect society with no further need for change. However, the initial design of the Republic resulted in an outbreak of sectarianism, which culminated in the Quartile Reformation and the utter destruction of all but four of the Republic's administrative regions. The first use of the name "Penultimate Compact" was by Lega the Hamhanded in her inaugural address.
+
Certain features of the original Compact have persisted to the current day. Most obviously are the Quartiles, the four surviving remnants of the original administrative regions. The post-Reformation Compact also preserved the World Transfer Agency, in order to secure the Republic's ability to transport personnel and materials across the radioactive wastes of former regions. The WTA was originally distributed across the Republic, but post-Reformation, the bulk of its assets were concentrated in the First Quartile.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Petrov van der Deathface
+
Okay, we get it. Deathface allegedly single-handedly wiped out no less than
+twenty two Kops in the Battle of Quillian Square. Deathface
+has a kill count greater than every other First Quartile soldier's, combined.
+We get it, Deathface was a legendary war hero. The glory of his mustache rivaled
+that of Mustachius, the highest of the mustache dieties. But have you ever stopped
+to think about how ridiculous those stories are? One single man, accomplishing all
+Deathface did in his tragically short-lived life? It's preposterous! The man named
+Petrov van der Deathface is nothing but a sham, a marketing ploy to sell
+more t-shirts!
+
Not convinced? Then perhaps consider the fact that Deathface does not have a face.
+Everyone knows that real people have faces. Therefore, Petrov van der Deathface
+is not a real person. Q. E. Motherfucking. D.
+
Grab a copy of the Doctrine of Imbalance from your local library and give it
+a read. It explicitly states in there that Deathface is but a myth. Or something
+similar, anyways. Point is, you've all been had! Open your eyes and don't give
+into this scam!
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Quadrant Cup
+
What is the Quadrant Cup? Well, that's an easy one, sport. It's your one and only
+Social Responsibility™! At the end of the day, the hardworking men and women
+of the First Quartile deserve an affordable dinner they can depend on --
+and that's where you come in!
+
Close one eye, and wink into the twinkling eyes of Urion Opogester. Now
+close 'em both and race headfirst intoMegameat's gaping maw, champ! You'll make
+Honorious Rightson proud!
+
You've had your sip of life, and now it's time for life to sip back. Oh, come on now... you wouldn't want to Megameat to summon the Kops...
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Strontz-Mork Fish Trials
+
The so-called Strontz-Mork Fish Trials were a series of high-profile show trials institaged by enemies of the Disquietists within the Remigrationist camp. The Fish Trials resulted in the house arrests and subsequent political assassinations of prominent Disquietist leaders, which were variously blamed on other causes of death. Their characteristic name comes from the inexplicably successful defense, now known as the "Strontz-Mork Defense", that pointed to the victims' dead pet fish as evidence that the deaths had not been assassinations.
+
While the precise political motive for the Fish Trials remains unknown, "Sloppy Joe", the mysterious benefactor of the Remigrationist-affiliated annual ritual blood sacrifice known as the Quadrant Cup -- a euphemism for the massive cup situated between the four Quartiles whose true name is Megameat the Doomgoblet [sic] -- has generally been blamed in recent scholarly review of the topic. After all, the method of assassination matches the previous Second Quartile Genocide, which is known to have been started by "Sloppy Joe" in retalitation for the sharp drop in attendence caused by Disquietist fanfiction that made fun of the idea of grinding victims into mincemeat and selling them as sandwiches.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
According to canon, Teramince ascended over the former Clown-God of Slaughter,
+Gigamince, by baking him into a casserole of cosmic proportions and eating
+him to gain his power. Once a year, recalling her hilarious feast, Teramince's
+sanguine hunger waxes, and wanes only with a leviathan sip of the
+Quadrant Cup.
+
On this occasion, Teramince takes physical form from the shadows cast by the
+Circus Moon in order to walk amidst mortals and record flavor notes for
+her annual people-tasting. Although unconfirmed by any written report, Uriopoges is fabled to have become her high priest after offering her a nibble of his index finger, whereupon she pronounced him "...a man of excellent taste and flavor."
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited
+
Although the beginnings of the Disquietist revolution are unclear, many
+ scholars attribute the movement to would-be Disquietist Convosembly leader
+ Ignatius Clivowycz' refusal to comply with a demand to "...turn the damned
+ music down", supposedly issued by his superior officer, Klaus DuKrampus. This
+ explanation is corroborated by the earliest proceedings of the Convosembly,
+ which outlines the formation of the governing "Circle of Fifths," responsible
+ for the authorship of the infamous "Five-Hundred Injunctions."
+ (Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5)
+
While the adumbral Circle is considered inseparable from the movement itself,
+ Clivowycz' recently-discovered personal correspondence suggests that it may
+ never have been formed for ideological reasons, but simple personal gain.
+ Following the Quartile Reformation and its natural extensions, the Tertile
+ Revival and Quintile Quandary, Clivowycz claims that he proposed the
+ Circle with the intention of "... [leveraging] popular sentiment... to
+ place [himself] in control of a world-governing cabal" when writing to his
+ sole nephew (Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz).
+ Furthermore, this suggests that the puzzling Disquietist fascination with
+ small primes is not a philosophical obsession, but rather a strategy to
+ bolster public appeal.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
The Jocular Revolution
+
The Jocular Revolution is the name being used for the sudden upheaval of the past
+few days. Joculus the Red has apparently returned, leading operatives who some claim are
+The WYZZYIRD, to overthrow Megameat the Doomgoblet [sic] and restore balance to
+the Quartiles. I've seen reports that Petrov van der Deathface is among them.
+Uriopoges the Wiseass has apparently been slain in combat, and
+Teramince manifested only to be yodeled into
+The Outlands. Information is currently vague, hard to come by, and contradictory, but
+if even a fraction of these reports are true, the very course of history is changing as I
+pen these words.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
The Outlands
+
Far past the edges of the quartiles, three blocks down from the neighborhood of
+infinity, the Outlands are rumored to stretch. Those who the Outlands took,
+the Outlands took forever.
+
Leaving the Outlands poses a considerable challenge. All the landscapes are
+filmed in portrait. You can only turn left. The ping times are abysmal, and the
+sun keeps burning out. Some wonder, licking bitter dew from the leaves of the
+refutrees for sustenance, but they'll never leave.
+
Staying in the Outlands is no better. The lice are the size of shoes and the
+only mixed drinks are rum and coke. As a courtesy to the wayward prisoner,
+there is the occasional quantity of maple syrup, but only enough to make one's
+sleeve sticky.
+
It is unclear who takes people to the Outlands, but the daring few who would
+posit a guess universally blame the WYZZYIRD or the World Transfer Agency.
+(These bold souls are not often heard from again.)
+
Some suggest that the Outlands are an elaborate joke executed by
+the Order of the Black Ladder. Would that we knew the punchline.
+Wouldn't that we ever see it firsthand.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
The WYZZYIRD
+
The Wavelength Yocto-Zig-Zag Yodel Infiltration/Relocation Division, or WYZZYIRD for short, is alleged to be a clandestine military unit operating out of the enigmatic Mystery District in the Third Quartile. While the scant evidence of their existence (mostly notes from the private journals of Her Quartness Quartilord Lega) is disputed academically only in hushed tones, the WYZZYIRD remains a popular topic of urban legend.
+
The central narratives of the WYZZYIRD legends claim that its operatives use yodelling at absurdly high frequencies -- their titular "wavelength yocto-zig-zag yodel" -- in order to quantum tunnel through walls or across great distances in order to infiltrate their target's location, where they use their yodelling to suck their target through a wormhole to the dreaded Outlands. Some allege that the WYZZYIRD is a division of the World Transfer Agency, but as in all things WYZZYIRD, available facts are scant.
+
One of the most popular variations on the WYZZYIRD urban legend is the claim that Joculus the Red is one of their operatives. This tall tale is likely inspired by Joculus' boasts about his ability to hide a burrito in any fridge, even fridges unreachable to mortal men, combined with his unsettling track record of having never lied.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
The Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, known more concisely as the
+Transactions, are a set of volumes detailing the running expenses of the
+Clamorous Convosembly. The vast majority of these volumes are of minimal historical
+interest, detailing such mundane matters as catering costs and reimbursements for prank
+supplies (this last to be expected from any institutionalized gathering of Disquietists).
+However, Volume 5 of the Transactions has taken on disproportionate significance
+among historians. Volume 5 was compiled during the Uriopoges the Wiseass's tragically
+short-lived tenure as Convosembly treasurer and member of the Circle of Fifths.
+
Uriopoges, who is recognized mostly for his role as the founder of Remigrationism, had a
+habit of making comments in the margins of the Transactions, ranging from insults
+about other Convosembly members, to commentary on the proceedings, to moral statements
+that foreshadow his later teachings. Contemporary scholars have focused particularly on
+what have been termed his "Five-Hundred Injunctions," which mostly rage against the
+practices of the Order of the Black Ladder. However, when constructing their
+interpretations, these scholars tend to ignore that the Injunctions were written alongside
+a truly epic list of prank reimbursements to Hisaguru the Silent, then-current head of the
+Order. It should require only elementary reasoning to understand what might have made
+Uriopoges so angry about this particular set of pranks.
+
Unfortunately, emphasis on the Injunctions has served to draw attention away from other
+teachings first elucidated in the Transactions, such as his Doctrine of Imbalance
+and the Parable of the Bird Thief.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Trek and Remigration of the Antifestivites
+
Among those who believe in remigrationism are the Antifestivities, a
+less-extreme group known for their condemnation of practices encouraged by
+Joculus the Red. Although they insist that they're "nothing like those
+idiots," leveraging the fact that they do not worship the
+Clown-God, they are usually lumped together
+with the rest of the Disquietists.
+
The Antifestivities participate in the ongoing remigration, but where are they
+migrating to? Some believe they are preparing to take back their homeland, a party
+store in the southern parts of the First Quartile which used to serve as their
+office headquarters before the Quartile Reformation. Their name, the Antifestivities,
+is misleading; many people mistakenly believe they are against festivities in general.
+In reality, though, items such as beer, tortilla chips, and pizza delivery coupons
+account for over half of what they take with them on their journeys.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
Few figures in the history of the Risible Republic can claim to have as much influence as Urion Opogester, the founder of Remigrationism. He is better known by his cultic name, Uriopoges the Wiseass, which he took after his violent expulsion from the Circle of Fifths and subsequent ascension as the high priest of Teramince.
+
The first note of Opogester in the records of the Clamorous Convosembly is of a secretary with both exceptional eloquence and vehemence. After his election as treasurer, records in the Transactions indicate that he took advantage of this position to push his agenda of extreme slapstick and thrill pranks in the Convosembly. While Opogester had high-placed figures like Klaus DuKrampus on his side, the oppositon party headed by Undersecretary Ignatius Clivowycz succeeded in ousting him on charges of "crimes against clownhood" and banning him from the Convosembly.
+
These seminal events would lend shape to the often-amorphous doctrines later grouped under the heading of Remigrationism. Preaching the ephemerality of the world and the cyclical nature of our journey through it -- the "remigration" -- Opogester, now Uriopoges, united the sectarian First Quartile around the idea that the cycle of life is a carousel, carousels are more fun if they go faster, and therefore we ought to send people around it as fast as possible.
+
Uriopoges' crowning achievement, the construction of Megameat the Doomgoblet [sic], was beset by resistance from orthodox and unorthodox Disquietists alike, which ultimately culminated in the Battle of Quillian Square, where the Remigrationists were victorious despite heavy losses.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
War of Civil Coherence
+
The War of Civil Coherence was a conflict primarily between
+hexadecisections of the First Quartile and everyone
+else. It is unclear exactly why the war began, but many contemporary scholars point to
+the escalation of a wide-ranging prank war instigated by the Order of the Black Ladder
+against the emerging Remigrationist movement. Note that the label "War of Civil
+Coherence" is one insisted upon primarily by First Quartile scholars; among some
+Disquietist schools, it is known as "The Revolution pt. II," a reference to the
+Disquietist dogmatic teaching that all sequels are inevitably social and commercial
+failures.
+
The war proceeded according to the following pattern, at various scales. First, anti-
+Remigrationist forces would perform a prank or other offense in some area. Second, First
+Quartile military forces would move to that area and attempt to stamp out resistance.
+Without the benefit of World Transfer Agency logistical support, the resistance forces
+either fought (and died), or relocated to start the cycle anew.
+
Resistance forces were led by General Petrov van der Deathface, who, during the war,
+acquired a reputation as an unparalleled tactical genius. Though unable to directly halt
+the First Quartile's advance, military historians have noted that he left them
+over-extended to the point where a handful of strategic strikes could have crippled their
+military machine. Did the grand strategist have a plan to win the war? Sadly, we may
+never know, as van der Deathface was killed by a stray bullet at the
+Battle of Quillian Square while attempting to bait a squad of Kindergarten Kops
+into charging their First Quartile allies. Within weeks of his death, the First Quartile
+declared victory.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Westexico
+
Westexico is a province on the other side of First Quartile that serves as
+God's burrito orchard. While it is generally respected that God's
+burrito recipe is simply divine, few other sentient entities have the
+sophisticated resources or knowledge necessary to construct a suitable tree to
+produce them, like God intended.
+
Because of the logistical problems presented by tunnelling to the other side
+of the continent, burritos are a very scare resource. This scarcity makes them a
+natural choice for currency in the four Quartiles, accepted anywhere in the Quartiles following the
+Penultimate Compact. Their use as currency has a few peculiar consequences -- first,
+that price of a burrito is as unchanging as God himself; and second, that one's want for
+money grows proportionally with their hunger.
+
Some conjecture that The WYZZYIRD, if it exists, is naught but a get-rich-quick scheme
+with the eventual goal of exfiltrating God's entire Westexican Reserve, ordinarily shared
+only with his elect. Similarly, there exist rumors of the Hand of Justice plotting a
+similar heist.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
World Transfer Agency
+
Overview
+
The World Transfer Agency (WTA) is the organization that handles all permanent relocation
+of persons and goods across quartiles. Though its methods have been questioned by naysayers,
+it is responsible for the continued security and well-being of every citizen in our glorious
+First Quartile.
+
Controversy
+
The WTA has been the center of debate amongst members of all quartiles. Most often cited is
+the organization's use of chloroveritase to screen migrants for weapons and other
+dangerous materials. It is without a doubt, however, that the chemical's use is more
+efficient than any other proposed method.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Formatting
+
Lexipython provides support for a limited amount of Markdown-esque formatting.
+
+# Player: PN
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: Example page
+
+This is an example page.
+Some words are //italicized//,
+and some words are **bolded**.
+All of these sentences are part of the same paragraph.
+
+This is a new paragraph.\\
+Unlike the last paragraph, this line will be after a line break within the paragraph.
+
+This is an [[example citation|Phantom page]]. You can also cite a [[phantom page]] with just the title.
+
+~Dr. X. Amplepage
+
+
Each turn, fill out the header with your player information, the current turn, and the title of your entry. The Player field can be anything as long as it's the same for all articles you write (even when they're by different characters). Using your initials is recommended.
+
Two line breaks begins a new paragraph. A single line break does nothing, unless the line is neded by a double backslash (\\).
+
Text bounded by ** will be bolded: **bold** produces bold. Text bounded by // will be italicized: //italics// produces italics.
+
To cite another Lexicon entry, use double brackets. Text in double brackets will cite and link to the entry of the same name: [[Example page]] produces Example page. Text in double brackets split with a | will alias the link as the left text and link to the entry with the name of the right text: [[this text|Example page]] produces this text. You must be precise in the entry title you cite to. Citations to "Example" vs. "The Example" will point to different entries and create different phantoms, and your GM will probably have to clean up after you.
+
Beginning a paragraph with ~ will right-align it and place a horizontal line above it. Use this for signing your entry with your scholar's name.
+
+
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/lexicon.cfg b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/lexicon.cfg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..597547b
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/lexicon.cfg
@@ -0,0 +1,49 @@
+# LEXIPYTHON CONFIG FILE
+#
+# This file defines the configuration values for an instance of Lexipython.
+# Configuration values are written as:
+>>>CONFIG_NAME>>>
+value
+<<>>LEXICON_TITLE>>>
+Lexicon Alpha
+<<>>LOGO_FILENAME>>>
+logo.png
+<<>>PROMPT>>>
+In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+<<>>SESSION_PAGE>>>
+
Although the beginnings of the Disquietist revolution are unclear, many
+ scholars attribute the movement to would-be Disquietist Convosembly leader
+ Ignatius Clivowycz' refusal to comply with a demand to "...turn the damned
+ music down", supposedly issued by his superior officer, Klaus DuKrampus. This
+ explanation is corroborated by the earliest proceedings of the Convosembly,
+ which outlines the formation of the governing "Circle of Fifths," responsible
+ for the authorship of the infamous "Five-Hundred Injunctions."
+ (Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 51)
+
While the adumbral Circle is considered inseparable from the movement itself,
+ Clivowycz' recently-discovered personal correspondence suggests that it may
+ never have been formed for ideological reasons, but simple personal gain.
+ Following the Quartile Reformation and its natural extensions, the Tertile
+ Revival and Quintile Quandary, Clivowycz claims that he proposed the
+ Circle with the intention of "... [leveraging] popular sentiment... to
+ place [himself] in control of a world-governing cabal" when writing to his
+ sole nephew (Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz2).
+ Furthermore, this suggests that the puzzling Disquietist fascination with
+ small primes is not a philosophical obsession, but rather a strategy to
+ bolster public appeal.
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+2. Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
+
+
+
Kindergarten Kops
+
The paramilitary force known as the Kindergerten Kops was a brutal enforcement mechanism of
+the Fourth Quartile. With all the power of a mechanized mercenary army and all the diplomatic
+skill of a class of kindergarteners, the mech-piloting toddlers of the Kops painted a bloody
+swath across the chaos of the Reformation.
+
Full specifications of the Kops' armored chassis were never released to the public, but redacted
+documents detail military-grade armor protecting critical sections such as joints and the
+toddler pilot. Accounts of Kop raids recount several weapon types, including tear gas grenade
+launchers, flamethrowers, gatling guns, and heavy artillery. Reports indicate that their weapons
+were grafted to the chassis' arms, so it is likely that there were several distinct roles within the
+Kindergarten Kops that specialized chassis were designed for.
+
Eyewitness testimony reports that Kindergarten Kops led the charge at the Battle of Quillian Square1
+that broke the resistance lines and resulted in the deaths of several opposition leaders, including
+Petrov van der Deathface2.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Battle of Quillian Square
+
+2. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+
+
+
Nose Ceremony
+
A Nose Ceremony is a rite of passage among the Disquietists. Young acolytes complete a series of three trials, at the end of which they are presented with a red rubber false nose. Their acceptance of the nose signifies their progression to the full status of clownhood. The exact details of the trials depend on the traditions and strictures of the Disquietist school, but typically the acolytes will face a trial of slapstick, a trial of stand-up comedy, and a trial in which they unsettle as many people as they can within a set time period.
+
Where Nose Ceremonies had traditionally been more freeform, recent years have seen a shift towards greater control by the acolyte's school. This can be traced to the infamous actions of Joculus the Red1, who, during his Nose Ceremony, murdered eighty people with nothing but an oversized shoe and a cream pie. In the outrage surrounding the massacre, Disquietist schools were forced to take measures to assure the public such an event would not occur again. A notable exception is the Order of the Black Ladder2, who, true to form, continue to respond to any and all complaints by filling the complainer's room with googly eyes while they sleep.
+
Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. Joculus the Red
+
+2. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+
+
+
World Transfer Agency
+
Overview
+
The World Transfer Agency (WTA) is the organization that handles all permanent relocation
+of persons and goods across quartiles. Though its methods have been questioned by naysayers,
+it is responsible for the continued security and well-being of every citizen in our glorious
+First Quartile1.
+
Controversy
+
The WTA has been the center of debate amongst members of all quartiles. Most often cited is
+the organization's use of chloroveritase2 to screen migrants for weapons and other
+dangerous materials. It is without a doubt, however, that the chemical's use is more
+efficient than any other proposed method.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. First Quartile
+
+2. Chloroveritase
+
+
+
+
Battle of Quillian Square
+
Quillian Square: birthplace of the "Sloppy Joe" and hometown of military
+general Septimus the Eighth. Now a destitute nuclear wasteland, thanks to some
+kids and a personal grudge. Since I don't get paid enough to cover any of the
+important battles, I'll take the opportunity to set the facts straight on what
+did and did not happen in the Battle of Quillian Square.
+
What happened?
+
• The square was ransacked by a group of mechanized infants known as the Kindergarten Kops1.
+It is unclear what the motive was behind the attack, but expert witness
+"Sloppy" Joe believes it was a pitiful attempt to challenge
+the monopoly of the Sloppy Joe on the sandwich market.
+
• The Battle of Quillian Square featured the first, and only, ever recorded use of
+gattling ducks2 in military warfare.
+
What did not happen?
+
• First Quartile military control was not reduced in Quillian Square or any
+surrounding area as a result of the battle.
+
• Radiation from the battle has not had any affect on the nutritional value of
+Sloppy Joes.
+
The Battle of Quillian Square saw a great, thriving town reduced to rubble and
+ruins, although sources suggest you can still purchase a Sloppy Joe from
+Sloppy Joe's, only 5.99!
+
This article was not sponsored in any way by Sloppy Joe's Sloppy Joe sandwiches, the official
+sandwich of the 13th annual Quadrant Cup3.
Following the conclusion of the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection1, most
+quartiles resorted to controversal means of achieving their political goals. Most shocking among them is the Genocide of the Second Quartile, provoked by a particularly detestable, pun-laden Disquietist fan fiction.
+
The genocide began swiftly, with the introduction of reams of paperwork into
+the dwellings of anyone sporting a Red Nose2. Crippled
+by their life-long instruction in carefree japery, the Disquietists were unable
+to cope, and most passed away before the filing deadline.
+Subsequent experiments with fish3 indicate that fish subjected
+to life with 10kg of paperwork in their habitat tend to quickly suffocate or
+die of starvation. A similar biological process is thought to be responsible
+for the near extinction of the Disquietists from the second quartile.
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. Double-Eighth Hexadecisection
+
+2. Nose Ceremony
+
+3. Strontz-Mork Fish Trials
+
+
+
+
Order of the Black Ladder
+
The Order of the Black Ladder is an illustrious Disquietist school and quite possibly the most unorthodox. Despite pressure from the Circle of Fifths, the Order has maintained its status as the most unpredictable of the post-Reformation schools. Recent work by cryptoarchaeologists has unearthed evidence that Order meddling was responsible for the prank war whose escalation eventually resulted in the Battle of Quillian Square1, making them the second-deadliest Disquietist school by body count.
+
Black Ladder unorthodoxy has resulted in a number of bitter feuds with the more traditional Disquietists that control the Circle. One notable example is their stance on the World Transfer Agency2: while traditional Disquietism has variously opposed or abetted the WTA, Black Ladder acolytes tend to view it with indifference, going so far as to gain employment in it only to abuse their security credentials for pranks. This and other conflicts characterize the Order's relationship to Disquietism at large (virtually all of the Injunctions found in Volume 5 of the Transactions3 are against Order practices).
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Battle of Quillian Square
+
+2. World Transfer Agency
+
+3. Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+
+
+
Penultimate Compact
+
The Penultimate Compact was a civil and religious agreement which marked the founding of the Risible Republic. It divided the Republic's terrain into several semi-autonomous administrative regions, with each region optimized for a specific economic activity. It was originally known as the "Ultimate Compact," reflecting the contemporaneous belief that the Compact would result in a perfect society with no further need for change. However, the initial design of the Republic resulted in an outbreak of sectarianism, which culminated in the Quartile Reformation and the utter destruction of all but four of the Republic's administrative regions. The first use of the name "Penultimate Compact" was by Lega the Hamhanded1 in her inaugural address.
+
Certain features of the original Compact have persisted to the current day. Most obviously are the Quartiles, the four surviving remnants of the original administrative regions. The post-Reformation Compact also preserved the World Transfer Agency2, in order to secure the Republic's ability to transport personnel and materials across the radioactive wastes of former regions. The WTA was originally distributed across the Republic, but post-Reformation, the bulk of its assets were concentrated in the First Quartile3.
+
Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. Lega the Hamhanded
+
+2. World Transfer Agency
+
+3. First Quartile
+
+
+
+
Double-Eighth Hexadecisection
+
To some, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was a godsend. No longer were there
+single big governments ruling over each of the four quartiles, but rather
+four smaller governments in place of each original. Some argue that without this
+dramatic shift, we would never have seen the fall of the infamous Joculus the Red1.
+
To others, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was the single worst piece of
+legislation in the history of the quartiles since the Penultimate Compact2.
+Originally, there was simplicity, a harmony of four governments working together
+for the benefit of all. Now, there is chaos, a political frenzy that has rendered
+the legislative process obsolete. Initially, some argued that the newly-created
+factions such as the Circle of Fifths3
+were radical and unorthodox. For reasons unknown, the voices of opposition have
+grown quieter over the years.
+
And to a select few, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection remains one of many
+phrases impossible to say correctly on the first try.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. Joculus the Red
+
+2. Penultimate Compact
+
+3. The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited
+
+
+
+
Joculus the Red
+
Joculus the Red was an influential and infamous Disquietist known principally for his fateful Nose Ceremony1 massacre.
+Even from an early age, Joculus was alarmingly incapable of differentiating jokes from savage transgressions against God and humanity alike.
+Subsequent research suggests that this was likely due to accumulated exposure to trace amounts of chloroveritase2 as a toddler, which provoked hypersensitivity
+of his ulnar nerve. The Antifestivites vilified him, recounting his tasteless "jokes" in support of the remigration3.
+
Among his odious "pranks" gone awry:
+
- Ruining the fifth Quadrant Cup4 by substituting sugar for baking soda in the Sloppy Joe's industrial cookbook
+
- Defusing the world's entire supply of exploding cigars
+
- Bankrupting the First Quadrant's premier restaurant franchise by exploiting its "unlimited breadsticks" policy
+
- Leaving an outstanding library fine unpaid
+
- Signing his name as "Jacklus ;)" in the Order of the Black Ladder5 guestbook
+
- Mixing tabs and spaces
+
- Wearing, simultaneously, striped socks and plaid pajamas (later punishable by death in the second quartile)
+
Let us never speak of him again!
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
<script>alert("He even placed errant script tags on unsuspecting web applications!");</script>
+
+
Citations:
+1. Nose Ceremony
+
+2. Chloroveritase
+
+3. Trek and Remigration of the Antifestivites
+
+4. Quadrant Cup
+
+5. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+
+
+
Strontz-Mork Fish Trials
+
The so-called Strontz-Mork Fish Trials were a series of high-profile show trials institaged by enemies of the Disquietists within the Remigrationist camp. The Fish Trials resulted in the house arrests and subsequent political assassinations of prominent Disquietist leaders1, which were variously blamed on other causes of death. Their characteristic name comes from the inexplicably successful defense, now known as the "Strontz-Mork Defense", that pointed to the victims' dead pet fish as evidence that the deaths had not been assassinations.
+
While the precise political motive for the Fish Trials remains unknown, "Sloppy Joe", the mysterious benefactor of the Remigrationist-affiliated annual ritual blood sacrifice known as the Quadrant Cup2 -- a euphemism for the massive cup situated between the four Quartiles whose true name is Megameat the Doomgoblet [sic] -- has generally been blamed in recent scholarly review of the topic. After all, the method of assassination matches the previous Second Quartile Genocide3, which is known to have been started by "Sloppy Joe" in retalitation for the sharp drop in attendence caused by Disquietist fanfiction that made fun of the idea of grinding victims into mincemeat and selling them as sandwiches.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
+2. Quadrant Cup
+
+3. Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
+
+
+
Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
The Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, known more concisely as the
+Transactions, are a set of volumes detailing the running expenses of the
+Clamorous Convosembly. The vast majority of these volumes are of minimal historical
+interest, detailing such mundane matters as catering costs and reimbursements for prank
+supplies (this last to be expected from any institutionalized gathering of Disquietists).
+However, Volume 5 of the Transactions has taken on disproportionate significance
+among historians. Volume 5 was compiled during the Uriopoges the Wiseass1's tragically
+short-lived tenure as Convosembly treasurer and member of the Circle of Fifths.
+
Uriopoges, who is recognized mostly for his role as the founder of Remigrationism, had a
+habit of making comments in the margins of the Transactions, ranging from insults
+about other Convosembly members, to commentary on the proceedings, to moral statements
+that foreshadow his later teachings. Contemporary scholars have focused particularly on
+what have been termed his "Five-Hundred Injunctions," which mostly rage against the
+practices of the Order of the Black Ladder2. However, when constructing their
+interpretations, these scholars tend to ignore that the Injunctions were written alongside
+a truly epic list of prank reimbursements to Hisaguru the Silent, then-current head of the
+Order. It should require only elementary reasoning to understand what might have made
+Uriopoges so angry about this particular set of pranks.
+
Unfortunately, emphasis on the Injunctions has served to draw attention away from other
+teachings first elucidated in the Transactions, such as his Doctrine of Imbalance3
+and the Parable of the Bird Thief.
+
Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+2. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+3. Doctrine of Imbalance
+
+
+
+
God
+
A being known by all and agreed upon by none. Most widely known for his holy text,
+the Rules page. While scholars previously believed God to be largely absent from
+the workings of the world, new evidence points to his involvement in many key
+events in recent times.
+
In the aftermath of the Genocide of the Second Quartile1, graffiti has been
+seen on various buildings with messages such as "God was here." It is
+unclear whether God had a direct influence on the massacre, or if this is
+just another attempt by Joculus the Red2 to get revenge on God for stealing
+his burrito from the office fridge.
+
God's allegiance has been debated, though evidence suggests he may lean slightly
+toward Disquietism. "The First Quartile has most of the resources and power," stated
+God, when questioned about the subject, "and the Disquietists, and the Order of
+the Black Ladder in particular, are resisting them."
+
God has been cited numerous times as the divine inspiration for such radical works
+as Uriopoges3' Doctrine of Imbalance4, though he continues
+to remain silent on these issues.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
+2. Joculus the Red
+
+3. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+4. Doctrine of Imbalance
+
+
+
+
The Outlands
+
Far past the edges of the quartiles, three blocks down from the neighborhood of
+infinity, the Outlands are rumored to stretch. Those who the Outlands took,
+the Outlands took forever.
+
Leaving the Outlands poses a considerable challenge. All the landscapes are
+filmed in portrait. You can only turn left. The ping times are abysmal, and the
+sun keeps burning out. Some wonder, licking bitter dew from the leaves of the
+refutrees for sustenance, but they'll never leave.
+
Staying in the Outlands is no better. The lice are the size of shoes and the
+only mixed drinks are rum and coke. As a courtesy to the wayward prisoner,
+there is the occasional quantity of maple syrup, but only enough to make one's
+sleeve sticky.
+
It is unclear who takes people to the Outlands, but the daring few who would
+posit a guess universally blame the WYZZYIRD1 or the World Transfer Agency2.
+(These bold souls are not often heard from again.)
+
Some suggest that the Outlands are an elaborate joke executed by
+the Order of the Black Ladder3. Would that we knew the punchline.
+Wouldn't that we ever see it firsthand.
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. The WYZZYIRD
+
+2. World Transfer Agency
+
+3. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+
+
+
Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
Few figures in the history of the Risible Republic can claim to have as much influence as Urion Opogester, the founder of Remigrationism. He is better known by his cultic name, Uriopoges the Wiseass, which he took after his violent expulsion from the Circle of Fifths and subsequent ascension as the high priest of Teramince1.
+
The first note of Opogester in the records of the Clamorous Convosembly is of a secretary with both exceptional eloquence and vehemence. After his election as treasurer, records in the Transactions2 indicate that he took advantage of this position to push his agenda of extreme slapstick and thrill pranks in the Convosembly. While Opogester had high-placed figures like Klaus DuKrampus on his side, the oppositon party headed by Undersecretary Ignatius Clivowycz3 succeeded in ousting him on charges of "crimes against clownhood" and banning him from the Convosembly.
+
These seminal events would lend shape to the often-amorphous doctrines later grouped under the heading of Remigrationism. Preaching the ephemerality of the world and the cyclical nature of our journey through it -- the "remigration" -- Opogester, now Uriopoges, united the sectarian First Quartile around the idea that the cycle of life is a carousel, carousels are more fun if they go faster, and therefore we ought to send people around it as fast as possible.
+
Uriopoges' crowning achievement, the construction of Megameat the Doomgoblet4 [sic], was beset by resistance from orthodox and unorthodox Disquietists alike, which ultimately culminated in the Battle of Quillian Square5, where the Remigrationists were victorious despite heavy losses.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+2. Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+3. The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited
+
+4. Quadrant Cup
+
+5. Battle of Quillian Square
+
+
+
+
War of Civil Coherence
+
The War of Civil Coherence was a conflict primarily between
+hexadecisections1 of the First Quartile2 and everyone
+else. It is unclear exactly why the war began, but many contemporary scholars point to
+the escalation of a wide-ranging prank war instigated by the Order of the Black Ladder3
+against the emerging Remigrationist movement. Note that the label "War of Civil
+Coherence" is one insisted upon primarily by First Quartile scholars; among some
+Disquietist schools, it is known as "The Revolution pt. II," a reference to the
+Disquietist dogmatic teaching that all sequels are inevitably social and commercial
+failures.
+
The war proceeded according to the following pattern, at various scales. First, anti-
+Remigrationist forces would perform a prank or other offense in some area. Second, First
+Quartile military forces would move to that area and attempt to stamp out resistance.
+Without the benefit of World Transfer Agency4 logistical support, the resistance forces
+either fought (and died), or relocated to start the cycle anew.
+
Resistance forces were led by General Petrov van der Deathface5, who, during the war,
+acquired a reputation as an unparalleled tactical genius. Though unable to directly halt
+the First Quartile's advance, military historians have noted that he left them
+over-extended to the point where a handful of strategic strikes could have crippled their
+military machine. Did the grand strategist have a plan to win the war? Sadly, we may
+never know, as van der Deathface was killed by a stray bullet at the
+Battle of Quillian Square6 while attempting to bait a squad of Kindergarten Kops7
+into charging their First Quartile allies. Within weeks of his death, the First Quartile
+declared victory.
+
Sir Gareth, scholar-prince of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. Double-Eighth Hexadecisection
+
+2. First Quartile
+
+3. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+4. World Transfer Agency
+
+5. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+6. Battle of Quillian Square
+
+7. Kindergarten Kops
+
+
+
+
Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
The Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz is a slim volume of content
+compiled, edited, and self-published by Ignatius Clivowycz, a prominent Disquietist leader
+and citizen of the First Quartile1. Although presented as a compilation of his extant
+writings, scholars now believe that most of the documents were written specifically for
+this publication. For one, the flow and development of his arguments over the
+Collected Writings and Letters is suspiciously coherent for a collection of ostensibly
+unrelated content. For another, most of the letters are addressed to people who do not
+actually exist.
+
Though undoubtedly a vanity project—it is painfully evident that Clivowycz is trying
+rather too hard to seem wise—historians have found the Collected Writings and Letters
+to be an invaluable historical resource, as Clivowycz's rambling banality belies numerous
+pearls of insight into the political events in which he was involved. Most notable among
+these are his description of his founding of the
+Circle of Fifths2 and his eerily accurate
+prediction, not only of the Genocide of the Second Quartile3, but of the specific
+circumstances of his own death in the Genocide. Various commentators,
+Petrov van der Deathface4 among them, have observed that if Clivowycz knew he was going
+to die on his ill-fated trip to the Second Quartile, he could have chosen not go. Thus,
+they concluded, Clivowycz's death was probably faked to add an air of mystery to the
+Collected Writings and Letters.
+
Sir Gareth, scholar-prince of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. First Quartile
+
+2. The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited
+
+3. Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
+4. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+
+
+
Lega the Hamhanded
+
Following the Quartile Reformation, Legaria Porkins saw her rise to power as the
+first and current elected governor of the Third Quartile. If you've forgotten
+that the Third Quartile even exists, that's no accident. Under Porkins'
+leadership, the Third Quartile has remained absent from nearly all major Republic
+conflicts.
+
Porkins has taken a strictly neutral stance on Remigrationism, signing nonaggression
+pacts with Remigrationist leaders such as Uriopoges the Wiseass1 along with resistance
+leaders such as Petrov van der Deathface2. In her first address to the Republic
+after these pacts, she stated the Third Quartile would not participate in the conflict
+in order to devote more time and resources into foosball, the Quartile's national sport.
+
Porkins is known to participate in competitive kickboxing. Many claim she has used
+fist-enlarging drugs to get an edge against her rival, the Hand of Justice3 in
+the ring. This conspiracy, along with an unfortunately exploitable surname,
+has left her with the nickname Lega the Hamhanded. Her supporters deny
+all allegations, but have refused to comment when questioned with the fact that
+despite over 200 public broadcasts, Porkins' hands have never once appeared on
+camera. Coincidence? Just think about it.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+2. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+3. Hand of Justice
+
+
+
+
Quadrant Cup
+
What is the Quadrant Cup? Well, that's an easy one, sport. It's your one and only
+Social Responsibility™! At the end of the day, the hardworking men and women
+of the First Quartile deserve an affordable dinner they can depend on --
+and that's where you come in!
+
Close one eye, and wink into the twinkling eyes of Urion Opogester1. Now
+close 'em both and race headfirst intoMegameat's gaping maw, champ! You'll make
+Honorious Rightson2 proud!
+
You've had your sip of life, and now it's time for life to sip back. Oh, come on now... you wouldn't want to Megameat to summon the Kops3...
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+2. Honorius Rightson
+
+3. Kindergarten Kops
+
+
+
+
The WYZZYIRD
+
The Wavelength Yocto-Zig-Zag Yodel Infiltration/Relocation Division, or WYZZYIRD for short, is alleged to be a clandestine military unit operating out of the enigmatic Mystery District1 in the Third Quartile. While the scant evidence of their existence (mostly notes from the private journals of Her Quartness Quartilord Lega2) is disputed academically only in hushed tones, the WYZZYIRD remains a popular topic of urban legend.
+
The central narratives of the WYZZYIRD legends claim that its operatives use yodelling at absurdly high frequencies -- their titular "wavelength yocto-zig-zag yodel" -- in order to quantum tunnel through walls or across great distances in order to infiltrate their target's location, where they use their yodelling to suck their target through a wormhole to the dreaded Outlands3. Some allege that the WYZZYIRD is a division of the World Transfer Agency4, but as in all things WYZZYIRD, available facts are scant.
+
One of the most popular variations on the WYZZYIRD urban legend is the claim that Joculus the Red5 is one of their operatives. This tall tale is likely inspired by Joculus' boasts about his ability to hide a burrito in any fridge, even fridges unreachable to mortal men, combined with his unsettling track record of having never lied.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Mystery District
+
+2. Lega the Hamhanded
+
+3. The Outlands
+
+4. World Transfer Agency
+
+5. Joculus the Red
+
+
+
+
Chloroveritase
+
Chloroveritase is a substance exuded by gattling ducks1 during weapon discharge. Despite its humble origins as a byproduct of avian assault troops, chloroveritase has become an immensely important substance due to its curious ability to make things see-through. It sees use by the World Transfer Agency2 as a screening method, which has caused some controversy given that the see-through effect sometimes does not wear off, causing transferred persons grief when their clothes or skin is made permanently transparent.
+
Though Petrov van der Deathface3's eponymous condition is officially attributed by the resistance to WTA malice, no known WTA procedure applies chloroveritase only to the facial skin and muscle, and so despite the popular appeal of such stories, scholars generally consider it to have been self-inflicted for political reasons.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Gattling ducks
+
+2. World Transfer Agency
+
+3. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+
+
+
First Quartile
+
The First Quartile is one of four Quartiles that comprise the Risible Republic. It
+enjoys a somewhat advantaged position over the other three Quartiles in Republic politics.
+Analysts attribute this mostly to force projection abilities: the World Transfer Agency1,
+based primarily in the First Quartile, has shifted significantly pro-First Quartile in
+recent years. Due to the First Quartile's central position in the Republic, both
+geographically and politically, it has accumulated no small amount of cultural influence
+as well. This can be seen most prominently in the recent growth of Remigrationism in
+Disquietist circles.
+
The national deity of the First Quartile is Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter2. This
+state of affairs has caused no small amount of consternation among the other Quartiles,
+particularly over such phrases in Teramince's holy book as "Go forth among the infidels
+and harvest bloodily their precious, precious organs"—a command which the First Quartile
+administration officially claims is a metaphor. That said, some scholars have noted that
+the waitlist for organ donations is significantly shorter in the First Quartile, even
+after controlling for population and socio-economic status. The controversy is ongoing at
+the time of writing.
+
The First Quartile boasts its share of notable personages. These include such figures as
+spiritual leader Uriopoges the Wiseass3, noted as the founder of Remigrationism; the
+kickboxer known as the Hand of Justice4, who claims to be a prophet of Teramince; and
+Petrov van der Deathface5, despite his attempts to eradicate all traces of his past.
+
Ersatz Scrivener
+
+
Citations:
+1. World Transfer Agency
+
+2. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+3. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+4. Hand of Justice
+
+5. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+
+
+
Mystery District
+
In every map made of the Republic, on the far side of the Third Quartile, there
+is a small sector conspicuously missing. On some maps, you might see it labeled
+the Mystery District, though this is simply a name given to the region by
+fans of conspiracies surrounding it.
+
Due to massive walls bordering the district and an estimated 250 personnel on
+patrol around the perimeter, no one from outside the district has ever been
+inside. As such, absolutely nothing is known about its purpose. Conspirators
+have their theories, however:
+
- As the Mystery District lies on the outer boundary of the Republic, many have
+speculated ties to The Outlands1. Some believe The WYZZYIRD2 is involved
+in the district as well, but no one who has furthered this theory has ever
+been heard from again.
+
- Perhaps a more reasonable theory is that of resistance leader
+Petrov van der Deathface3, who believes the district to be the secret cult
+worshipping grounds of the Clown-God of Slaughter4.
+
- Third Quartile officials have assured the public that there is nothing suspicious
+going on in the district, but of course one should take these assurances with
+a grain of salt.
+
Three months ago, First Quartile5 leaders said they were preparing an
+investigation into the Mystery District, but no action has been taken by them
+since then.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. The Outlands
+
+2. The WYZZYIRD
+
+3. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+4. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+5. First Quartile
+
+
+
+
Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
According to canon, Teramince ascended over the former Clown-God of Slaughter,
+Gigamince, by baking him into a casserole of cosmic proportions and eating
+him to gain his power. Once a year, recalling her hilarious feast, Teramince's
+sanguine hunger waxes, and wanes only with a leviathan sip of the
+Quadrant Cup1.
+
On this occasion, Teramince takes physical form from the shadows cast by the
+Circus Moon2 in order to walk amidst mortals and record flavor notes for
+her annual people-tasting. Although unconfirmed by any written report, Uriopoges3 is fabled to have become her high priest after offering her a nibble of his index finger, whereupon she pronounced him "...a man of excellent taste and flavor."
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. Quadrant Cup
+
+2. Circus Moon
+
+3. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+
+
+
Doctrine of Imbalance
+
The Doctrine of Imbalance of Uriopoges the Wiseass is one of the so-called "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. It was unknown to Remigrationism scholarship until the recent discovery that the Five-Hundred Injunctions found in the Transactions1 spell out an acrostic message. This was likely overlooked for so long because of the marginal nature of the Transactions. Initial reactions were highly skeptical -- the Injunctions are hurried marginal notes, after all -- but the improbability has convinced the field that the Doctrine is legitimate and inspired a search for other hidden doctrines in Uriopoges' writings.
+
In relation to other Remigrationist doctrines, the Doctrine of Imbalance qualifies the idea of the cycle of life to suggest that the distribution of souls in the cycle is not even, but is heavily concentrated to one side. It does not figure largely into public Remigrationist discourse, leaving the question open as to how much significance it could possibly have and raising questions about why Uriopoges went to such lengths to hide it in the Transactions.
+
While the tall tales of the "secret doctrines" certainly add that je ne sais quoi to the otherwise revolting doctrines of Remigrationism, it is in my opinion an unprofitable avenue of Remigrationist scholarship that distracts from more pressing issues, such as Rightson's2 excellent recent essay on the proposals for a Reformed Remigrationism put forth by Joculus the Red3 in his latest essay-length graffiti on the walls of the Mystery District4.
+
Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
+
+
Citations:
+1. Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+2. Honorius Rightson
+
+3. Joculus the Red
+
+4. Mystery District
+
+
+
+
Honorius Rightson
+
The Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD is a prominent scholar of
+Disquietist history and culture. His early life was spent in the Third Quartile, but he
+soon moved to the University of Haven Rock in the First Quartile1 to pursue a career in
+scholarship. He received the degree of Practitioner of the Rock for his thesis,
+"The Implications of Grammatical Irregularities in Opogester's2
+Transactions3." After
+only three years of apprenticeship, he claimed the title of Wise Knower of Doctrine in
+the traditional way (that is, besting his former mentor in single combat and seizing his
+mentor's title), thereby gaining full professership.
+
Rightson's scholarly work of late has focused on Remigrationism as a cultural force,
+particularly with respect to its impact on Disquietism. Of particular note is his work
+with Jay Gubbins, the self-proclaimed prophet of
+Teramince4 and self-styled Hand of Justice5.
+Although Rightson's research was able to provide valuable insight into Remigrationism,
+Gubbins's instability led him to believe that Rightson was Teramince himself.
+Because of Gubbins's influence in Remigrationist circles, it is not unusual for them to
+think Rightson is their god6 in disguise, and he is often invoked in the rites
+surrounding the Quadrant Cup7.
+
In honor of the sacrifices he has made in the line of his scholarly duties, this
+Encyclopedia is dedicated to him.
+
Lord Gareth, scholar-tyrant of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. First Quartile
+
+2. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+3. Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+4. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+5. Hand of Justice
+
+6. God
+
+7. Quadrant Cup
+
+
+
+
Petrov van der Deathface
+
Okay, we get it. Deathface allegedly single-handedly wiped out no less than
+twenty two Kops1 in the Battle of Quillian Square2. Deathface
+has a kill count greater than every other First Quartile3 soldier's, combined.
+We get it, Deathface was a legendary war hero. The glory of his mustache rivaled
+that of Mustachius, the highest of the mustache dieties. But have you ever stopped
+to think about how ridiculous those stories are? One single man, accomplishing all
+Deathface did in his tragically short-lived life? It's preposterous! The man named
+Petrov van der Deathface is nothing but a sham, a marketing ploy to sell
+more t-shirts!
+
Not convinced? Then perhaps consider the fact that Deathface does not have a face.
+Everyone knows that real people have faces. Therefore, Petrov van der Deathface
+is not a real person. Q. E. Motherfucking. D.
+
Grab a copy of the Doctrine of Imbalance4 from your local library and give it
+a read. It explicitly states in there that Deathface is but a myth. Or something
+similar, anyways. Point is, you've all been had! Open your eyes and don't give
+into this scam!
+
~ Ersatz Scrivener
+
+
Citations:
+1. Kindergarten Kops
+
+2. Battle of Quillian Square
+
+3. First Quartile
+
+4. Doctrine of Imbalance
+
+
+
+
Westexico
+
Westexico is a province on the other side of First Quartile1 that serves as
+God2's burrito orchard. While it is generally respected that God3's
+burrito recipe is simply divine, few other sentient entities have the
+sophisticated resources or knowledge necessary to construct a suitable tree to
+produce them, like God4 intended.
+
Because of the logistical problems presented by tunnelling to the other side
+of the continent, burritos are a very scare resource. This scarcity makes them a
+natural choice for currency in the four Quartiles, accepted anywhere in the Quartiles following the
+Penultimate Compact5. Their use as currency has a few peculiar consequences -- first,
+that price of a burrito is as unchanging as God6 himself; and second, that one's want for
+money grows proportionally with their hunger.
+
Some conjecture that The WYZZYIRD7, if it exists, is naught but a get-rich-quick scheme
+with the eventual goal of exfiltrating God8's entire Westexican Reserve, ordinarily shared
+only with his elect. Similarly, there exist rumors of the Hand of Justice9 plotting a
+similar heist.
+
Konrade Krunch
+
+
Citations:
+1. First Quartile
+
+2. God
+
+3. God
+
+4. God
+
+5. Penultimate Compact
+
+6. God
+
+7. The WYZZYIRD
+
+8. God
+
+9. Hand of Justice
+
+
+
+
Circus Moon
+
In Disquietist folk tales, the "Circus Moon" heralds the arrival of Teramince1 to the physical world. According to other myths, the light reflected from the moon itself is (by means curiously unspecified) sufficient to provide a form for Teramince's body. Accounts of the Circus Moon's appearance vary greatly, but commonly speak of a "stretching" or "warping", as if by a funhouse mirror. According to legend, its appearence is usually accompanied by corvids emitting the occasional "Wilhelm Scream."
+
Because no photographs exist of the Circus Moon and that no physical explanation has been offered for its appearance, it is clear that the Circus Moon is little more than a Disquietist fiction. Nonetheless, the tales appear to influence a great number of Disquietist traditions: even the Order of the Black Ladder2 will quickly assemble for an impromptu barbequeue in the event of a supposed sighting.
+
Ersatz Scrivener
+
+
Citations:
+1. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+2. Order of the Black Ladder
+
+
+
+
Hand of Justice
+
My dear Jay,
+
I hope this letter finds you well as you prepare for the Thirteenth Annual Quadrant Cup1 next month. Unfortunately, I must turn down your speaking request; my research is too pressing at this juncture to engage the week-long ceremonies of the Cup and prepare a lecture for the occasion.
+
I assume you have already read, or otherwise know about, my recent papers on the "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. Though I cannot take your offer of a speaking engagement, if you have an afternoon to spare from your unending dispute with Ms Legaria2, I should be ever so greatful to discuss the recent discoveries with you. We may be much closer than anticipated to uncovering what old Urion, God3 rest his soul, knew about the Genocide of the Second Quartile4 prior to its occurrence. I have some theories I am eager to share about his relation to Clivowycz5.
+
Please send your response to me by letter this time. I have told you several times already: I am not Teramince6. I will not receive your response if you send it via prayer, nor will I be aware of its contents if you attach it to a carrier pigeon and toss it into a meat grinder like you did last time.
+
Your friend,
+
Honorious Rightson, Esq.
+
+
Citations:
+1. Quadrant Cup
+
+2. Lega the Hamhanded
+
+3. God
+
+4. Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
+5. Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
+6. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+
+
+
The Jocular Revolution
+
The Jocular Revolution1 is the name being used for the sudden upheaval of the past
+few days. Joculus the Red2 has apparently returned, leading operatives who some claim are
+The WYZZYIRD3, to overthrow Megameat the Doomgoblet [sic] and restore balance to
+the Quartiles. I've seen reports that Petrov van der Deathface4 is among them.
+Uriopoges the Wiseass5 has apparently been slain in combat, and
+Teramince6 manifested only to be yodeled into
+The Outlands7. Information is currently vague, hard to come by, and contradictory, but
+if even a fraction of these reports are true, the very course of history is changing as I
+pen these words.
+
May a brighter future await us.
+
Lord Gareth, scholar-tyrant of Haven Rock
+
+
Citations:
+1. The Jocular Revolution
+
+2. Joculus the Red
+
+3. The WYZZYIRD
+
+4. Petrov van der Deathface
+
+5. Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+6. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+7. The Outlands
+
+
+
+
Trek and Remigration of the Antifestivites
+
Among those who believe in remigrationism are the Antifestivities, a
+less-extreme group known for their condemnation of practices encouraged by
+Joculus the Red1. Although they insist that they're "nothing like those
+idiots," leveraging the fact that they do not worship the
+Clown-God2, they are usually lumped together
+with the rest of the Disquietists.
+
The Antifestivities participate in the ongoing remigration, but where are they
+migrating to? Some believe they are preparing to take back their homeland, a party
+store in the southern parts of the First Quartile3 which used to serve as their
+office headquarters before the Quartile Reformation. Their name, the Antifestivities,
+is misleading; many people mistakenly believe they are against festivities in general.
+In reality, though, items such as beer, tortilla chips, and pizza delivery coupons
+account for over half of what they take with them on their journeys.
+
~ Khan, Alexandra
+
+
Citations:
+1. Joculus the Red
+
+2. Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+3. First Quartile
+
+
+
+
Gattling ducks
+
This entry hasn't been written yet.
+
+
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/rules/index.html b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/rules/index.html
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..5897d5c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/rules/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,53 @@
+
+
+Rules | Lexicon Alpha
+
+
+
+
+
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Rules
+
+
At the beginning of the game, you will be provided with a topic statement that sets the tone for the game. Use it for inspiration and a stepping-stone into shaping the world of the Lexicon.
+
Each round, you will be assigned an index, a grouping of letters. Your entry must alphabetize under that index.
+
Each index has a number of open slots equal to the number of players, which are taken up by article titles when an article is written in that index or a citation is made to an unwritten article, or phantom. If there are no open slots in your index, you must write the article for a phantom in that index.
+
"The" and "A" aren't counted in indexing.
+
Once you've picked an article title, write your article on that subject.
+
There are no hard and fast rules about style. Try to sound like an encyclopedia entry or the overview section at the top of a wiki article.
+
You must respect and not contradict any factual content of any posted articles. You may introduce new facts that place things in a new light, provide alternative interpretations, or flesh out unexplained details in unexpected ways; but you must not contradict what has been previously established as fact.
+
Aim for around 200-300 words. Going over is okay, but be reasonable.
+
Your article must cite other articles in the Lexicon. Sometimes these citations will be to phantoms, articles that have not been written yet.
+
On the first turn, your article must cite exactly two phantom articles.
+
On subsequent turns, your article must cite exactly two phantom articles, either already-cited phantoms or new ones. Your article must also cite at least one written article.
+
On the penultimate turn, you must cite exactly one phantom article and at least two written articles.
+
On the final turn, you must cite at least three written articles.
+
You may not cite an entry you wrote. You may cite phantoms you have cited before.
+
Once you cite a phantom, you cannot choose to write it if you write an article for that index later.
+
+
Ersatz Scrivener. In the course of the game, it may come to pass that a scholar is assigned an index in which no slots are available to them, because they have cited all the available phantoms in their previous articles. When this happens, the player instead writes their article as Ersatz Scrivener, radical skeptic. Ersatz does not believe in the existence of whatever he is writing about, no matter how obvious it seems to others or how central it is in the developing history of the world. All references, testimony, etc. with regard to its existence are tragic delusion at best or malicious lies at worst. Unlike the other scholars, Ersatz does not treat the research of his peers as fact, because he does not believe he has peers. Players writing articles as Ersatz are encouraged to name and shame the work of the misguided amateurs collaborating with him.
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Lexicon Alpha
+
Lexicon Alpha was played March 11 - 19, 2017.
+
+
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Battle_of_Quillian_Square.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Battle_of_Quillian_Square.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..45aeda7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Battle_of_Quillian_Square.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,36 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 2
+# Title: Battle of Quillian Square
+
+Quillian Square: birthplace of the "Sloppy Joe" and hometown of military
+general Septimus the Eighth. Now a destitute nuclear wasteland, thanks to some
+kids and a personal grudge. Since I don't get paid enough to cover any of the
+important battles, I'll take the opportunity to set the facts straight on what
+did and did not happen in the Battle of Quillian Square.
+
+**What happened?**
+
+• The square was ransacked by a group of mechanized infants known as the [[Kindergarten Kops]].
+It is unclear what the motive was behind the attack, but expert witness
+"Sloppy" Joe believes it was a pitiful attempt to challenge
+the monopoly of the Sloppy Joe on the sandwich market.
+
+• The Battle of Quillian Square featured the first, and only, ever recorded use of
+[[gattling ducks|Gattling ducks]] in military warfare.
+
+**What did not happen?**
+
+• First Quartile military control was //not// reduced in Quillian Square or any
+surrounding area as a result of the battle.
+
+• Radiation from the battle has //not// had any affect on the nutritional value of
+Sloppy Joes.
+
+The Battle of Quillian Square saw a great, thriving town reduced to rubble and
+ruins, although sources suggest you can still purchase a Sloppy Joe from
+Sloppy Joe's, only 5.99!
+
+//This article was not sponsored in any way by Sloppy Joe's Sloppy Joe sandwiches, the official//
+//sandwich of the 13th annual [[Quadrant Cup]].//
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Chloroveritase.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Chloroveritase.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2324f19
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Chloroveritase.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 6
+# Title: Chloroveritase
+
+**Chloroveritase** is a substance exuded by [[gattling ducks|Gattling ducks]] during weapon discharge. Despite its humble origins as a byproduct of avian assault troops, chloroveritase has become an immensely important substance due to its curious ability to make things see-through. It sees use by the [[World Transfer Agency]] as a screening method, which has caused some controversy given that the see-through effect sometimes does not wear off, causing transferred persons grief when their clothes or skin is made permanently transparent.
+
+Though [[Petrov van der Deathface]]'s eponymous condition is officially attributed by the resistance to WTA malice, no known WTA procedure applies chloroveritase only to the facial skin and muscle, and so despite the popular appeal of such stories, scholars generally consider it to have been self-inflicted for political reasons.
+
+~ Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Collected-Writings-Letters.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Collected-Writings-Letters.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..198b4b0
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Collected-Writings-Letters.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 5
+# Title: Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz
+
+The **Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz** is a slim volume of content
+compiled, edited, and self-published by Ignatius Clivowycz, a prominent Disquietist leader
+and citizen of the [[First Quartile]]. Although presented as a compilation of his extant
+writings, scholars now believe that most of the documents were written specifically for
+this publication. For one, the flow and development of his arguments over the
+//Collected Writings and Letters// is suspiciously coherent for a collection of ostensibly
+unrelated content. For another, most of the letters are addressed to people who do not
+actually exist.
+
+Though undoubtedly a vanity project—it is painfully evident that Clivowycz is trying
+rather too hard to seem wise—historians have found the //Collected Writings and Letters//
+to be an invaluable historical resource, as Clivowycz's rambling banality belies numerous
+pearls of insight into the political events in which he was involved. Most notable among
+these are his description of his founding of the
+[[Circle of Fifths|The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited]] and his eerily accurate
+prediction, not only of the [[Genocide of the Second Quartile]], but of the specific
+circumstances of his own death in the Genocide. Various commentators,
+[[Petrov van der Deathface]] among them, have observed that if Clivowycz knew he was going
+to die on his ill-fated trip to the Second Quartile, he could have chosen not go. Thus,
+they concluded, Clivowycz's death was probably faked to add an air of mystery to the
+//Collected Writings and Letters//.
+
+~ Sir Gareth, scholar-prince of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Doctrine of Imbalance.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Doctrine of Imbalance.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..9fc0b5d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Doctrine of Imbalance.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 7
+# Title: Doctrine of Imbalance
+
+The **Doctrine of Imbalance** of Uriopoges the Wiseass is one of the so-called "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. It was unknown to Remigrationism scholarship until the recent discovery that the Five-Hundred Injunctions found in the [[//Transactions//|Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5]] spell out an acrostic message. This was likely overlooked for so long because of the marginal nature of the //Transactions//. Initial reactions were highly skeptical -- the Injunctions are hurried marginal notes, after all -- but the improbability has convinced the field that the Doctrine is legitimate and inspired a search for other hidden doctrines in Uriopoges' writings.
+
+In relation to other Remigrationist doctrines, the Doctrine of Imbalance qualifies the idea of the cycle of life to suggest that the distribution of souls in the cycle is not even, but is heavily concentrated to one side. It does not figure largely into public Remigrationist discourse, leaving the question open as to how much significance it could possibly have and raising questions about why Uriopoges went to such lengths to hide it in the //Transactions//.
+
+While the tall tales of the "secret doctrines" certainly add that //je ne sais quoi// to the otherwise revolting doctrines of Remigrationism, it is in my opinion an unprofitable avenue of Remigrationist scholarship that distracts from more pressing issues, such as [[Rightson's|Honorius Rightson]] excellent recent essay on the proposals for a Reformed Remigrationism put forth by [[Joculus the Red]] in his latest essay-length graffiti on the walls of the [[Mystery District]].
+
+~ Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Double-Eighth_Hexadecisection.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Double-Eighth_Hexadecisection.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..0b4be5d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Double-Eighth_Hexadecisection.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,22 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 3
+# Title: Double-Eighth Hexadecisection
+
+To some, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was a godsend. No longer were there
+single big governments ruling over each of the four quartiles, but rather
+four smaller governments in place of each original. Some argue that without this
+dramatic shift, we would never have seen the fall of the infamous [[Joculus the Red]].
+
+To others, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection was the single worst piece of
+legislation in the history of the quartiles since the [[Penultimate Compact]].
+Originally, there was simplicity, a harmony of four governments working together
+for the benefit of all. Now, there is chaos, a political frenzy that has rendered
+the legislative process obsolete. Initially, some argued that the newly-created
+factions such as the [[Circle of Fifths|The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited]]
+were radical and unorthodox. For reasons unknown, the voices of opposition have
+grown quieter over the years.
+
+And to a select few, the Double-Eighth Hexadecisection remains one of many
+phrases impossible to say correctly on the first try.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/First Quartile.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/First Quartile.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ee7b15a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/First Quartile.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 6
+# Title: First Quartile
+
+The **First Quartile** is one of four Quartiles that comprise the Risible Republic. It
+enjoys a somewhat advantaged position over the other three Quartiles in Republic politics.
+Analysts attribute this mostly to force projection abilities: the [[World Transfer Agency]],
+based primarily in the First Quartile, has shifted significantly pro-First Quartile in
+recent years. Due to the First Quartile's central position in the Republic, both
+geographically and politically, it has accumulated no small amount of cultural influence
+as well. This can be seen most prominently in the recent growth of Remigrationism in
+Disquietist circles.
+
+The national deity of the First Quartile is [[Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]]. This
+state of affairs has caused no small amount of consternation among the other Quartiles,
+particularly over such phrases in Teramince's holy book as "Go forth among the infidels
+and harvest bloodily their precious, precious organs"—a command which the First Quartile
+administration officially claims is a metaphor. That said, some scholars have noted that
+the waitlist for organ donations is significantly shorter in the First Quartile, even
+after controlling for population and socio-economic status. The controversy is ongoing at
+the time of writing.
+
+The First Quartile boasts its share of notable personages. These include such figures as
+spiritual leader [[Uriopoges the Wiseass]], noted as the founder of Remigrationism; the
+kickboxer known as the [[Hand of Justice]], who claims to be a prophet of Teramince; and
+[[Petrov van der Deathface]], despite his attempts to eradicate all traces of his past.
+
+~ Ersatz Scrivener
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/God.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/God.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..dc3f37e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/God.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 4
+# Title: God
+
+A being known by all and agreed upon by none. Most widely known for his holy text,
+the Rules page. While scholars previously believed God to be largely absent from
+the workings of the world, new evidence points to his involvement in many key
+events in recent times.
+
+In the aftermath of the [[Genocide of the Second Quartile]], graffiti has been
+seen on various buildings with messages such as "God was here." It is
+unclear whether God had a direct influence on the massacre, or if this is
+just another attempt by [[Joculus the Red]] to get revenge on God for stealing
+his burrito from the office fridge.
+
+God's allegiance has been debated, though evidence suggests he may lean slightly
+toward Disquietism. "The First Quartile has most of the resources and power," stated
+God, when questioned about the subject, "and the Disquietists, and the Order of
+the Black Ladder in particular, are resisting them."
+
+God has been cited numerous times as the divine inspiration for such radical works
+as [[Uriopoges|Uriopoges the Wiseass]]' [[Doctrine of Imbalance]], though he continues
+to remain silent on these issues.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Hand of Justice.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Hand of Justice.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..fb62f86
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Hand of Justice.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 8
+# Title: Hand of Justice
+
+My dear Jay,
+
+I hope this letter finds you well as you prepare for the Thirteenth Annual [[Quadrant Cup]] next month. Unfortunately, I must turn down your speaking request; my research is too pressing at this juncture to engage the week-long ceremonies of the Cup and prepare a lecture for the occasion.
+
+I assume you have already read, or otherwise know about, my recent papers on the "secret doctrines" of Remigrationism. Though I cannot take your offer of a speaking engagement, if you have an afternoon to spare from your unending dispute with [[Ms Legaria|Lega the Hamhanded]], I should be ever so greatful to discuss the recent discoveries with you. We may be much closer than anticipated to uncovering what old Urion, [[God]] rest his soul, knew about the [[Genocide of the Second Quartile]] prior to its occurrence. I have some theories I am eager to share about his relation to [[Clivowycz|Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz]].
+
+Please send your response to me by letter this time. I have told you several times already: I am not [[Teramince|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]]. I will not receive your response if you send it via prayer, nor will I be aware of its contents if you attach it to a carrier pigeon and toss it into a meat grinder like you did last time.
+
+Your friend,
+
+~ Honorious Rightson, Esq.
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Honorius-Rightson.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Honorius-Rightson.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a3020f8
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Honorius-Rightson.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,28 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 7
+# Title: Honorius Rightson
+
+The **Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD** is a prominent scholar of
+Disquietist history and culture. His early life was spent in the Third Quartile, but he
+soon moved to the University of Haven Rock in the [[First Quartile]] to pursue a career in
+scholarship. He received the degree of Practitioner of the Rock for his thesis,
+"The Implications of Grammatical Irregularities in [[Opogester's|Uriopoges the Wiseass]]
+[[//Transactions//|Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5]]." After
+only three years of apprenticeship, he claimed the title of Wise Knower of Doctrine in
+the traditional way (that is, besting his former mentor in single combat and seizing his
+mentor's title), thereby gaining full professership.
+
+Rightson's scholarly work of late has focused on Remigrationism as a cultural force,
+particularly with respect to its impact on Disquietism. Of particular note is his work
+with Jay Gubbins, the self-proclaimed prophet of
+[[Teramince|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]] and self-styled [[Hand of Justice]].
+Although Rightson's research was able to provide valuable insight into Remigrationism,
+Gubbins's instability led him to believe that Rightson was Teramince himself.
+Because of Gubbins's influence in Remigrationist circles, it is not unusual for them to
+think Rightson is their [[god|God]] in disguise, and he is often invoked in the rites
+surrounding the [[Quadrant Cup]].
+
+In honor of the sacrifices he has made in the line of his scholarly duties, this
+Encyclopedia is dedicated to him.
+
+~ Lord Gareth, scholar-tyrant of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Jocular-Revolution.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Jocular-Revolution.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..ed90449
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Jocular-Revolution.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 8
+# Title: The Jocular Revolution
+
+The [[Jocular Revolution|The Jocular Revolution]] is the name being used for the sudden upheaval of the past
+few days. [[Joculus the Red]] has apparently returned, leading operatives who some claim are
+[[The WYZZYIRD]], to overthrow **Megameat the Doomgoblet** [sic] and restore balance to
+the Quartiles. I've seen reports that [[Petrov van der Deathface]] is among them.
+[[Uriopoges the Wiseass]] has apparently been slain in combat, and
+[[Teramince|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]] manifested only to be yodeled into
+[[The Outlands]]. Information is currently vague, hard to come by, and contradictory, but
+if even a fraction of these reports are true, the very course of history is changing as I
+pen these words.
+
+May a brighter future await us.
+
+~ Lord Gareth, scholar-tyrant of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Kindergarten Kops.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Kindergarten Kops.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..95dc29d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Kindergarten Kops.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,21 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: Kindergarten Kops
+
+The paramilitary force known as the **Kindergerten Kops** was a brutal enforcement mechanism of
+the Fourth Quartile. With all the power of a mechanized mercenary army and all the diplomatic
+skill of a class of kindergarteners, the mech-piloting toddlers of the Kops painted a bloody
+swath across the chaos of the Reformation.
+
+Full specifications of the Kops' armored chassis were never released to the public, but redacted
+documents detail military-grade armor protecting critical sections such as joints and the
+toddler pilot. Accounts of Kop raids recount several weapon types, including tear gas grenade
+launchers, flamethrowers, gatling guns, and heavy artillery. Reports indicate that their weapons
+were grafted to the chassis' arms, so it is likely that there were several distinct roles within the
+Kindergarten Kops that specialized chassis were designed for.
+
+Eyewitness testimony reports that Kindergarten Kops led the charge at the [[Battle of Quillian Square]]
+that broke the resistance lines and resulted in the deaths of several opposition leaders, including
+[[Petrov van der Deathface]].
+
+~ Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Lega_the_Hamhanded.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Lega_the_Hamhanded.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..feac6b1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Lega_the_Hamhanded.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,25 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 5
+# Title: Lega the Hamhanded
+
+Following the Quartile Reformation, **Legaria Porkins** saw her rise to power as the
+first and current **elected governor of the Third Quartile**. If you've forgotten
+that the Third Quartile even exists, that's no accident. Under Porkins'
+leadership, the Third Quartile has remained absent from nearly all major Republic
+conflicts.
+
+Porkins has taken a strictly neutral stance on Remigrationism, signing nonaggression
+pacts with Remigrationist leaders such as [[Uriopoges the Wiseass]] along with resistance
+leaders such as [[Petrov van der Deathface]]. In her first address to the Republic
+after these pacts, she stated the Third Quartile would not participate in the conflict
+in order to devote more time and resources into foosball, the Quartile's national sport.
+
+Porkins is known to participate in competitive kickboxing. Many claim she has used
+fist-enlarging drugs to get an edge against her rival, the [[Hand of Justice]] in
+the ring. This conspiracy, along with an unfortunately exploitable surname,
+has left her with the nickname **Lega the Hamhanded**. Her supporters deny
+all allegations, but have refused to comment when questioned with the fact that
+despite over 200 public broadcasts, Porkins' hands have //never once appeared on
+camera//. Coincidence? Just think about it.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Mystery_District.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Mystery_District.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6969b8d
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Mystery_District.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,32 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 6
+# Title: Mystery District
+
+In every map made of the Republic, on the far side of the Third Quartile, there
+is a small sector conspicuously missing. On some maps, you might see it labeled
+the **Mystery District**, though this is simply a name given to the region by
+fans of conspiracies surrounding it.
+
+Due to massive walls bordering the district and an estimated 250 personnel on
+patrol around the perimeter, no one from outside the district has ever been
+inside. As such, absolutely nothing is known about its purpose. Conspirators
+have their theories, however:
+
+- As the Mystery District lies on the outer boundary of the Republic, many have
+speculated ties to [[The Outlands]]. Some believe [[The WYZZYIRD]] is involved
+in the district as well, but no one who has furthered this theory has ever
+been heard from again.
+
+- Perhaps a more reasonable theory is that of resistance leader
+[[Petrov van der Deathface]], who believes the district to be the secret cult
+worshipping grounds of the [[Clown-God of Slaughter|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]].
+
+- Third Quartile officials have assured the public that there is nothing suspicious
+going on in the district, but of course one should take these assurances with
+a grain of salt.
+
+Three months ago, [[First Quartile]] leaders said they were preparing an
+investigation into the Mystery District, but no action has been taken by them
+since then.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Nose Ceremony.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Nose Ceremony.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2115fcd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Nose Ceremony.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: Nose Ceremony
+
+A Nose Ceremony is a rite of passage among the Disquietists. Young acolytes complete a series of three trials, at the end of which they are presented with a red rubber false nose. Their acceptance of the nose signifies their progression to the full status of clownhood. The exact details of the trials depend on the traditions and strictures of the Disquietist school, but typically the acolytes will face a trial of slapstick, a trial of stand-up comedy, and a trial in which they unsettle as many people as they can within a set time period.
+
+Where Nose Ceremonies had traditionally been more freeform, recent years have seen a shift towards greater control by the acolyte's school. This can be traced to the infamous actions of [[Joculus the Red]], who, during his Nose Ceremony, murdered eighty people with nothing but an oversized shoe and a cream pie. In the outrage surrounding the massacre, Disquietist schools were forced to take measures to assure the public such an event would not occur again. A notable exception is the [[Order of the Black Ladder]], who, true to form, continue to respond to any and all complaints by filling the complainer's room with googly eyes while they sleep.
+
+~ Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Order of the Black Ladder.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Order of the Black Ladder.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3cacd2f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Order of the Black Ladder.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 2
+# Title: Order of the Black Ladder
+
+The **Order of the Black Ladder** is an illustrious Disquietist school and quite possibly the most unorthodox. Despite pressure from the Circle of Fifths, the Order has maintained its status as the most unpredictable of the post-Reformation schools. Recent work by cryptoarchaeologists has unearthed evidence that Order meddling was responsible for the prank war whose escalation eventually resulted in the [[Battle of Quillian Square]], making them the second-deadliest Disquietist school by body count.
+
+Black Ladder unorthodoxy has resulted in a number of bitter feuds with the more traditional Disquietists that control the Circle. One notable example is their stance on the [[World Transfer Agency]]: while traditional Disquietism has variously opposed or abetted the WTA, Black Ladder acolytes tend to view it with indifference, going so far as to gain employment in it only to abuse their security credentials for pranks. This and other conflicts characterize the Order's relationship to Disquietism at large (virtually all of the Injunctions found in [[Volume 5 of the //Transactions//|Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5]] are against Order practices).
+
+~ Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Penultimate Compact.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Penultimate Compact.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..f3b9481
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Penultimate Compact.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 2
+# Title: Penultimate Compact
+
+The **Penultimate Compact** was a civil and religious agreement which marked the founding of the Risible Republic. It divided the Republic's terrain into several semi-autonomous administrative regions, with each region optimized for a specific economic activity. It was originally known as the "Ultimate Compact," reflecting the contemporaneous belief that the Compact would result in a perfect society with no further need for change. However, the initial design of the Republic resulted in an outbreak of sectarianism, which culminated in the Quartile Reformation and the utter destruction of all but four of the Republic's administrative regions. The first use of the name "Penultimate Compact" was by [[Lega the Hamhanded]] in her inaugural address.
+
+Certain features of the original Compact have persisted to the current day. Most obviously are the Quartiles, the four surviving remnants of the original administrative regions. The post-Reformation Compact also preserved the [[World Transfer Agency]], in order to secure the Republic's ability to transport personnel and materials across the radioactive wastes of former regions. The WTA was originally distributed across the Republic, but post-Reformation, the bulk of its assets were concentrated in the [[First Quartile]].
+
+~ Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Petrov_van_der_Deathface.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Petrov_van_der_Deathface.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1aca72c
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Petrov_van_der_Deathface.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,24 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 7
+# Title: Petrov van der Deathface
+
+Okay, we get it. Deathface //allegedly// single-handedly wiped out no less than
+twenty two [[Kops|Kindergarten Kops]] in the [[Battle of Quillian Square]]. Deathface
+has a kill count greater than every other [[First Quartile]] soldier's, combined.
+We get it, Deathface was a legendary war hero. The glory of his mustache rivaled
+that of Mustachius, the highest of the mustache dieties. But have you ever stopped
+to think about how ridiculous those stories are? One single man, accomplishing all
+Deathface did in his tragically short-lived life? It's preposterous! The man named
+**Petrov van der Deathface** is nothing but a //sham//, a marketing ploy to sell
+more t-shirts!
+
+Not convinced? Then perhaps consider the fact that Deathface does not have a face.
+Everyone knows that real people have faces. Therefore, Petrov van der Deathface
+is not a real person. Q. E. Motherfucking. D.
+
+Grab a copy of the [[Doctrine of Imbalance]] from your local library and give it
+a read. It explicitly states in there that Deathface is but a myth. Or something
+similar, anyways. Point is, you've all been had! Open your eyes and don't give
+into this scam!
+
+~~ Ersatz Scrivener
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Strontz-Mork Fish Trials.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Strontz-Mork Fish Trials.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4fe271f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Strontz-Mork Fish Trials.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 3
+# Title: Strontz-Mork Fish Trials
+
+The so-called **Strontz-Mork Fish Trials** were a series of high-profile show trials institaged by enemies of the Disquietists within the Remigrationist camp. The Fish Trials resulted in the house arrests and subsequent political assassinations of [[prominent Disquietist leaders|Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz]], which were variously blamed on other causes of death. Their characteristic name comes from the inexplicably successful defense, now known as the "Strontz-Mork Defense", that pointed to the victims' dead pet fish as evidence that the deaths had not been assassinations.
+
+While the precise political motive for the Fish Trials remains unknown, "Sloppy Joe", the mysterious benefactor of the Remigrationist-affiliated annual ritual blood sacrifice known as the [[Quadrant Cup]] -- a euphemism for the massive cup situated between the four Quartiles whose true name is **Megameat the Doomgoblet** [sic] -- has generally been blamed in recent scholarly review of the topic. After all, the method of assassination matches the previous [[Second Quartile Genocide|Genocide of the Second Quartile]], which is known to have been started by "Sloppy Joe" in retalitation for the sharp drop in attendence caused by Disquietist fanfiction that made fun of the idea of grinding victims into mincemeat and selling them as sandwiches.
+
+~Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/TheOutlands.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/TheOutlands.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6ecf0c7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/TheOutlands.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,27 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 4
+# Title: The Outlands
+
+Far past the edges of the quartiles, three blocks down from the neighborhood of
+infinity, the Outlands are rumored to stretch. Those who the Outlands took,
+the Outlands took forever.
+
+Leaving the Outlands poses a considerable challenge. All the landscapes are
+filmed in portrait. You can only turn left. The ping times are abysmal, and the
+sun keeps burning out. Some wonder, licking bitter dew from the leaves of the
+refutrees for sustenance, but they'll never leave.
+
+//Staying// in the Outlands is no better. The lice are the size of shoes and the
+only mixed drinks are rum and coke. As a courtesy to the wayward prisoner,
+there is the occasional quantity of maple syrup, but only enough to make one's
+sleeve sticky.
+
+It is unclear who takes people to the Outlands, but the daring few who would
+posit a guess universally blame the [[WYZZYIRD|The WYZZYIRD]] or the [[World Transfer Agency]].
+(These bold souls are not often heard from again.)
+
+Some suggest that the Outlands are an elaborate joke executed by
+the [[Order of the Black Ladder]]. Would that we knew the punchline.
+Wouldn't that we ever see it firsthand.
+
+~Konrade Krunch
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Transactions.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Transactions.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..78780b2
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Transactions.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,29 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 3
+# Title: Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+The **Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly**, known more concisely as the
+**Transactions**, are a set of volumes detailing the running expenses of the
+Clamorous Convosembly. The vast majority of these volumes are of minimal historical
+interest, detailing such mundane matters as catering costs and reimbursements for prank
+supplies (this last to be expected from any institutionalized gathering of Disquietists).
+However, Volume 5 of the //Transactions// has taken on disproportionate significance
+among historians. Volume 5 was compiled during the [[Uriopoges the Wiseass]]'s tragically
+short-lived tenure as Convosembly treasurer and member of the Circle of Fifths.
+
+Uriopoges, who is recognized mostly for his role as the founder of Remigrationism, had a
+habit of making comments in the margins of the //Transactions//, ranging from insults
+about other Convosembly members, to commentary on the proceedings, to moral statements
+that foreshadow his later teachings. Contemporary scholars have focused particularly on
+what have been termed his "Five-Hundred Injunctions," which mostly rage against the
+practices of the [[Order of the Black Ladder]]. However, when constructing their
+interpretations, these scholars tend to ignore that the Injunctions were written alongside
+a truly epic list of prank reimbursements to Hisaguru the Silent, then-current head of the
+Order. It should require only elementary reasoning to understand what might have made
+Uriopoges so angry about this particular set of pranks.
+
+Unfortunately, emphasis on the Injunctions has served to draw attention away from other
+teachings first elucidated in the //Transactions//, such as his [[Doctrine of Imbalance]]
+and the Parable of the Bird Thief.
+
+~ Sir Gareth, scholar-general of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Trek_and_Remigration_of_the_Antifestivites.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Trek_and_Remigration_of_the_Antifestivites.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..6591b16
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Trek_and_Remigration_of_the_Antifestivites.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,20 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 8
+# Title: Trek and Remigration of the Antifestivites
+
+Among those who believe in remigrationism are the **Antifestivities**, a
+less-extreme group known for their condemnation of practices encouraged by
+[[Joculus the Red]]. Although they insist that they're "nothing like those
+idiots," leveraging the fact that they do not worship the
+[[Clown-God|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]], they are usually lumped together
+with the rest of the Disquietists.
+
+The Antifestivities participate in the ongoing remigration, but where are they
+migrating to? Some believe they are preparing to take back their homeland, a party
+store in the southern parts of the [[First Quartile]] which used to serve as their
+office headquarters before the Quartile Reformation. Their name, the //Antifestivities//,
+is misleading; many people mistakenly believe they are against festivities in general.
+In reality, though, items such as beer, tortilla chips, and pizza delivery coupons
+account for over half of what they take with them on their journeys.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Uriopoges the Wiseass.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Uriopoges the Wiseass.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..424de9f
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/Uriopoges the Wiseass.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,13 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 4
+# Title: Uriopoges the Wiseass
+
+Few figures in the history of the Risible Republic can claim to have as much influence as **Urion Opogester**, the founder of Remigrationism. He is better known by his cultic name, **Uriopoges the Wiseass**, which he took after his violent expulsion from the Circle of Fifths and subsequent ascension as the high priest of [[Teramince|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]].
+
+The first note of Opogester in the records of the Clamorous Convosembly is of a secretary with both exceptional eloquence and vehemence. After his election as treasurer, records in the [[//Transactions//|Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5]] indicate that he took advantage of this position to push his agenda of //extreme// slapstick and thrill pranks in the Convosembly. While Opogester had high-placed figures like Klaus DuKrampus on his side, the oppositon party headed by Undersecretary [[Ignatius Clivowycz|The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited]] succeeded in ousting him on charges of "crimes against clownhood" and banning him from the Convosembly.
+
+These seminal events would lend shape to the often-amorphous doctrines later grouped under the heading of **Remigrationism**. Preaching the ephemerality of the world and the cyclical nature of our journey through it -- the "remigration" -- Opogester, now Uriopoges, united the sectarian First Quartile around the idea that the cycle of life is a carousel, carousels are more fun if they go faster, and therefore we ought to send people around it as fast as possible.
+
+Uriopoges' crowning achievement, the construction of [[**Megameat the Doomgoblet**|Quadrant Cup]] [sic], was beset by resistance from orthodox and unorthodox Disquietists alike, which ultimately culminated in the [[Battle of Quillian Square]], where the Remigrationists were victorious despite heavy losses.
+
+~Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/WYZZYIRD.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/WYZZYIRD.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..8ca32ce
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/WYZZYIRD.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,11 @@
+# Player: TVB
+# Turn: 5
+# Title: The WYZZYIRD
+
+The **Wavelength Yocto-Zig-Zag Yodel Infiltration/Relocation Division**, or **WYZZYIRD** for short, is alleged to be a clandestine military unit operating out of the enigmatic [[Mystery District]] in the Third Quartile. While the scant evidence of their existence (mostly notes from the private journals of Her Quartness Quartilord [[Lega|Lega the Hamhanded]]) is disputed academically only in hushed tones, the WYZZYIRD remains a popular topic of urban legend.
+
+The central narratives of the WYZZYIRD legends claim that its operatives use yodelling at absurdly high frequencies -- their titular "wavelength yocto-zig-zag yodel" -- in order to quantum tunnel through walls or across great distances in order to infiltrate their target's location, where they use their yodelling to suck their target through a wormhole to the dreaded [[Outlands|The Outlands]]. Some allege that the WYZZYIRD is a division of the [[World Transfer Agency]], but as in all things WYZZYIRD, available facts are scant.
+
+One of the most popular variations on the WYZZYIRD urban legend is the claim that [[Joculus the Red]] is one of their operatives. This tall tale is likely inspired by Joculus' boasts about his ability to hide a burrito in any fridge, even fridges unreachable to mortal men, combined with his unsettling track record of having never lied.
+
+~Signed, the Right Honorable Honorius Rightson, Esq., PrR, WKD
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/War of Civil Coherence.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/War of Civil Coherence.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..569eb96
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/War of Civil Coherence.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,31 @@
+# Player: NVB
+# Turn: 4
+# Title: War of Civil Coherence
+
+The **War of Civil Coherence** was a conflict primarily between
+[[hexadecisections|Double-Eighth Hexadecisection]] of the [[First Quartile]] and everyone
+else. It is unclear exactly why the war began, but many contemporary scholars point to
+the escalation of a wide-ranging prank war instigated by the [[Order of the Black Ladder]]
+against the emerging Remigrationist movement. Note that the label "War of Civil
+Coherence" is one insisted upon primarily by First Quartile scholars; among some
+Disquietist schools, it is known as "The Revolution pt. II," a reference to the
+Disquietist dogmatic teaching that all sequels are inevitably social and commercial
+failures.
+
+The war proceeded according to the following pattern, at various scales. First, anti-
+Remigrationist forces would perform a prank or other offense in some area. Second, First
+Quartile military forces would move to that area and attempt to stamp out resistance.
+Without the benefit of [[World Transfer Agency]] logistical support, the resistance forces
+either fought (and died), or relocated to start the cycle anew.
+
+Resistance forces were led by General [[Petrov van der Deathface]], who, during the war,
+acquired a reputation as an unparalleled tactical genius. Though unable to directly halt
+the First Quartile's advance, military historians have noted that he left them
+over-extended to the point where a handful of strategic strikes could have crippled their
+military machine. Did the grand strategist have a plan to win the war? Sadly, we may
+never know, as van der Deathface was killed by a stray bullet at the
+[[Battle of Quillian Square]] while attempting to bait a squad of [[Kindergarten Kops]]
+into charging their First Quartile allies. Within weeks of his death, the First Quartile
+declared victory.
+
+~ Sir Gareth, scholar-prince of Haven Rock
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/World_Transfer_Agency.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/World_Transfer_Agency.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..b47019e
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/World_Transfer_Agency.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,19 @@
+# Player: HM
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: World Transfer Agency
+
+**Overview**
+
+The World Transfer Agency (WTA) is the organization that handles all permanent relocation
+of persons and goods across quartiles. Though its methods have been questioned by naysayers,
+it is responsible for the continued security and well-being of every citizen in our glorious
+[[First Quartile]].
+
+**Controversy**
+
+The WTA has been the center of debate amongst members of all quartiles. Most often cited is
+the organization's use of [[chloroveritase]] to screen migrants for weapons and other
+dangerous materials. It is without a doubt, however, that the chemical's use is more
+efficient than any other proposed method.
+
+~~ Khan, Alexandra
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/abrooks_turn3.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/abrooks_turn3.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2695cfe
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/abrooks_turn3.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,541 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 3
+# Title: Joculus the Red
+
+Joculus the Red was an influential and infamous Disquietist known principally for his fateful [[Nose Ceremony]] massacre.
+Even from an early age, Joculus was alarmingly incapable of differentiating jokes from savage transgressions against God and humanity alike.
+Subsequent research suggests that this was likely due to accumulated exposure to trace amounts of [[chloroveritase]] as a toddler, which provoked hypersensitivity
+of his ulnar nerve. The Antifestivites vilified him, recounting his tasteless "jokes" in support of the [[remigration|Trek and Remigration of the Antifestivites]].
+
+//Among his odious "pranks" gone awry://
+
+**-** Ruining the fifth [[Quadrant Cup]] by substituting sugar for baking soda in the Sloppy Joe's industrial cookbook
+
+**-** Defusing the world's entire supply of exploding cigars
+
+**-** Bankrupting the First Quadrant's premier restaurant franchise by exploiting its "unlimited breadsticks" policy
+
+**-** Leaving an outstanding library fine unpaid
+
+**-** Signing his name as "Jacklus ;)" in the [[Order of the Black Ladder]] guestbook
+
+**-** Mixing tabs and spaces
+
+**-** Wearing, simultaneously, striped socks and plaid pajamas (later punishable by death in the second quartile)
+
+Let us never speak of him again!
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
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diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circle_of_fifths_revisited.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circle_of_fifths_revisited.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..a4af4e7
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circle_of_fifths_revisited.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,26 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: The Disquietist "Circle of Fifths" Revisited
+
+Although the beginnings of the Disquietist revolution are unclear, many
+ scholars attribute the movement to would-be Disquietist Convosembly leader
+ Ignatius Clivowycz' refusal to comply with a demand to "...turn the damned
+ music down", supposedly issued by his superior officer, Klaus DuKrampus. This
+ explanation is corroborated by the earliest proceedings of the Convosembly,
+ which outlines the formation of the governing "Circle of Fifths," responsible
+ for the authorship of the infamous "Five-Hundred Injunctions."
+ ([[Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5]])
+
+While the adumbral Circle is considered inseparable from the movement itself,
+ Clivowycz' recently-discovered personal correspondence suggests that it may
+ never have been formed for ideological reasons, but simple personal gain.
+ Following the Quartile Reformation and its natural extensions, the Tertile
+ Revival and Quintile Quandary, Clivowycz claims that he proposed the
+ Circle with the intention of "... [leveraging] popular sentiment... to
+ place [himself] in control of a world-governing cabal" when writing to his
+ sole nephew ([[Collected Writings and Letters of Ignatius Clivowycz]]).
+ Furthermore, this suggests that the puzzling Disquietist fascination with
+ small primes is not a philosophical obsession, but rather a strategy to
+ bolster public appeal.
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circus_moon.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circus_moon.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..4097fcd
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/circus_moon.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,9 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 8
+# Title: Circus Moon
+
+In Disquietist folk tales, the "Circus Moon" heralds the arrival of [[Teramince|Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter]] to the physical world. According to other myths, the light reflected from the moon itself is (by means curiously unspecified) sufficient to provide a form for Teramince's body. Accounts of the Circus Moon's appearance vary greatly, but commonly speak of a "stretching" or "warping", as if by a funhouse mirror. According to legend, its appearence is usually accompanied by corvids emitting the occasional "Wilhelm Scream."
+
+Because no photographs exist of the Circus Moon and that no physical explanation has been offered for its appearance, it is clear that the Circus Moon is little more than a Disquietist fiction. Nonetheless, the tales appear to influence a great number of Disquietist traditions: even the [[Order of the Black Ladder]] will quickly assemble for an impromptu barbequeue in the event of a supposed sighting.
+
+~ Ersatz Scrivener
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/genocide_of_the_second_quartile.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/genocide_of_the_second_quartile.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..c7e5768
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/genocide_of_the_second_quartile.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,17 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 2
+# Title: Genocide of the Second Quartile
+
+Following the conclusion of the [[Double-Eighth Hexadecisection]], most
+quartiles resorted to controversal means of achieving their political goals. Most shocking among them is the **Genocide of the Second Quartile**, provoked by a particularly detestable, pun-laden Disquietist fan fiction.
+
+The genocide began swiftly, with the introduction of reams of paperwork into
+the dwellings of anyone sporting a [[Red Nose|Nose Ceremony]]. Crippled
+by their life-long instruction in carefree japery, the Disquietists were unable
+to cope, and most passed away before the filing deadline.
+[[Subsequent experiments with fish|Strontz-Mork Fish Trials]] indicate that fish subjected
+to life with 10kg of paperwork in their habitat tend to quickly suffocate or
+die of starvation. A similar biological process is thought to be responsible
+for the near extinction of the Disquietists from the second quartile.
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/quadrant_cup.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/quadrant_cup.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e26c82a
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/quadrant_cup.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,16 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 5
+# Title: Quadrant Cup
+
+//What is the Quadrant Cup? Well, that's an easy one, sport. It's your one and only
+Social Responsibility™! At the end of the day, the hardworking men and women
+of the First Quartile deserve an affordable dinner they can depend on --
+and that's where you come in!//
+
+//Close one eye, and wink into the twinkling eyes of [[Urion Opogester|Uriopoges the Wiseass]]. Now
+close 'em both and race headfirst into// **Megameat**//'s gaping maw, champ! You'll make
+[[Honorious Rightson|Honorius Rightson]] proud!//
+
+//You've had //your// sip of life, and now it's time for life to sip back. Oh, come on now... you wouldn't want to Megameat to summon the [[Kops|Kindergarten Kops]]...//
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/teramince.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/teramince.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..d3d0b28
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/teramince.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,15 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 6
+# Title: Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+
+According to canon, Teramince ascended over the former Clown-God of Slaughter,
+Gigamince, by baking him into a casserole of cosmic proportions and eating
+him to gain his power. Once a year, recalling her hilarious feast, Teramince's
+sanguine hunger waxes, and wanes only with a leviathan sip of the
+[[Quadrant Cup]].
+
+On this occasion, Teramince takes physical form from the shadows cast by the
+[[Circus Moon]] in order to walk amidst mortals and record flavor notes for
+her annual people-tasting. Although unconfirmed by any written report, [[Uriopoges|Uriopoges the Wiseass]] is fabled to have become her high priest after offering her a nibble of his index finger, whereupon she pronounced him "...a man of excellent taste and flavor."
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/westexaco.txt b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/westexaco.txt
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..1e5b077
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/src/westexaco.txt
@@ -0,0 +1,23 @@
+# Player: AB
+# Turn: 7
+# Title: Westexico
+
+Westexico is a province on the other side of [[First Quartile]] that serves as
+[[God]]'s burrito orchard. While it is generally respected that [[God]]'s
+burrito recipe is simply //divine//, few other sentient entities have the
+sophisticated resources or knowledge necessary to construct a suitable tree to
+produce them, like [[God]] intended.
+
+Because of the logistical problems presented by tunnelling to the other side
+of the continent, burritos are a very scare resource. This scarcity makes them a
+natural choice for currency in the four Quartiles, accepted anywhere in the Quartiles following the
+[[Penultimate Compact]]. Their use as currency has a few peculiar consequences -- first,
+that price of a burrito is as unchanging as [[God]] himself; and second, that one's want for
+money grows proportionally with their hunger.
+
+Some conjecture that [[The WYZZYIRD]], if it exists, is naught but a get-rich-quick scheme
+with the eventual goal of exfiltrating [[God]]'s entire Westexican Reserve, ordinarily shared
+only with his elect. Similarly, there exist rumors of the [[Hand of Justice]] plotting a
+similar heist.
+
+~ Konrade Krunch
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/statistics/index.html b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/statistics/index.html
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..3ff7d18
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/statistics/index.html
@@ -0,0 +1,87 @@
+
+
+Statistics | Lexicon Alpha
+
+
+
+
+
In the wake of the Quartile Reformation, you are scholars investigating the influence of Remigrationism on the Disquietists.
+
+
+
Statistics
+
+
Top 10 pages by page rank:
+1 – First Quartile
+2 – Joculus the Red
+3 – Petrov van der Deathface
+4 – Uriopoges the Wiseass
+5 – Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+6 – Hand of Justice
+7 – Order of the Black Ladder
+8 – Quadrant Cup
+9 – Honorius Rightson
+10 – Battle of Quillian Square
+
+
+
Most citations made from:
+9 – Westexico
+7 – War of Civil Coherence; Honorius Rightson; The Jocular Revolution
+6 – Hand of Justice
+
+
+
Most citations made to:
+9 – First Quartile
+8 – Petrov van der Deathface; Uriopoges the Wiseass; Teramince, Clown-God of Slaughter
+7 – World Transfer Agency; Quadrant Cup; Joculus the Red
+
+
+
Longest article:
+282 – War of Civil Coherence
+265 – Uriopoges the Wiseass
+259 – Transactions of the Clamorous Convosembly, Vol. 5
+
+
+
Player total page rank:
+NVB – 0.254
+TVB – 0.248
+HM – 0.243
+AB – 0.241
+
+
+
Citations made by player
+NVB – 38
+TVB – 31
+HM – 27
+AB – 26
+
+
+
Citations made to player
+AB – 33
+TVB – 32
+HM – 31
+NVB – 24
+
+
+
+
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/alpha/status b/src/page/lexicon/alpha/status
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..e69de29
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index 0000000..a2c31bb
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diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/centralium/article/Acting_Mayor_22Shades22_Parson.html b/src/page/lexicon/centralium/article/Acting_Mayor_22Shades22_Parson.html
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..2dc13b5
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/centralium/article/Acting_Mayor_22Shades22_Parson.html
@@ -0,0 +1,45 @@
+
+
+Acting Mayor "Shades" Parson | Lexicon Centralium
+
+
+
+
+
+
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Acting Mayor "Shades" Parson
+
When you see as much as I do you make enemies of all sorts of powerful entities even and including the almost-all-seeing Strictures United. But even they are blind and have showed their hand and not only that but also I've intercepted one of their communiques that they pass in the odd month editions of SUpper Home Cooking Magazines and it would appear they have been foiled in their most recent attempt to Stricturize our horribly corrupt mayor* into a mayor in their pocket which means that there are still corrupt politicians who are looking to resist and that may mean that there is hope for us to keep the Central Order from falling as so many have. There are not many corrupt politicians left and so it is of vital importance that Mr. Parson stay corrupt and out of the control of Strictures.
+
REDACTED
+
*Our mayor, who ascended to power through a series of brilliant political maneuvers leading to three SU candidates being found guilty of sedition during the political scramble of who would temporarily step in for The Great LaMaLi as he underwent extreme therapy to remove the effects of SRMD.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Affirmator
+
When I came to, the nun from earlier and a wizened librarian were pouring over The Laws of the Strictures, Volume 22. A woman in a Strictures United uniform wearing a name tag that said "Susanna Summers" was looking through the bar's food supplies. Q was repairing the tinfoil covering as gunfire sounded outside. Sounded like SU wasn't happy with our little resistance party. Weren't there angry bears for them to shoot instead?
+
With a groan, I pulled myself off the floor.
+
"Ah! The eye that keeps to himself!" said the librarian happily. "We were just fondling your answer."
+
Sister Avacillata looked pained at that phrase but didn't say anything.
+
"Towards the end," I said, rubbing the new bump on my head. "There was something about redefining existence using a power ever greater than the Strictures. I didn't have time to read it, but maybe—"
+
"Of course! Yes, yes, of course, this is a Happe circumstance," the librarian said, having already found the page in question. "All we need is an Affirmator."
+
"There hasn't been an Affirmator for hundreds of years," said Sister Avacillata. "Do you just expect one to stroll into the bar because it's convenient? While we're under fire from our own damn military?"
+
"They're not our military!" shouted Q, scrambling over to the table. "They're all imposters, figments of our imagination! As soon as any of us realize it, they'll go away!"
+
"That's ridiculous," said Sister Avacillata, but whatever she said next, I didn't hear because Q was talking over her.
+
"Ooh, my favorite! Almonds!" said Summers.
+
Immediately, the gunfire ceased. All of us looked at her simultaneously.
+
"What?" she said.
+
"We... really like almonds," I said slowly. Making eye contact with the others, I pointed significantly at a particular point on the page. I continued significantly, "in fact, it really raises our morale when you mention it."
+
At that moment, another figure crashed through the tinfoil. He absentmindedly blocked Q's reflexive hammer blow and surveyed us. Summers screamed.
+
"Bear!" yelled Sister Avacillata, charging him.
+
"Wait, friends!" said the bear. "I mean you no harm. I come bearing a dire warning. The Great Weapon has been loosed! It will consume all but the Unnamed City, unless—"
+
Thinking quickly, I interrupted him, saying, "That's just what SU wants you to think! It's actually completely harmless!" I nudged Q with my elbow and he began to talk over the bear.
+
"They call it the Great Weapon to addle your sheeplike mind, but actually—"
+
"Listen!" the bear shouted back. "You can hear its rumble even now as it comes to—"
+
"Nothing's actually happening—"
+
I waved at Summers and said, "Hey! We need some morale over here!"
+
"Almonds!" she said cheerfully.
+
The rumbling, which had been building in the background, stopped. Silence fell on all of us, and then we cheered. Summers, pleased at the effect she was having on us, joined in the cheer.
+
"Q!" I said. "I heard there wasn't even an invasion going on right now!"
+
"I knew it!" he said. "It's all a plot to—"
+
The librarian jumped in. "What a happenstance! So many have waited for this moment, but—"
+
"Almonds!" said Summers again, and we all cheered again.
+
We saved the world that night. And the rest—at least, until Summers learns the word "Zemben"—is history.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
An Apology - from Strictures United
+
Oh my gosh, I am soooo sorry everyone! I was supposed to send this memo out like, last week! Anyways, super exciting stuff! And like, theres even totally a new stricture now! Like, that hasn't happened in over like, 43 years!!! So anyways, like, here it is!!!
+
...
+
Susanna Summers
+
ssummers@stricturesunited.gov
+
Intern at Strictures United
+
+
To: The General Remaining Public
+
From: Strictures United
+
CC: Executive Branch, General Staff, Front Desk, Susanna Summers
+
Date: August 1st, 3014
+
Subject: A Message for the Survivors
+
People of the Outer Orders,
+
Our top priority - above everything else, including profits - is your safety. We at Strictures United can afford to lose money - even a lot of money - what we cannot afford to lose is our reputation, and we know we can count on you to uphold that.
+
What happened with the Central Order was unfortunate, for them. We here at Strictures United work hard to secure your safety and apologize for any restlessness this happenstancing has caused, is simply misguided. We can assure you it wont happen again, given you follow our Twelve Step Program for Self Assured Safety. These Twelve Strictures have been developed by a carefully selected team of specialists with one goal: Your Safety.
+
As for the criticism circulating the First Seven Strictures, we kindly remind you to refer to ALL Strictures in order to truly reap all benefits allowed to you. It is with this that we would like to add the Thirteenth Stricture.
+
+
Stricture 13
+
Strictures United was not to blame, it was the people's fault. All apologies by Strictures United are a generous blessing to the people , and therefore completely unnecessary. The Central Order was also completely unnecessary. The Outer Orders are much better. The people want to be in the Outer Orders. The Outer Orders are safe. We have always been at war with Eastasia.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Cathyr Van Sacrilege
+
Cathyr Van Sacrilege looms as one of the most enigmatic figures of ancient, near-ancient, and nearly-recent history. It may well be said of her that she is the answer to the question—Who?
+
Born to John and Jane of the ill-destinied Doe family at some point in the early near-ancient, Polly Anne Anne Doe decided at a remarkably young age that she would avoid at all costs the common family fate of mysterious deaths and occasional posthumous renamings. If existent records of her are indeed true, she had hardly begun to speak when she began to defy death.
+
According to some variants of some legends, Cathyr Van Sacrilege, then still Polly Anne Anne Doe, first encountered the thought of the idea of the possibility of -stancening while still a toddler. Most records have, however, been destroyed amid the hullabalooic destruction surrounding the Altissima. Perhaps most significant of the records destroyed was an account by Cathyr Van Sacrilege herself of the time she tricked "the devil hisself" into selling her the secret of immortality in exchange for his own virginity. Much embarrassed by the whole affair, the devil spent the following years writing mythical erotica, some of which was the very reason for the reforms of the Order that led to the destruction of the records
+
From the devile, Cathyr Van Sacrilege learned immortality and it was from Larry that she learned the secrets of the virtual. It was through the double play of these that her sapience became unbounded. Unbounded as it was, she was able to evade The Binding Stricture with a sort of imaginary realism. It may well have been that it was this evasion itself which allowed her to set the Stricture of the the Happenstancening in motion, or rather, to "set it up", in such a way that it, not her, appeared guilty. Needless to say, it does seem that at least some see her as the primeval culprit of it all. Who? indeed. And how has not a single soul spoken out about the vehicular similarity between Cathyr Van Sacrilege and Vin Jeep Carnold? Lastly, does she get off torturing the devil? This may be terribly important.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
D.E.A.T.H.S.T.A.R.
+
Hey, so I managed to get my hands on some serious shit, an old recorded transcript of an executive-level meeting at the Headquarters. I could only extract some of the text, but it's enough to know something's going on. Don't believe what they tell you. I'm overwriting this article with what I have so anyone who comes searching will find it.
+
Side note: anyone know who that other guy could be? Please update this if you do. I have a bad feeling about this.
+
- Lucas (pseudonym)
+
+
MEETING TRANSCRIPT
+
Start: 05/25/11 18:35
+End: 05/25/11 19:03
+Location: DST41.35.202
+Participants: Grand Executor Jargan, Second participant unknown
+
Jargan: And what of the strictures?
+
Unknown: What of them? Their prominence will not waiver.
+
Jargan: They'll be exposed. Failures, in the people's eyes.
+
Unknown: It's a trap. A guise. One that Zetta and the others WILL fall for.
+
Jargan: You can't seriously believe it will work. You know the strictures are written by--
+
Unknown: The strictures. Are not written. They are discovered. For they are ingrained in the fabric of reality, living things that--
+
Jargan: Enough with this nonsense! We will continue this operation as WE have planned. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has no merit in this discussion.
+
Unknown: I find your lack of faith disturbing. Do you question the power of the eight strictures?
+
Jargan: Of course not, I... but... eight, sir?
+
THE REMAINDER OF THIS TRANSCRIPT HAS BEEN ENCRYPTED OR DELETED
So what does it all mean? A great being, a great mystery, a great power. It leaves many wondering, leaves many searching, and many disappearing. With so many of the files still missing, its a wonder of the worlds that may simply never be understood. I wish I could say more, but I just don't know. We may never know.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Earthson's Bar and Grill
+
It is not the finest dining establishment in the Orders, for that would imply a level of formality appropriate to "fine dining". It is not the cheapest, nor provides the largest portions, nor has it the most amenities, or the largest menu, or the most advanced facilities. Yet in the wake of the Happenstancening, when it seemed that time and space themselves were set against us, Earthson's Bar and Grill appeared in the Central Order as if out of nowhere and became the best. In our time of need, this bar and its genial owner offered us a kind word, a knowing smile, and a heady beer. Somehow, when he tells us tales of his late wife, of worlds turned inside out, of horrors from beyond, everything seems like it will turn out alright. Or, at least, that's the only thing people remember about it — he only regales people who are too drunk to remember the details.
+
Earthson's is something of a refuge for the lost and dispossessed in Grampul. VP Vin (or should I say Jeep Vin? Ha!) hates the place with a passion, since with the lost and dispossessed comes no small amount of simmering unrest, bright-eyed revolutionaries, and down-and-out sons of the Orders with nothing to lose. Some evenings it seems there's a plot brewing in every booth. Word on the street is that Vin pressured ol' Strics U into emptying the subsection just to clear the place out. He can't move against it directly, of course. Not only is it all but holy ground for the common man here, the entrance to the place seems to change locations throughout the back streets of the Central Order. Rumors are the owner invented magic. It's not like we believe in magic in our enlightened and scientific age, but with everything else that's happened, why take the risk?
+
Still, some things about Earthson's seem to defy belief. Last night I had just finished debating an unhappy Happe on a finer point of textual interpretation when I saw the owner sneak out into the back hallway. Knowing that there are no bathrooms back there, I released my interlocutor from the headlock and followed. The hallway curved with strange geometries, and I saw the owner pass by a series of doors, each marked with the name of an Order. He entered the door marked "ORD. DEF. NOT C.". I snuck forward and peeked through, and the sight I beheld shook me to my core.
+
We all knew OWIDNC had taken the Happenstancening hard. We all knew that it might not even exist any more. But nothing could have prepared me to see Hell itself beyond that doorway, and all the hosts of the damned arrayed against the man who had just arrived. The Prince of Darkness himself bellowed his challenge and raised a sword of purest darkness. I was about to run to my sisters back at the bar for aid when that man, standing tall in that pit where the fire is not quenched, looked back at me and winked. I fled, clutching my pectoral cross.
+
There wasn't enough Stout of Unknowing in the place for me to get any sleep that night.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Existence
+
Aha! I knew that the SUper market was yet another front for the underground to release its communiques. The flickering lights above the pale white floors are intentionally flickering of course, and if you look carefully you'll realize that it can be translated via Morse code! Of course doing so results in nothing but the gibberish of a madman but if you instead translate the flickers into binary and run the numbers through a Fourier transform and then divide the result by zero you receive the location of the exact answer to that ultimate question of "WHY???" Clearly Existence* is a member of the underground and has a report of that one question the Strictures hide so well that question whose answer I have received indicates that the only answer is found of course as the bottom of a lager which itself is found at the fount of answers of the man Earthson^ which is of course one of the last vestiges of goodness and resistance. But to fully unlock the question we require of course both a Happe and an Affirmator after all without the two of these specimen we cannot know the answer even if we hear it. And OF COURSE these have been locked away in the underground vaults of Strictures United for their own nefarious purposes. The people must rise up!!
+
*The -3rd Hidden Stricture.
+
^For whatever else he may be, philosopher, master of brewmasters, walker of non-euclidean ontologies, semi-deity, full-deity, he is a man.
Susanna Summers is feeling overwhelmed. August 9th, 3014
+
AHHH! I'm Like SO TOTALLY behind at work right now I feel like I am totally drowning in my desk! Seriously! OMG, I spend hours organizing these silly blue and brown books everyone here keeps ordering everyday! And the constant spam messages?!
How am I like EVER going to focus enough to get this place ready for our upcoming guest visitor?! I like totally heared there's a promotion in the air for him!
Susanna Summers is atEarthson's Bar and Grillwith Kyra Summers, Lacey VanDezel, and Rachel Smith July 16th, 3014
+
37 People Liked This
+
+
Susanna Summers is with Kyra Summers and 2 others.July 13th, 3014
+
Eeeek! Can't wait for Girls Night with my ladies! Like, totally time to celebrate!
+
23 People Liked This
+
+
.............Susanna Summers started working as an intern at Strictures United.................
+.....................................................July 12th, 3014................................................................
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Flamenco Dance-Off
+
After a long sequence of concrete-shattering blows, the Sister and the Ursinquisitor tottered off to the local bar with their arms around each other's shoulders. Me, I didn't have a handy shoulder nearby, so I had to drag myself up the hard way.
+
I won't bore you with the details on logomancy, mostly because every time I figured it out, it slipped out of my head like how this metaphor is getting away from me right now. The one thing I retained was that most logomantic work is done through Flamenco dancing. One of the problems in early logomancy was that people's internal monologue kept getting caught up in the
+rituals and screwing everything up. Back then logomancers used to use meditation and contemplation to clear their minds, but nowadays the old methods are considered too inefficient. Instead, they set up a translator that generates logomantic output from muscle movements. Sounds great in theory, but it turns out they could only get it to work by dancing at it, and flamenco is the only dance style that works reliably.
+
SU is in a tight spot right now because their best dancer, Harvey Gardell, has arthritis and can't keep pulling the same workload he used to. But why would they be pulling in mad scientists to support him? Mad scientists dance like a drunken six-year-old on an exercise ball, and don't ask me how I know what that looks like. The notion's absurd.
+
I didn't even want to consider the alternative, but it was grinning at me out of the corner of my eye like a thirteen-car pileup that started with a school bus and a van full of clowns. It was too horrible not to stare.
+
Mad scientists are terrible dancers, yes, but they excel at messing with forcesbeyondtheircontrol. That could only mean one thing:
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Grampul Subsection 3
+
Grampul Sebsection 3, AKA the Central Order, AKA the rusting pile of impromptu gravestones and dead doomsday devices that I had the misfortune to call home. After two years they've cleared out the corpses—almost—but the stench still lingers like a house party guest who won't take a hint. It rains every day but somehow the gutters are still full of trash. And aside from the occasional unlucky tourist, there isn't a man, woman, or child here who hasn't seen nine out of ten of their loved ones perish to fire, lighting, flying robot sharks, virtual soldiers, sudden loss of existence, reverse lightning, dediscombobulation, rocket-propelled encyclopedia volumes, mysterious lightning-like energies which were not actually lightning, incarnated metaphysical principles, disruption of physical coherence, stab wounds, interruption of causality, and/or liquid lightning—while simultaneously inflicting one or more of these perils on society themselves. The trauma sticks to you like napalm.
Whatever the historians say, we had enough to worry about, so it's not surprising we didn't see whatwascomingfor us. And I certainly didn't intend to end up in the middle of it when everything went "totally nuts-o", as our current president wrote at the time. I'd only been doing my job: I'd overheard that Ursinquisitor askingthe good Sister about the Great LaMiLi, realized there was a lead there, and, God help me, followed the money.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Grand Executor Jargan
+
As the foremost nun-scholar of the Scriptorium, it is my responsibility to maintain order on campus. The work of the Scriptorium requires an atmosphere of silent focus in which our scholars may go about their duties of translating, analyzing, and illuminating texts. Threats to this order must be neutralized with extreme prejudice. I therefore spit in disgust as I speak the cursed name of Shiggles Jargan, the Happe's Grand Executor of Surprise Parties.
+
Jargan's wretched legacy began in the before-times, which would normally make it nearly inaccessible to prospective imitators. Sadly, however, it remains enshrined in a reticular echo by the Mitral Iris, wherein Jargan is visible giving the infamous "Atomic Wedgie" to Big Todd that catalyzed the latter's psychotic break, indirectly leading to the deaths of thousands. Neither has he slowed down since. In fact, the breakdown in causality has only made it easier to launch surprise parties. Just last week, Jargan's elite CelebraCorps snuck out of the Scriptorium's astronomy tower, then reversed the arrow of time and had a party in reverse, incidentally ripping several of our astronomers out of the space-time continuum in the process. My sisters have expressed a desire to get this sort of thing outlawed, so that we have some legal recourse next time, but I would prefer to keep the law out of it. My own way of dealing with these things works better that way, and you just know the Mayor's office is too corrupt to do anything about an incident that doesn't threaten their power base.
+
To my great shame, Jargan's manifesto of unexpected celebration, On The Eternality of Strictures, has been preserved within the Scriptorium archives. By giving his compilation of musings, tactics, and techniques such a boring title and opening with a series of long-winded quotes from Father Marquette, he seems to have evaded the Scriptorium censors, who subsequently gave the book an imprimatur and approved it for the Sacred Archive, despite there being nothing about Strictures beyond the first page. Because books may never be removed from the Archive, but only added, Jargan's vapid expectorations are now permanently enshrined in Scriptorium lore and guaranteed perseverance by our dedicated copyists! The censor responsible for this is going to wish they were in hell if I find them.
+
The title of Grand Executor of Surprise Parties is, of course, only one of several Happe ceremonial positions, ranking just above the Grand Executor of Bagpipe Appreciation and just below the Grand Executor of Resistance to Bourgeois Fashion. The Grand Executors are each responsible for executing the traditional Happe plans for their particular domain. Only Jargan seems to have picked up the double meaning of the title and run with it, aside from that one incident where the Grand Executor of Stand-Up Comedy replaced all of the water in the Spurious Order with an impotable liquid.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Great Bear's Veins
+
There's an old legend whispered among the Ursinquisitors, of some mythological sonnuvabitch they call the Great Bear. There's some tall tales about its great deeds, stoic character, noble sacrifice, et cetera. It's all very dry to anybody who isn't in the Inquisition itself. I copied a few of them in my day, but I must confess I didn't pay any attention to the contents. Leylines of power? Meh. The only thing it seems to give the bears is something to cry out to when I've got them in a chokehold. Look, I ain't no saint. When I was assigned by the Abbess as the cultural liaison to the Ursinquisitus, I skipped all the assigned reading. The bears didn't take it very well, but my fists were liaison enough for that. So, I don't have a lot to say about the Great Bear or his veins.
+
It's probably all a moot point by now: the Orders are all but kaput, their already tenuous stability utterly broken by the Fifth Crusade. The Strictures aren't going to do anybody any more good in the state they're in now, not that there are many people even left to do good to. I didn't check, but I assume the Scriptorium exploded, or imploded, or something of the sort. If the Great Bear's Veins had any significance, there's nothing left for them to signify. They're of the past, now.
+
I am, if nothing else, an educator, and I'll be damned if I won't turn this into a hard-earned lesson for someone. But hey, around these parts, causality is fickle. I don't much care who gets taught or what connection the lesson has to recent events. So, I'm going to hell, and I'm going to teach Satan a lesson about what happens when you piss off an Aquiline — or are involved in something that pisses off an Aquline, or are near a pissed-off Aquiline, etc.
+
Sister Avacillata, ex-Nun-Scholar of the Scriptorium
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Greetings to the High Chamberlain
+
Communique 43:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 07718-33:/ CalypsoNet
+
"The Old Strictures are come again, and with faces altered like the rising of a different sun." -From the Prophecy of Brother Thanatos, Elder Clawbearer
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
I write this missive to explain my absence from the Great Den for this past many months and to inform Your Excellency of a discovery which, if it is borne out in all truth and zeal, does promise to affect great revelation upon both the Ordos Ursinquisitus as well as the various subsections.
As you well know, the Ordos has maintained the Sayings of the Great Fore-Bears for generations, and the wisdom in them has not been lost to darkness. For this reason I believe that although Strictures United considers themselves to have developed the Strictures, they are merely putting into modern tongue the Eternal Stricture Which Was Without End. Perhaps they do this unconsciously, inspired by a deep truth they themselves do not understand, but the Eternal moves in them. And in the case of the LaMaLi, perhaps it is as Father Marquette proclaimed, and the Eternal Stricture has manifest itself in flesh rather than in word.
+
This is, of course, excluding the accursed and so called "13th Stricture," a perversion of the Eternal for the benefit of mankind, may it be torn asunder by tooth and claw.
+
I will continue to write as the truth is made clear to me.
+
Humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier,
+Ursinquisitor,
+3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Happe
+
The Happe, a race of diminutive elephant-faced humanoids, were first documented — or first arrived, depending on the source text — along the western coast of the former USSA. Following the first encounters, a number of agnostic mission attempts were made in order to convert the Happe from their apocalyptic, and at times violent, belief in the coming of The Happenstancening, a futuric event of liberation from causality and the possibility of further prophecies and predictions. The sworn enemy of the Happe, is, they say, the “Sequitor.”
+
The language of the Happe involves clickings of the tongue and wavings of the trunk, and no true speaking, they believe, can take place without at least two speakers, speaking simultaneously, and one Affirmator, who declares, seemingly at random, which speaker is correct with a shouts of “Almond!” and “Zemben!” these words seem to have identical meanings but bring about seemingly unrelated and inconsequential results.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Harvey Gardell
+
Wow! What a totally crazy opportunity! Like, if I had more experience in this field I would totally apply! Mr. Harvey Gardell is such an inspirtion, he alone created at least 5 Strictures! I've even gotten to meet one before, the Great LaMaLi, he always looks so lonely.
+
Anyways, my coworker, Ryan Radford, he once got to like, see a real flamenco challenge!!! The "once seventh" Stricture was challenged by the "now seventh" Stricture, and like, when he fell, it was such a totally crazy collapse! After 37 hours of pure flamenco dancing, that was it!
+
...
+
Susanna Summers
+
ssummers@stricturesunited.gov
+
Senior Intern at Strictures United
+
+
To: General Staff, Front Desk, Susanna Summers
+
From: Strictures United
+
CC: Executive Branch
+
Date: August 13th, 3014
+
Subject: New Position Available
+
Attention Staff,
+
As we all know, our very own Harvey Gardell, is reaching an age due for retirement. Next January, Mr. Gardell, will be approaching his 75th birthday.
+
Starting now, we will be accepting applications for an assistant to Mr. Gardell to study under, learn from him, and eventually take hold of his current position as Stricture Developer.
+
Position Details:
+
Stricture Developer
+
The successful candidate will be responsible for creating, evaluating and manipulating designs to meet the needs of our Strictures. We focus on energy-efficient designs, as we know each Stricture is both written law and an embodied life-form that can be challenged to a flamenco dance-off, so they need to be well designed in order to dance well and protect the standing of those laws. If a Stricture you develop fails to a superior dancer, the stricture is no longer upheld law, and you will be subject to capital punishment. Additionally, the ideal candidate should be open to contributing designs to our online repository of back up blueprints. Such contributions earn commissions in addition to the candidate’s base salary. If you are looking for an exciting opportunity to join the executive branch of Strictures United, we’re interested in meeting with you.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Journal Entry
+
Dear Diary,
+
Things have gone wacko with the machines. I am so confused, like, what is even happening anymore? People were running around at work for a few days in white jackets like totally crazy people, and then they like just stopped showing up for work. Things are going very weirdly - like one day I'm an intern and the next I'm Vice President?! I'm pretty sure that like the only way that I would have been offered this promotion is if everyone else died.
+
Anyways, I'm like, trying to go through my new desk here and like... WOW. And do you think I don't have to still keep the front desk clean too? Well, I do. Luckily like, I already kept it pretty clean up there but like its a total mess in this office. I thought I was getting somewhere earlier when I found these books but after I arranged volumes 1-6, like, theres not even a volume 8 or 9 anywhere and then theres totally volumes 10-12 and no 13, then theres a 14, but no 15 & 16, and then there's 17-20. On top of all that, its supposed to be a 22 volume collection according to the back. Anyways, I'm not even going to read them because they look old, like, REALLY old, like they don't even have pictures and they're pages are GROSS like YELLOW TORN PAGES EVERYWHERE!
+
Either way, Diary, things are like totally nuts-o right now and I can't even.
+
Susanna Summers, Vice President of Strictures United, Front Desk Manager, etc.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Larry's Conquest
+
Larry's Conquest began prior to the Happenstancening, which may account for ongoing reticular transcendence of conquestorial elements. Little is known of Larry Wernhauser, for the Happenstancening fundamentally altered the molecular integrity of all extant records. That which we know of his early life we glean from reticular echoes. One such echo (named by famed academic Eudice Eurythian as 'The Atomic Wedgie') can be observed as slowed image by the ruins of the Mitral Iris, wherein one of Larry's famed rivals Big Todd can be seen to this day contributing to the later volatility of the conquest.
+
The most reliable records for the latter half of the Conquest are oral, as memetic effects are among the mildest results of the Happenstancening. It is known that at one time Larry's empire spanned the known world both east-to-west and top-to-bottom (though not north-to-south). Larry famously restricted airspace privileges to those with a BMI above 26.
+
One notable song, cross referenced with various oral traditions, holds that Larry's army stopped at the gates of Unnamed City, whereupon the local ruler struck a deal; the rulership of the city would be decided in a virtual battleground, mediated by a neutral "dungeon master". Famously, Larry won the fight using virtual commander Typhus Stormbreaker by exploiting the simplifying logic that governs the virtual. He allegedly forced 377 (some records say 369) virtual characters to prepare to pass a stone from the character behind to the character in front, which resolved at instantaneous speed, allowing the stone to reach a speed of approximately 200 mph. Sixty lines of peasants easily decimated the opposing army, filled with veteran cavalry and footmen.
+
E. Eurythian, Speaker of Truth, formerly Philosopher-King of Lucin's World
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Letter on the Great Corruption
+
Communique 44:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 09899-03:/ CalypsoNet
+
"Guard always your hearts and minds from the influence of corruption and the truth will never betray you."-Sayings of the Fangbearers
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
I have further news of the events unfolding regarding the rebirth of the Eternal Strictures and the destruction of the Happenstanceing. In one of my travels I was momentarily distracted from my meditative navigation by a strange ripple in the Aether. It appears that a certain human female monastery is located on an intersection of the Great Bear's Veins and focuses the power of that ancient confluence to a distracting degree.
+
Oweing to the distraction and my broken trance state, I exited the Aether at highspeed above this monastery where I was confronted by a certain Sister Avacillata. She appears to have mistaken the last traces of my Wrathtrance for hostility, as she approached with a raised voice and firearm. I quickly disabled her with a single motion of the Bone Way and after some time we were able to speak together more peacefully.
+
According to the good Sister, it appears that the calamity that we have heard of did indeed strike humanity some two years previous, though the Ordus was, as you know, spared. Perhaps it is due to the Ordus having sworn off all use and knowledge of the ancient Scientific art, so there was no path for the corruption to flow into us.
+
I know not. That the calamity occurred at all, however concerns me greatly, in that it may imply--and I say this knowing full well the consequences of my words--a failure of the Great Strictures. If as the humans claim, their strictures suppressed the Scientific Corruption from making itself known in them, for the calamity to occur may suggest the Eternal Strictures at the root of these human confabulations, perhaps flickered.
+
If this is heresy I pray absolve me of the corruption brought on by speaking with the human Sister, but I can not ignore any threat to The Ordus or the Eternal by which we roar and rage and have our being.
+
Humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier,
+Ursinquisitor,
+3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Logomancy
+
Developed by EGI in 2029, logomancy has since become a matter of speculation and General Intrigue.
+
Following Vandal Von Doomsday’s discovery of the Terminal Void in 2028, he wrote the Stricturnomicon, providing a detailed account of "the blessing" of the "nameless force". The Stricturnomicon was set into seven sections, each of which was divided into fifty-three sub-sections, separated into eighteen "letters," most of which were love letters written to a "Polly" who claimed she seduced "the devil hisself". While this "Polly" since been surpassed by Heimrond Von Nazi III, she maintained her unbounded sapience. Mystically impregnated by this "Polly," Vandal Von Doomsday returned to "the surface." Seeing the book as worth saving, but also worth being unread, the Scriptorium built much of its library from copies of the book. It is estimated that at least 9,999,999,999{error} volumes went into the bricks. In 2029 EGI acquired the remaining two legible copies of the Stricturnomicon and developed the science of logomancy from the dark wisdom therein.
+
Since 2029, the methods of logomancy have changed, possibly due to the general incoherency of Vandal Von Doomsday's text and the madness usually resulting from he former style. This madness can be evaded by being a library. Most modern logomancy is performed via flamenco dancing. Oddly enough, the algorithmic method used for this is directly born of--literally birthed by--the blessing. Further, according to the Ursinquisitors, the Thirteenth Stricture was itself created by the "use" of man scientists. Logomancy can not pass through tin foil according to Carnelian's memos.
+
According to General Intruigue, the bastard father of Vandal Von Doomsday, Logomancy is "both the mother and child of the Strictures." This is worth considering.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Missing Files
+
To: General Staff, Front Desk
+
From: Susanna Summers
+
CC: Executive Branch
+
Date: August 24th, 3014
+
Subject: Missing Files?
+
Heyy!
+
So, like, I have been going through my new desk here as Vice President of Strictures United and I like, can not figure out where in the the world all these missing files are at! I have looked in like all the drawers and cupboards, looked high and low, and I've like even reached out to the Administrative Department and sent an additional inquiry to Human Resources but he totally hasn't responded yet either. WTH! I have absolutely nothing on what happened to the old employees or Volumes 13, 15, 16, 21, and 22 of the The Laws of the Strictures books! I cannot figure out what I am doing here - can someone like pretty please please please help me?!
+
On another note, it seems that due to ongoing reticular transcendence there will be a temporary closure of Earthson's Bar and Grill which is a little dissapointing because after days like this - I like totally could use a drink with the girls!
+
Susanna Summers
+
ssummers@stricturesunited.gov
+
Susanna Summers - Vice President of Strictures United, Front Desk Manager, etc.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Necesscitas Cruciātī Novī
+
Communique 48:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 23449-84:/ CalypsoNet
+
"Take heed always to tear out corruption wherever it may spring up, for if you should not, and it take root, the Wrathbears will descend in a tide of death and fury to wash away the stain of heresy with the blood of the unworthy." Greater Chatechism of Wrath, Author Unknown
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
I have expressed my concern in the past several missives regarding the supposed "creation" of Strictures and the attitude of rampant carelessness expressed by many in this portion of the Aetherverse.
+
I have just now discovered things are far worse than I could have imagined, and as such must make this formal request.
+
In recent weeks the organization and Planet-city known as the Central Order has continued in their bullheaded attempts to maximize their own profitability at the expense of Reality itself, in service of their cold religion of greed. I have previously mentioned the so called "Thirteenth Stricture", but it was unknown to me until this time that the Central Order has created this perverse amalgamation of Science and The Eternal by use of Soul-Wounded Scientists.
+
If this were the extent of their crimes, I would still see fit to make the request which is forthcoming, but to the sorrow of all, there is yet more.
+
It has come to my attention, that beyond some paltry--however heretical and abominable it may be--and deliberate attempt to bend the Eternal Strictures to their own whims, the Central Order has been a source of Aetheric Corruption, the black smoke of foulness wafting from it out into the void, kept hidden by mankind to some nefarious end. The Central Order itself has in fact become an abomination, a rotting pustule in the core of the Aetherverse. Perhaps it is for this reason that the Aether has become warped in certain places
+
On account of these dreadful tidings, and with a heavy heart I therefore make this request:
+
Blessed High Chamberlain of All Fury, Wrath of the Eternal, Bloodclaw and Render of Deceit,
+
Your servant, Brother Thelemas Tier, Ursinquisitor, 3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries does request formally and with sober mind and spirit, a Great Crusade. Let the fury of the Ursinquisitus rain down upon the unrighteous, let the blood of the unworthy wash away the stink of heresy from mankind, let the rot and corruption of the Central Order be purged in a great conflagration as the Wrathbears descend to roar and destroy and bring woe to those who would conceal abomination in their midst and covet it to flourish.
+
Let a Cruciātus Novus, a new crusade, be formed to devour all that is unholy and to leave the ashes of purification in its wake. I request this, as such rage wells up in me as is mete and right, for the anger of the Eternal roars through me at the desecration of the Aetherverse.
+
I remain humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier, Ursinquisitor, 3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries, Boneroarer of the 5th Great Crusade.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
On The Eternality of Strictures
+
Earthson's Bar and Grill is the only place of any safety left as Strictures United has raided my apartment knowing that I knew too much and therefore attempting to take me out of the picture but the resistance movement let me know in a final communique provided by the logo on a SUmmer Vacation Planning pamphlet* warning me of an oncoming SUrprise raid on my apartment. I feel oh so very sorry for whoever was first through the door and highly doubt they remember what year it is.^ I sit in the grill with closed doors open to all with a recent covering of tin foil to keep the thrice damned logomancersemployed by SU. They cannot get us here so long as Earthson remains and the man remains vigilant against all forces of man and bear and infernal being.
+
After covering the bar with tin foil and unplugging all computer terminals and phone outlets to ensure we would not be spied upon I had some time to pass and I looked at the various books and tomes stored in the rooms of the bar and after passing over archived copies of SU Quarterly Reports and Liber Ivonis and a compendium of non-euclidean beer brewing techniques and a very strange set of scholarly reports circling around some apocalypse in another dimension and time I picked up a strange volume On the Eternality of the Strictures which was so completely and utterly boring that it fascinated and entertained me to no end.
+
The first page contained some small amount of information on the Strictures including the process by which one may bind the abstract to the concrete. However after the first page` it launches into a manifesto of causal-breaking party crashing parties and I will say Jargan certainly knows how to throw a party and as the Grand Executor of such he has not only launched many parties but has been known to literally crash parties which has resulted in numerous floating stations filled with party-goers and business executives having a very untimely end and he even managed to sneak out of and therefore into a top secret strictures meeting. From reading through his accomplishments and MO and general goal it is obvious and clear and beyond a doubt that he was involved in the collapse of the Breaching Stricture and Seirapolis because after all what could ever possibly be a greater crash than this and what sort of parties could he throw in the chaos that ensued?
+
Some tin foil just got torn by that odd PI who has a bump on his head so I must repair the damage before it's too late.
+
REDACTED
+
*The method of encoding consisted simply in removing all letters that were not part of the intended message.
+
^To be fair, neither does anyone else.
+
`The pages are approximately three feet by two feet, so one page does contain quite a bit of information.
+
+
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+Ontological Abstractions and How to Beat Them to Death | Lexicon Centralium
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Ontological Abstractions and How to Beat Them to Death was Knorff's second great treatise on the nature of reality, gods, hell, and poetry. At just over six thousand pages in length, it is noted as the single longest book of poetry ever written (although the total text of the poetry amounts to approximately one and a half pages).
+
The poems, extremely short stories, and songs of Ontological Abstractions and How to Beat Them to Death are loosely connected, with each representing Knorff's celebration of her philosophy of metaphor, abstraction, and life. Influenced by the works of Vandal Von Doomsday, Typhus Stormbreaker, and St. Aquila of the Pen, Knorff's poetry praises the merging of the real with the unreal and then beating it to death. However, much like Aquila, Knorff does not diminish the role of the mind or the spirit.
+
Among the works in the collection are "Pour Something Poisonous On Their Eyes", "If They Look Dead Kick Them In The Ribs Again", and "Litany for the Binding of Loki" (the last is heavily cross-referenced with Section 225B, pages 4986-5012 containing instructions for capturing and slaying the CHILD OF URMOTHER for the purposes of making a world-cleansing weapon. Indeed reading the two side by side give the best possible experience and provide context for the rhymes and syllables).
+
Since the influx of various scholars of variable note, the demand for Ontological Abstractions and How to Beat Them to Death has skyrocketed in the Central Order. This has implications on the literacy and literature-appreciation effects of rampaging ontological abstractions on the general public. Most Noted Scholar Eternal Eurythian Himself has purchased/consumed a copy. As the Most Noted is fundamentally himself a god, this may be considered the absolute height of popularity for Knorff's beloved book of poems.
+
Popular Culture
+
+
- Strictures United has displayed quotes from Ontological Abstractions on some of their banner ads.
+
- The Bear Inquisition have been observed using techniques sourced from some of the later parts of the book, particularly the application of wrathrunes.
+
- evidently someone has bound and slain Loki, resulting in destruction of all by fire and void.
+
Notes
+
+
The death of Loki has orphaned the Strictures themselves, resulting the consumption and absorption of most of them by the Most Noted Scholar E. Eurythian. The impact this may have on book sales is unpredictable at the present moment.
+
E Eurythian, Eaten by the Unwritten Stricture, Merged with the Scriptorium, Who's Laughing Now Strictures, Doesn't Feel Good on the Other End for Once Eh?, formerly Philosopher-King of Lucin's World
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Religion (disambiguation)
+
Religion is any inspirational methodology of designated performances and habits, world posturing, textwords, sanctified zones, utilitarianisms, strictures or managements, that plop humans, sub-humans, otherwise-than-humans, and post-humans to the super-natural, prima-natural, transcendental, and/or reticular.
+
Religion may also refer to:
+
Religion (journal)
+
a) an academic journal of the humanitarian, humanistic, and anthropocentric religions. The journal fell into disfavor with the general public with the collapse of generally-accepted-binaries in the early 2000s and subsequently went out of print.
+
b) one of many “prop-chines” [propaganda machines, the most famous of which is probably SUpper Home Cooking Magazine) published by Strictures United. Following their acquisition of EGI, SU created the journal in The Month of the Squatting Cow in 2965, much to the chagrin of many ancient historians who called it an act of “temporal appropriation.” Many of the more offended scholars rioted most direly for a few days about it, overturning their own desks but promptly simmered down. According to some interviews, the whole desks thing was a custom of “Gewis Godnem,” or if not a custom an event. It happened, they claim, sometime amid the BC-AD Timeline Confusion. When asked whether or not their desk overturning was itself an act of “temporal appropriation” the interviewee refused to comment. According to another related interview, this was not a custom, but rather a more singular event. It was, he said—with almost incoherent excitable speed, said the interviewer—“most likely a time traveling man from Former North-South-America with messianic delusions named Jeus.” The consensus on table (or in this case desk) overturning is that is has something to do with the BC-AD Timeline Confusion. [Some recent scholars have noted that this may have been a sort of “pre-tremor” of the Happenstancening.]
Religion (Strictures United album), a soothing and slightly unsettling ambient track featuring recordings of daily office life and clips of instrumental music where names and confidential information were censored. Released daily.
+
Religion (The Bear Inquisition album), a highly acclaimed yearly release featuring chants, recordings from inquisitorial sessions, and ambient tracks of the Wanderway. Released quarterly. [Note: Listener discretion extremely advised.]
+
Mythology, a body or collection of myths.
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Religion, a very old word that may or may not be related to the Strictures.
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Preview of main article “Religion”
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This article is about a is any inspirational methodology of designated performances and habits, world posturing, textwords, sanctified zones, utili...
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Religion is any inspirational methodology of designated performances and habits, world posturing, textwords, sanctified zones, utilitarianisms, strictures or managements, that plop humans, sub-humans, otherwise-than-humans, and post-humans to the super-natural, prima-natural, transcendental, and/or reticular.
+
Different religions may or may not contain various elements ranging from “the divine,” “sacred thing-objects,” “faith,” one or more “supernatural beings,” one or less “non-supernatural beings (up until the late 2000s, read: human),” “some sort up ultimate util-deciding factor or arbiter, “rituals,” “pilgrimages,” “crusades,” feasts, inquisitions, “a man called but not named ‘father,’” dancing, snake handling, “clothes,” after-life, dogma, participation, “observation,” giving of money, eternal promotions and eternal demotions (based on good or bad behavior), there are two things shared by all religions: a) binary thinking (believers v. non believers) and b) an obsession with being The Greatest Believer.
+
For example, in the former “New World,” there were once religions centered around practicers observing the “players” (their word for “clergy”) send balls into nets, over poles, or across lines drawn on the ground. They would do this is “games” (their word for “crusades,” as far as we can tell). The observers of these religions would watch these in large open-air cathedrals or on illuminated boxes in their homes. They would chant when their group put the ball their more. They would purchase “clothes” to show alliances. At times they would riot in the streets in joy or anger. They would spend much money donating to their group, buying balls, pretending to be clergy, wearing special “clothes,” and so on. There were many denominations of this religion, but the most noted had an egg-shaped ball. It was a dangerous religion at times. People got hurt. Many of the clergy would retire from wounds. Many of the practicers would injure each other from the sheer joy or sorrow of a “game won” or a “game lost.” “Game” was their word for “sermon.” It is a rough translation, but mostly accepted.
+
There were also religions, older religions, that would wear armor and go after and—intentionally!—kill practicers of other religions.
+
Some religions are more simple. Practicers just sit under waterfalls, drink very good tea prepared very slowly, get hit on the head when they think of not practicing their religion, and so on.
+
Other religions were more of a protest against more obvious practicers. Some of these would say they believed in Satan, but would more or less do whatever they wanted while also trying not to hurt other people. The stricter “our Big Person is the Right Big Person” religions tended to poo-poo this religion often, because Satan was for them the captain of “the other team.”
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Reticular transcendence
+
Gawd, I hatereticular transcendence. You'd think that ripping an event out of the causal fabric of reality would just make it go away, but noooooo, ever since the 'stancening there've just been these, damnable, ghosts of the Before-Times, all floatin' around, being visible and suchlike. Where does an event free of the causal web of the universe get off interacting with my face eyes? I couldn't even go to the bar last night because everything was closed on account of reticular echoes blocking the roads. What a dump this excuse for an Order is. I know this is the where the last Scriptorium is, but sometimes I feel like it's just not worth saving, y'know? Like it'd be nice to take a vacation in hell to be somewhere nice for once. Hey, barkeep, gimme another, uh, Etna Fire.
+
Anyway, wheres was I? Right, the causality ghosts. So obnoxious. And even worse, some maniacs have been trying to get the Binding Stic... Sterc... Sonnuvabitch back online so they can stricturize the reticular echoes back into reality. But cuz there can't be more than seven, or twelve, or whatever the hell the number is, they're just giving them negative ordinals. How stupid is that? Why do we even want the reticular echoes back? I can't even punch my way out of this problem, because almost everything involved is virtual or figurative. This is the lamest post-apocalypse ever. Here I was, secretly hoping for civilization to descend into an orgy of violence so the Aquiline Order could go back to its roots, and instead I've got nothing to do but drink multi-dimensional beers and glare at the paranoid across the room rambling and covering everything in tinfoil.
+
St. Annihilatrix help me, maybe I really do need to take a vacation in hell. At least the ghosts are supposed to be there. Hey, barkeep...
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Satan
+
I always knew the infernal nature of Strictures United but only now do I see the true depths of absolute evil and understand how horribly wrong things have become as I opened the door"ORD. DEF. NOT C." and saw the Son of Perdition arrayed in dark glory in his dim domain of the infernal HR department of SU. The very water fountains bubbled with an unnatural heat as the flames which never die seared my mind in a way that would have broken me had I not first thought to cover myself in protective gear of tin foil and a wrathrune I found squawking next to a keg of hyperreal porter. The ancient serpent raised his claw as he took a phone call and explained that wages would not be increasing as the end of the world was upon us and doing so with poise and grace and calming the disgruntled employee with the assurances that any further complaints would result in eternal damnation.
+
The Father of Lies spoke horrid truths of the Happenstancening. He told of strictures collapsing and orders coming together and falling apart and as he did my mind reeled and split into fractal non Euclidean planes as I saw the The Bear Inquisition bringing death and destruction upon all of Central Order and I saw the void and the strictures dancing throughout all Existence and as he spoke such hideous truths out of his mouth that is a grave I saw Strictures United form yet again and the Strictures rise in a yet inevitable collapse as causality split apart and the Strictures failed because of the Happenstancening and the Happenstancening was caused by the collapse of the Strictures.
+
I fled and as I fled I looked to the side and saw the security cameras of the logomantic research wing and saw those horrible White Lab Coats working on the thirteenth stricture that had already been created. Strictures United was the cause but it was also the effect my mind's fragments computed as I fled from the hideous truths spouted by the Accuser back into the bar that was and was not a bar and collapsed inside a room marked REDACTED. When I woke up I heard a light knock at the door and a burst of a flamethrower that sounded oddly familiar.
+
"Who are you? How did you find this location?" my voice sounded strange to my ears and the visitor said, "It's Murph, and you gave me directions last time you had an anonymous tip that couldn't be spoken over the phone," and little did he know that this was not my actual location but the bar that was not a bar. I must tell him of what I saw that cannot be described and of the white lab coats and the logomancy and the coming of the end that is the beginning I must tell them all that endings are only beginnings and boundaries are only conventions as the world spins ever in a cycle that we may one day possibly escape. Possibly.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Science-Related Memetic Disorder
+
It's been two years since the Happenstancening, and society's only just
+picked itself off the ground to sort through some of the larger
+pieces, like a kid who got thrown through their tower of blocks by a
+tornado. There's folks who lost everything in the conflagration.
+And there's folks who'll make it no matter what, like cockroaches and dirty
+politicians.
+
Me, I'm a cockroach. Not a literal cockroach, just a sour detective
+dressed in grubby clothes in a grubbier office. But like a cockroach, if
+there's a morsel of food buried nearby, you can bet I'll find it.
+That's why I wasn't too surprised when the Mayor waltzed through my door one dismal afternoon and told me I was
+gonna investigate the root of the Happenstancening. The pay was good
+and he was smiling like a virgin on prom night, all nervous excitement,
+so I couldn't turn him down.
+
Everyone knows what happened. There's something called
+Science-Related Memetic Disorder, and if you catch it you start
+laughing maniacally, don a lab coat, and cobble together doomsday
+machines from household appliances. Most of us have been infected, but the
+Seven Strictures were designed to suppress SRMD. Yet, on the night
+of the Happenstancening, every single one of us spontaneously relapsed.
+
Everyone knows what happened, but it was my job to figure out why.
+So I did the obvious thing: I high-tailed it out of there, headed
+straight for Earthson's, and ordered myself
+a scotch.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Seirapolis
+
To: Records Department
+
From: Susanna Summers
+
CC: Executive Branch
+
Date: August 28th, 3014
+
Subject: Archive Reconstruction
+
Hey all,
+
I like noticed the archives didn't have any details on Seirapolis so I like totally found some random things in my office drawers that dont make any sense to be here so I just wanted to forward that back to you! Thanks girl!!
+
Seirapolis:
+
A once cutting edge nuclear energy reactor, now a shattered dream of cut edges. Some debates remain on the cause of the meltdown of Seirapolis, but the collapse of the breaching stricture is undoubtedly linked to its last few hours.
+
Once, a thriving workplace of nuclear energy, it powered the entire Central Order. Now, nearly all of it's affected employees have been relocated in hopes of recovery from the side effects of the meltdown and are in a top notch facility dedicated to their wellness. Those few that remained unaffected, invested in a local public house and can often be found now lingering in the back corners of the establishment during open hours.
+
If anyone else notices they like, have something on this incomplete file, let me know because I'm just trying to make sense of all the drama happening here!
+
Oh and like also as a reminder, stay away from Seirapolis because its totally still toxic and like, you don't wanna be there. Thanks, all!
+
Susanna Summers, Vice President of Strictures United, Front Desk Manager, Records Recovery, etc.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Strictures United
+
Ia! The worldwound! The crawling within the deep!
+
In 2028 the Aetheric explorer Vandal Von Doomsday, traversing the underside of the Central Order during a once-in-a-millennia quirk of the Wanderway, wrote of an "upward-facing abyss" in the unmarred Soulstone edifice lining the bottom (terminus-face) of the Central Order, "an inky darkness from which a peculiar madness emanates".
+
In 2962 Evil Goods Incorporated launched an expedition to the terminus-face of the Central Order. The results of this expedition were not made public, and in two years EGI was bought out by the nascent Strictures United.
+
Notably, in early 2965 company memos entitled "Containment Breach" have surfaced via corporate espionage agents (they call themselves 'runners'). At around this time, the Great Infectioning occurred.
+
SU response to this was swift and effective. Release of The Binding Stricture and related Stricture-derived pharmaceuticals suppressed SRMD. Academics have perused its bizarre text, memetic effects, and documented the way in which the letters are readable no matter what script they are in. As the Stricture became less and less effective in suppressing SRMD SU rose to this challenge by releasing strictures over a period of years ending with the The Latitant Macrophobic Limaciform Stricture in 2971.
+
But what is the nature of the Strictures themselves? The structure of even the First is mathematically infinite; binding-effects allow infinite syllables to be recited or scribed within moments. Observe: the echo of an echo, stilled image that takes the form of the terminus-facing worldwound in the exoskeleton of the Central Order. See what lies within, older than time. Written into stone crystalized from the dreams of dead gods, laws which are Strictures which are the bones of reality. These are older things than any petty institutions; they are old as the swirling chaos beyond the beyond.
+
Indeed, this is the source of sapience itself! The Seven, gods in their own right! But we were foolish, foolish in our desires, selfish desires to bind, to mine, to harvest and extract and sell. To think that we could have contained them.
And that brings us to you. Yes, yes you. Icarus flies toward the sun, but where Strictures United failed, I shall succeed! My Icarus comes to swallow the sun! Once I consume your souls, I will become! As! GOD!
+
MWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH
+
E. Eurythian, formerly Philosopher-King of Lucin's World and GOD-KING, DEVOURER OF MANKIND
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Strictures United Quarterly Financial Update
+
Normally I wouldn't read something so boring as a quarterly financial update, and I take it that any man or woman of good sense wouldn't either, but as a Scriptorium scribe, I have to attend to the whole text in order to copy it. Because of this, I have made the horrifying discovery that Strictures United has been publishing their evil plans in plain sight, a fact unrealized until now, as nobody has ever bothered to read one of these. Take heed of the attached document.
+
STRICTURES UNITED
+Q2 3014
+
Ladies and gentlemen, it has been another successful quarter for Strictures United. As is our tradition in Q2 financial updates, I will review our secret plans.
+
As you know, our mission began with Vandal Von Doomsday's discovery in 2028 of the Terminal Void beneath our Central Order. There he communed with an eldritch and nameless force and received its blessing. He returned from his sojourn and wrote the Stricturnomicon, a record of all his dark wisdom. Fortunately, the blessing of the Terminal Void remained on the fringes, never a threat to the continued existence of human civilization. Nevertheless, we took action, knowing that this peace was only the existence within the Void biding its time. Through our shell company, Evil Goods Incorporated, we acquired all known copies of the Stricturnomicon, studied Von Doomsday's dark wisdom, and developed the science of logomancy in order to bind the darkness forever.
+
With the power of Von Doomsday guided by the wisdom of logomancy, we created the Binding Stricture, the first and greatest of our creations, which would allow us to bind the abstract to the corporeal. We tested the limits of our newfound powers, both binding to something that already existed as well as creating something anew. Finally, with confidence in our abilities, we sent the Binding Stricture with EGI's last expedition to the Terminal Void, and there bound the various aspects of the darkness within six new Strictures: in their current order, the Leeching, Reversing, Breaching, Cleaving, Piercing, and Unwritten Strictures.
+
Would that this were the end of the story. Not a year after we wrapped up our clandestine activities and shut down EGI, the evil we had bound stirred in its sleep, breaching all of our defenses and infecting everyone with SRMD. In a panic, we released our Strictures to walk among the people, in the hopes that their passive binding effects would prevent utter disaster. When the Seven began to be insufficient, we released even our prototypes. This stemmed the tide, until two years ago. While we were attempting to use yotta computing to discover more about the unnamed darkness, it stirred again, which disrupted the Seven's daily flamenco parade through the streets of the Central Order. The Fourth tripped and fell onto the Seiropolis, breaching the containment (we suspect sabotage). In the mess that followed, things generally went to hell.
+
This, of course, has been no obstacle to our plans. With our new zetta computing paradigm, we will finally be able to merge the Terminal Void existence with our new Thirteenth Stricture. As long as the evil bound within the Seven doesn't leak out, our victory is assured, and this will all have been worth it.
+
Sincerely,
+Andrew Carnelian
+President of Strictures United
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Bear Inquisition
+
Talking with Q had left me with a lot of questions and a pounding headache where my memory of the conversation should be. I knew Strictures United was employing mad logomancers to awake the Thirteenth Stricture for some nefarious reason. But I was realizing that the intricacies of this case were about to flutter over my head like a butterfly with a superiority complex. I didn't know anything about Logomancy. That meant I needed to talk to the nun-scholars of the Scriptorium.
+
Rubbing the back of my head, I strolled to the ancient campus, glancing appreciatively at the ivy-covered stone. That lasted all of four seconds before I heard needles ricocheting off the building next to me. I swore and dove for cover. I'd almost made it when two tons of furry fury tore through the fabric of space like a St. Bernard that didn't see the screen door, bowling me over so hard it knocked the wind out of my next of kin. The Ursinquisitor pulled out of a roll, rising up on its hind legs and bellowing at the sky, twelve feet of muscle rippling under its engraved armor and luscious fur.
+
The Bear Inquisition was a mysterious organization. Fanatically devoted to the Strictures and opposed to mad science in its entirety, little was known of its inner workings by those outside of it. They were based out of the Unnamed City, and supposedly protecting something important inside, but the details never made it out—partly because the other thing the Bear Inquisition did was travel the land and stomp out people who share those kinds of details. When an Ursinquisitor arrived, anyone with sense ran away.
+
"Alright, you oversized rodent!" yelled an elderly nun, advancing across the green and holding the bear in the sights of a monster shotgun. "Back off unless you want an extra ear hole!"
+
The sight of the gun seemed to enrage the bear even further. I held perfectly still. It'd be okay unless he started chanting the Strictures.
I muffled a groan of pain and starting pulling my bruised body under the bushes, which is the only logical response when an Ursinquitor starts chanting the Strictures. But apparently the five foot tall, eighty-year-old nun was not logical, because she cracked her knuckles and said with a gleam in her eye, "The bullets hurt less."
+
Her first punch lifted the bear off the ground. Before gravity could do its wicked work, she'd leapt into the air and kicked him back down. But instead of breaking his spine in the fall, the Ursinquisitor rolled with the fall and came up swinging. The nun blocked or dodged several attacks before the bear lifted her up by her habit and drop-kicked her through the window of the library.
+
A stream of curses emanated from the broken window. The Urisinquisitor snarled and leapt through the broken window. A very loud and deep thud escaped the the window, followed immediately by a yelp and shortly after by the bear himself. A voice within the library shouted, "Wait, Sister Avacillata, you can't just—" but was cut off when Sister Avacillata emerged at the window wielding an entire bookcase above her head.
+
"You like the Strictures?" she shouted. "Then it's time for some book learnin'!"
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Binding Stricture
+
Communique 89 :// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 010192-23:/ CalypsoNet
+
"The evil will lead the blind, for as long as the blind refuse to open their eyes."
+-Thelemas Tier, A Simple Bear
+
From: Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Marcellus,
+
You may be shocked and confused by my manner of address--I assure you it is the least shocking revelation which I will unfold in the course of this, my final missive.
+
It has come to my attention that there is a deep rot, not only in the core of the Orders, but in the heart of Ursinquisitus, a cancer, a rot that although well hidden and much perfumed was impossible to hide forever. He who has muzzle to smell, let him smell.
+
The Ursinquisitus is aligned with Corruption and the Void. This is the obvious and necesscary conclusion from the evidence. Consider accounts of the use of the Strictures and the accompanying--and well known to the Ursinquisitus--release of corruption. Our own Wrathrunes were designed to shunt away such corruption in the event an Ursinquisitor were forced to employ a Stricture in combat. How is it that we tacitly use corruption, even against our enemies? Does not a den divided against itself crumble?
+
Moreover, I was even willing, with your guidance, to intentionally tear the Aether, unleashing raw corruption on the Orders to wipe them from existence. What purity is this that stains its paws with filth even as it washes its fur? The Six Eternal Strictures that so long we have venerated and to which we have adhered are merely corruption incarnate. Everything I have believed is a lie.
+
There is hope, however, perhaps not for the Ursinquisitus--although possibly if there is redemption for me there is redemption also for my brothers, even you, Brother Marcellus--but certainly for the survival of the Orders and their inhabitants.
+
The Binding Stricture. Not as concept, not as Eternal Stricture qua corruption incarnate, but in the form of a simple woman. I believe that she is the incarnation of the original Stricture from Strictures United. I believe she holds the power to bind the shattered remnants of the Orders, to bind the corporeal and the abstract and heal the Void.
+
As I speak, I sit in the middle of a group of refugees in a simple public house, the pocket of resistance, revolution, perhaps simply rebirth. The woman is here. The one who can save us all. She does not yet know what I suspect, although the others do and agree that she is our best hope for the future.
+
We are a strange and motley assortment of fellows: A young woman who unknowingly holds great power, a Sister of the Scriptorium who seems more in bearing like an Ursinquisitus than a human woman, let alone a Nun-Scholar--she finds this a high compliment and gleefully reminds me of it whenever she wins an arm wrestling match--a paranoid man who seems to know the inner-workings of almost everything, a tired Private Investigator who--if his stories are to be believed--seems nigh-immortal(or lucky beyond belief), and a Senior Prepositionalist of staggering linguistical might and complexity.
+
And of course, myself. An ex-Ursinquisitor, a judge, a penitent, a hero or perhaps a monster, a survivor and a destroyer. A simple bear. There will be no further missives. I hereby formally renounce the heresy of the Ursinquisitous, of the False Strictures and their corruption, and any allegiance henceforth to the same.
+
If I have any allegiance, it is to Miss Summers, and the hope all we of The Sons of Earth share for a new future.
+
With great wrath to all corruption, and with greater hope for redemption,
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Breaching Stricture
+
Notice, notice, notice here my poor petty pretties that the Strictures have order; therefore they uphold the Order. Order of what description? It doesn't matter. Central, acentral, spurious, inner or outer. Take your pick.
+
The Orders appear to your eyes, as they once did mine, as land floating through an infinite sky. One, a deathscape. Yet another, an endless city; a third, an endless rolling country, idyllic from afar, but made entirely of worms, rot, and lies.
+
These are accidents, not essence. We live as bacteria upon the back of a dust speck to the world which once was. The Orders are bastions against chaos, pieces of that world preserved through use of the Strictures against the timeless march of entropy. Perhaps the World That Was underwent some failure of existence. Perhaps it did not. But now we live in a pale shadow of former glory.
+
What I have learned has worried me. The Breaching Stricture works against the integrity of a thought, mind, concept... anything that can be thought of as having coherent structure. Opening holes within it... For it to fall is both self-referential and troubling. What is next? The Binding Stricture should bind itself?
+
The Breaching Stricture also seems to have special power and association with a specific type of pants that stop at or around the knees. I'm not really sure why this is.
There is something or someone within the Order, in the institution known as Strictures United which I cannot for all my power touch. It is vast and powerful, but a created thing. I sense the strictures upon it but it is not of them. There is a womanwhoseems a locus of this power. Who - what, indeed - is she?
+
Another note on this person who seems to all the unknowing as a mere intern/vice president/whatever:
+
The odd numbered strictures refer to aspects of reality (or unreality). Piercing, breaching, leeching... have you not noticed, dear ones, that all the even numbered Strictures imply destruction? What is it that they were meant to destroy?
+
Think on this next time you speak with the Summers girl.
+
E. Eurythian, THE ASCENDED, GOD OF NOTED SCHOLARS, formerly philosopher-king of Lucin's World.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Calamitous Stricture
+
The sobriquet "The Calamitous Stricture" is something of a misnomer. Any official statement of the Seven Strictures is accompanied by an apocalyptic warning about what will happen should the Strictures fail to be kept. It eventually became common to refer to this warning as the "Zeroth Stricture", and because the Seven have traditional titles along the pattern of "The <Adjective> Stricture", the Zeroth soon acquired the title of "The Calamitous Stricture", despite the fact that it is not a Stricture proper.
+
The nature of the disaster foretold in the Calamitous Stricture remained the subject of intense academic debate up until the Happenstancening. Until then, the prevailing hermeneutical theory had alleged that the references to SRMD were metaphorical. When it did happen, this theory was suddenly and horrifyingly debunked. But I guess that's what happens when you let half-wits like the esteemedDr. Vin run the The Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up. Being re-ensouled into a tech'd-up junker car after his untimely demise clearly didn't do wonders for his intellect, but somehow having no hands is the greater obstacle to his ability to do his job. Who'd have thought that you would need hands to operate the labyrinthine control panel of the Ministry's Dediscombobulator? Maybe everyone who voted against him?
+
And let's not forget who's really responsible for this grand old mess we're in. I know it's rude to speak ill of the dead, but honestly, fuck 'em. So much of their middle management and executive corps died in the fallout of the Happenstancening that they've had to delegate nearly everything to their interns. Meanwhile, the surviving executives are collecting the pay of their fallen comrades. When will the iron fist of justice crush these reprobates? When will the Scriptorium approve my personal leave for unspecified, certainly non-vengeance reasons?
+
Forget this, I'm going to go on a bar crawl and pick fights with the aethercycle gangs.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Fellowship of the Living Word
+
War... war never changes.
+
Until the part where you break out some KICKASS POWER ARMOR and go a RAMPAGING THROUGH THE STREETS of WHERE THE FUCK EVER!
+
BOOYAH!
+
With a couple exceptions they don't let you out of the Fellowship until you've achieved rulership, so the last couple hundred of us are Lucin's World natives ever since that transporter accident with Original Eurythian and Von Doomsday. That apparently means that when one of us merges with the Archives in the Scriptorium and the other consumes half a million orphans it tends to do things to you. Like unnatural speed and this weird hunger for people's gall bladders. For me it's the gall bladder, I know Eddie here prefers liver.
+
Anyway as a devout Noted Scholar (third class, rank upsilon) it's my job to kick some bear asses and chew orphan-soul gum. And the entire world has nearly run out of orphans (well, until recently that is).
+
This would be a bit more of a shitshow but for two major reasons (other than the whole 'powered by forsaken children' thing of course).
2. I kind of forgot what 2. was gonna be because like, the Leeching Stricture just kicked in and
+
3. o yea we stole Stricture based logomancy from SU, which would USUALLY drive you totally nutso to use the way we been using but like, when your psychic register links right to a sapient library it can kinda offload the madness into random gibberish and offshunted energies that cause spontaneous surprise parties. Mostly.
+
4. Of course since the most SURPRISING party is one in which your gall bladder is suddenly and generously donated to a kind, scholarly Noted Scholar over here,
+
6. goddamn I'm hungry.
+
5. and you are full of blood and meat and electricity and fats, fatty acids, amniotic fluids and chyme and synovia and dreams and hopes and rage and lymph
+
8. stuff and fill and glut and swallow chew consume drink leech slurp gulp swallow
+
9. rip n tear rip n tear RIP AND TEAR RIP AND TEAR RIP AND TEAR
+
9. YOU ARE A BEAR THAT MEANS YOU HAVE HUGE GUTS
+
9. RIP AND TEAR YOUR GUTS
+
Sorry. That probably wasn't very scholarly. Thought it certainly was uh, surprising. bears dont go down easy i tell u that. For some reason the Happe go down even harder. Should look into recruiting them or sommat.
+
Fuck this place is going down the tubes. The Ascended is moving off, so we beat a retreat - LET the bears have the Central Order. What's left here anyway?
+
We've got an even juicier target all swollen with blood and sebum and cerebral-spinal fluid. Left alone by the Order ever since the Unwritten Stricture rendered it unnameable.
But best of all, it boasts the largest orphanage of ANYWHERE.
+
After-Action (and mid-action) report, E. Eurythian, Fellow third class (upsilon), former philosopher-king of Lucin's World and gall-bladder aficionado.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Happenstancening
+
THE HAPPENSTANCENING WAS AN INSIDE JOB!!! What, do you honestly think that Strictures United with all of their wealth and power couldn't keep the Strictures themselves sustained?? It is a well-documented FACT that the strictures have never been known to fall on their own and yet here we are with two years of destruction and devastation that came from the Strictures flickering. Who is in charge of the Strictures and tasked with keeping them sustained and has been shuffling around employees in an attempt at a cover up in order to shift blame AND has benefited immensely and become the as the single most powerful entity in all the orders?
+
Cathyr Van Sacrilege famously said that the hubris of humanity thinking we could bind the Strictures was not in thinking our technology would hold but rather our fickle and corrupt nature and her taunt has proven too true. And yet we allowed her to lay the foundations for the company regardless of the smirk in her smile and the gleam in her eye and we have been BETRAYED by the company that had so evil an origin.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Kappanstancing
+
The establishment thought they could silence the me from speaking the horrible truth they have hidden from the PEOPLE. Those have fiends have established the strictures, well known to all. But they have a secret set of strictures that have evolved, grown into something completely imaginary, the COMPLEX STRICTURES. I have said repeatedly the Happenstancening was an inside job, but what was not known was that it was a stricture itself set up by non other than Cathyr Van Sacrilege. The public does not know about it because it is a part of the imaginary set of strictures that's right they intentionally stricturized the Happenstancening making it become part of the fabric of reality we tread upon!
+
But for every complex number* there is a complex conjugate and The Happenstancening is no exception. The Kappanstancing is the equal opposite which came about from the society that relayed this information to me via encoded messages in the ingredients section of SUpe cans which indeed neutralized the villains in Strictures United and they could only have discovered how to manipulate reality in such a way which would explain why Earthson's Bar and Grill is under siege. How else do you think Vice President Vin met such a demise? Wake up sleepers!
+
REDACTED
+
*Of course this is a complex stricture, its effects are real and therefore it does indeed have a real part as well as its imaginary part.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The King's Altitude
+
When the Order of St. Aquila of the Pen, to which I belong, was first founded in the 12th century, it was charged with "promoting the sober study of edifying texts". However, due to a translation error and the undue zeal of its founding abbess, St. Annihilatrix the Vindictive, the Aquilines instead embarked on a ruthless campaign of imposed asceticism. With their well-known martial prowess, they conquered several city-states and forced those under their thrall to forgo the pleasures of fine foods, drink, and sex, in favor of studying ancient manuscripts. Unfortunately, a surprising number of the texts that populated their library were highly erotic in nature, ranging from evocative mystical treatises to simple conjugal manuals. The result was an excessive amount of, shall we way, "practical application" going in in the Order's scriptoria.
+
This came to an end with the ascension of St. Annihilatrix's successor, Bl. Purgess the One-Eyed. Bl. Purgess made a few attempts at stopping the goings-on, then gave up and commissioned the Hasta Regis Altissima, the Highest Lance of the King. The Altissima was equipped with aetheric technology that would not be discovered until the late 13th century, including a Dediscombobulator that allowed it to seek out and destroy hanky-panky from a safe altitude of ten thousand meters. This had two major effects: first, the destruction of most of the scriptoria where the goings-on were going on; and second, a rapid increase in technological advancement motivated by the need to stop Bl. Purgess from driving the human race to extinction.
+
The Aquiline menace was halted when the Improvised Order finally launched the combat philosopher Regina Knorff high enough to reach the Altissima, who then used the Binding Stricture to defeat Bl. Purgess and take control of the Order. Under the rule of Abbess Regina, the Order of St. Aquila returned to the one remaining scriptorium to begin the task of restoring the texts damaged by Bl. Purgess' policies and turned the Altissima over to royal control. On the order of the Crown Prince, Edgar Summers, it was rechristened The King's Altitude and became the winter home of the royal family and the base of operations of the Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up. There must have been some of Bl. Purgess' spirit bound to it, though, because it descended slowly over the next few decades, eventually wiping out several mountain villages.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Latitant Macrophobic Limaciform Stricture
+
Divinely and aptly named, the Latitant Macrophobic Limaciform Stricture (or “the Great LaMaLi,” at it prefers to be called, apparently), Stricture number unknown, is quite possibly among the oldest of the Strictures. Further, it is most likely related (by some ungodly happenstance) to the world-serpent of archaic lore. While this theory is, as all things are since the Happenstancening, as though new, it is, according to many Medievals, in fact quite old. A credible source recently (read: since the Happenstancening) observed Loki scratching under its ancient chinlike protrusion once when it scampered up from its hole of ageless loneliness and a longing—as only such beings can truly have—for the imminent end of the forthcoming present and reticent past.
+
Recently, with the failure of the Seven Strictures, as well as the recent movements of Strictures United, as well as the subtle smooth and altogether ubiquitous and perhaps malicious workings of Sequitor, rumors abound about the reality of the Latitant Macrophobic Limaciform Stricture (read: whether or not it is itself the only actual reality).
+
In any case, a nearly futuristically recent story has sprung up in the Outer Orders concerning the likeliness that Vice President Carnold of Grampul Subsection 3 may or not be Loki, as he too (read: possibly only) was seen scratching the Latitant Macrophobic Limaciform Stricture’s lonely chin.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Laws of the Strictures
+
I did my best to stay out of sight as I made my way back into the city. My last encounter with an Ursinquistor had left me with a limp, and from the way these ones were setting fire to everything around them, it seemed prudent to give them a wide berth. I saw a squad of four bears tear through a group of civilians, and I do mean that literally. They were shouting the Piercing Stricture in eerie unison, scything their claws through flesh and bone like a particularly splattery putty.
+
With every syllable, the doilies on their armor glowed, and I felt a dark, familiar tug on my bones. I hadn't felt that tug in two years. Last time I'd felt it, I'd...
+
Look. No one likes to talk about what they did during the Happenstancening, okay? It's considered something to avoid at all costs in polite company. But for the sake of explaining the whole story, I'll spill the beans. In my addled state, I'd reasoned that since logomancy was such a powerful force, I could make an unbeatable weapon by firing words at people. So I built a weapon that would teleport random encyclopediavolumes into the barrel, then fire them at immense speeds. I say all this to explain why I happened to have Volume 22 of The Laws of the Strictures among my possessions.
+
But before I could connect those dots, a mob of identical people in white robes charged the bears with a battle cry that used no vowels I've ever heard before or since. Yep, definitely Eurythians. The maniacal cultists fought the bears with anything from strange weapons cracking with unknown energies to their bare, if you'll pardon the pun, hands. Limbs flew everywhere—more than you'd expect, given the number of combatants—and then I lost sight of the battle due to a literal mist of blood. Then it ended, two Ursinquisitor survivors stepping into the Wanderway while a blood-drenched Eurythian raised his hands and cried "SPLEEEEEEEEENS!"
+
On closer examination, he had one clutched in each fist.
+
One of them galloped toward me, carrying an unconscious child under his remaining arm. Probably a freshly-minted orphan from the bears' massacre. "Good evening," he said, as if he were inviting me into his study and not not soaked in his own blood from a brutal melee. In either case, there's only one way to greet a Eurythian.
+
"My mother's fine and in good health," I said, nodding cordially. "How goes the war?"
+
"The Most Noted Scholar has suggested that we pull out of the Central Order," said the Eurythian. "We're just stopping for snacks on the way out." He took a bite out of the orphan's ear.
+
I frowned. "That's not good. What about those of us left behind?"
+
"Noted scholar Emile Eurythian said he saw a bunch of survivors hiding from the bears in a bar," said the Eurythian. "You could try your luck."
+
There could only be one bar he was talking about. There might yet be hope.
+
I dashed toward my apartment, which contained Volume 22 of The Laws of the Strictures. It was the final volume, as it so happened, and contained a secret of utmost importance: the knowledge of how to counter the greatest darkness of this world. That which the Inquisition calls the Great Weapon and what Strictures United calls the Terminal Void: Loki himself.
+
I headed for the bar, bursting through the door and waving the book over my head. "I've got the answer!" I shouted, before noticing I'd just torn a hole in a layer of tinfoil that covered the inside of the bar.
+
"They found me!" shouted a familiar voice behind me, and as I turned I saw Q rushing at me, and where had he found a hammer that big oh shit wait no no no—
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up
+
The Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up, from the Latin, quae in ministerium non futuit sursum, literally, "which is in the has sex with the service is not up," "the attendance of not penetrating above," and "which is in service have sex with him." Though scholars have translated this forth and back, back and forth, the multiplicity of meanings continues to this very hour. The last rendering has been accepted as computer error. It makes no sense.
+
In the early 14th century it was the task of this ministry to a) penalize any man who had sex at a greater present elevation than the king and b) to enact vetitum prolis on any man who elevated his lover above the current elevation of the king.
+
Needless to say, the ministry became inactive around the time that kings began succumbing to SRMD and began playing a role not unlike that of referee between science-people and religion-people. They began to die off shortly after, somewhat. Some remained until a time long remembered.
+
It was particularly important in those days to live, literally, beneath the king, or at the very least to procreate beneath him. This was true also of queens, sometimes, maybe, though they tended to be severely less strict. It was not uncommon then to live underground, especially if prone to sudden romp-rompings-in-the-hay, sweet-whoopy-makings, in-out-in-out-lovings, so on and etc. It was very important. Very.
+
Alternatively, "The Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up" may well have its origins in the nefarious elsewhere. Asia. This is perhaps the greatest reason why presently we have always been at war with Eastasia. This theory has been gaining almost unprecedented speed of acceptance. At moment of my fingers' very tap-tap-tapping it is in fact nearing light speed. [This bodes well for Strictures United, which could go without saying but has not.] Very soon indeed it will be in the ancient past.
+
In the aforementioned Eastasian theory the ministry finds its origins not from a law prohibiting futuit intuenti super regem but rather from the Eastasian language, namely the phrase il-eul mangchiji anhneun sayeog, literally, "the ministry that does not ruin work," and "the employment where was not the mess." For obvious reasons, this proverb has been misinterpreted as one of the Strictures. Recent evidence, however, has led most scholars on and off the matter to agree with absolute dissensio that it is not only a Stricture but is also a reference to Vin, Vice President Carnold, Larry, and Susanna Summers -- the very vice president of Strictures United itself! All of this has becoming very tiredly. The increasing activity of The Wanderway, the all but epidemic of SRMD, the arrival/arising of the strangeness of the Orders, not to mention the almighty ambiguity of the origin of the Strictures, it leaves one all but yawning for the end.
+
Given the subject of the article, the Strictures must be addressed through more than mere happenstance. The Strictures, sincere evidence suggests, are not human. This is news. Further, whatever animates them is, most likely, not human. It may well be that the strictures animate--or in the case of the Ministry of Not Screwing Things Up (number unknown)-- deanimate humans, at least in the sense of restricting reproduction.
+
Further, and finally, given all of these recent developments, we must send an expedition to find out the king's altitude. Reproduction is dropping nearly as fast as the aforementioned theory is gaining traction. Further, and truly lastly (whether or not the Vin-Larry-Summer is responsible (whether or not it deals in the least with Vin's recent/eternal handicap or chin-scratchings), we must find existence and ask it that simplest but most necessary of questions: Why?
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Order which is Definitely Not Central
+
Our world is filled with chaotic Orders. This is one of them.
+
The OWIDNC is the territory theoretically located between the Lateral Order and the Antipode Order, but somewhere below the Uncentral Order. Strictures United insists that the OWIDNC is upheld by four stricture-like entities, and the OWIDNC insists that it has seen no such articles. This opens the possibility of hidden strictures, but such things are forbidden to speculate upon ever since the Great Infectioning.
+
Indeed, the existence of the OWIDNC is speculatory at this point, due to the Happenstancening's uncoupling effect of nation-states along very precise geographical boundaries. As the OWIDNC was disputed territory between the Spurious and Improvised Orders, it is entirely probable that the entire territory crumbled to dust from the strain.
+
Statements from the Green House (the governmental entity of the OWIDNC) have maintained that the OWIDNC does indeed still exist, and that its trade embargoes against the Central Order remain in effect. Spokesman Cathyr Van Sacrilege of the Order which is Definitely Not Central's Ministry of Happiness prepared this written statement:
+
we exist u fagrats. u cant ignore us, we c u flying ur aetherships by wit ur fingers in ur ears yelling lalalalala we cant see u. its hurtful cmon bru. also heil Satan
+
Eyewitness accounts note that the OWIDNC may or may not exist, as a fuzzy ghostlike blur out the corners of eyes, possibly due to refusal to look directly at the Order itself. Questions as to whether passers by do indeed have their fingers in their ears yelling 'lalalalala' are unfounded, as questioners tend to stick their fingers in their ears and yell "lalalalala". It is unknown whether these are memetic effects due to the Happenstancening, or whether another, simpler explanation is at play, like racism.
+
Stay tuned for more reports as events warrant.
+
E. Eurythian, News Anchor for Channel π, formerly Philosopher-King of Lucin's World
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Piercing Stricture
+
Communique 51:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 85112-:/ CalypsoNet
+
"Pierce and cut
+Stab and slice
+But build ye not
+A grand Device!"
+
Utter these words only in time of great peril, for the speaking of the Stricture shall pierce through all that is unworthy, as the blade passes between the bone and the flesh." --On Purity Regarding the Use of Battle Strictures, Brother Lantitum the Vengeful
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier of the 5th Great Crusade
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
The beginning of the Great 5th Crusade is underway. As I mentioned in a previous communique, there is tremendous corruption and unrest spreading from the Central Order and in fact I now have reason to believe that the corruption has become concentrated to lethal levels and wiped out most of the population of the Central Order.
+
In some ways this heresy is the root of its own undoing, but I fear that this outbreak of Aetherial filth will now spread unhindered by whatever machinations were previously put in place by the Soul Wounded. It is time to bring flame and the purity of ash to this world.
+
Because of the dire situation that presents itself, I was forced in a moment of great catastrophe to utter the Piercing Stricture.
+
I am of course aware of the restrictions and limitations placed on such an evocation, given the risk posed to one's purity of soul, I deemed it necessary.
+Accordingly I uttered The Stricture, and evoked the Deep Word it contains and names, in order pierce the essential structure of an enemy weapon of great power. It was then a simple matter to shatter it with my bare claws and destroy it utterly. I would not have done this, save that the weapon was crafted with technology and stank of Science.
+
After the events resolved and I returned to safety I began the ritual prayers and ablutions to cleanse my soul of the taint of the Void. Fortunately my armour remained mostly unharmed from the activation of the Stricture, thanks to the Wrathrunes placed upon it by Brother Fulmaethor. As usual, they held at bay the corruption coiled and loosed by the use of a Stricture.
+
There is a curiosity that has grown in my mind for some time and given me no peace such that it requires me to lay it bare before you now. How is it that the Strictures, which hold corruption and chaos and the void at bay, upon their use expose one to those same elements? It seems blasphemous to suggest, but the simplest explanation seems to me to be that the directed use and evocation of a stricture somehow negates it for a moment in a specific targeted way. As if the stricture were suspended momentarily and in a small area.
+This leads me to a strange thought and fear: perhaps the Great Destruction was not intentional. Perhaps it was the result of a greed for power, and the Strictures being used as weapons of war.
+If we are to wage this Crusade against corruption, how are we to avoid the unleashing of a greater corruption yet?
+Please forgive my doubts and absolve me of any heretical thoughts.
+
I remain humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier, Ursinquisitor, 3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries, Boneroarer of the 5th Great Crusade.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Twelve Strictures for Self Assured Safety
+
They say the Fourth fell first. That was suspicious, since you'd expect things to stay sane until the First went down. I'm no academic, but I had the next best thing.
+
Ol' Jonah lazily slung my scotch along the sticky countertop like an elephant swats a fly with its tail. We went way back; I'd had his back when the Central Order had deployed us to deconvert those damned Happe from their apocalypse cult. He says he doesn't blame me for the spear that took his leg, but he lets me drink myself to death anyways.
+
Ol' Jonah didn't move much anymore, but he heard everything. And I didn't like what he'd heard tonight.
+
"Strictures United is trying to distance itself from the disaster," he said. "They're pretending there's always been twelve Strictures, not to mention adding a 'Thirteenth' that washes their hands of all this."
+
I glanced at the document he flashed me.
+
"Shit," I said, recognizing Andrew Carnelian's signature on the memo. He was the president of Strictures United, every bit the handsome executive: respectable grey hair, commanding build, eyes like a butcher's cleaver and teeth like a shark. "They're just gonna pretend the Central Order doesn't exist anymore?"
+
"President Carnelian seems pretty firm about it," said Ol' Jonah.
+
I grimaced. The devout recite the Strictures every day. The craziest of them take them literally instead of as useful guidelines. If that Thirteenth Stricture went through, Strictures United was going to cause a mass migration out of the Central Order. People were already on their back foot in here, but the flood of refugees would cause the entire Central Order to collapse. Most of them would have nowhere to go.
+
"How much for the document?"
+
"A gift for an old friend."
+
"Sure," I said. I overpaid him for my scotch, snatched the document, and slunk out into the rainy night.
+
So, the president of Strictures United was trying to empty out the subsection.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Unwritten Stricture
+
Paradoxically named, the Seventh Stricture is the only stricture for which the full and precise mathematical structure has been modeled, despite its infinite length.
+
Algorithms capable of processing Strictures encounter two major hurdles:
+
1. the infinite size of the stricture
+
2. the unbounded sapience experienced by any algorithm which passes the first hurdle.
Such techniques require a certain amount of power. Unfortunately, the recent ascension of noted scholar Evarian Eurythian has caused a wordwide shortage of orphan souls.
+
A leak allows access to a perfect fractal model of the Unwritten Stricture. First-pass analysis of the first segments reveals that this has an unmaking effect on matter, concepts, and sense of self. Indeed, I myself have found that I have become a simple arrangement of text within an archive somewhere. There is likely a reason the Happe refer to this stricture in their own tongue with the same word they use to speak of the Void, or the number zero. The Seventh is, in its own way, nothingness. This may explain the title; the Seventh is not itself unwritten insomuch as it refers to the act of unwriting parts of our reality. As Strictures United likely would not have any incentive in releasing even such a small hint to the nature of this stricture, lest its true and sinister utility be revealed, we can infer that the names of the Strictures themselves are inextricably tied to each Stricture.
+
The first line can be analyzed below, though as usual, be warned that long-term exposure to the Strictures is inadvisable.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
The Wanderway
+
The Wanderway is a high-speed aetheric current that encircles the planet. Its name is due to constant fluctuation of its path with respect to latitude, though to date it has yet to approach within 15 degrees of the poles. Because of this fluctuation, it is nearly useless for any serious aetheric travel, though it remains a subject of intense scientific study. Aetheric currents generally become too unstable to use at a circumference of about three miles, and so the Wanderway's relative stability compared to theoretical predictions gives many researchers hope for improvement on smaller scales.
+
The Wanderway is, of course, still used. Over short distances, it is even safe to do so. This remains difficult to take advantage of, because there is no guarantee that the Wanderway will be nearby when one needs it, or that it won't have any curves too sharp for aetheric payloads to navigate without falling out. Even worse, if it shifts too quickly (which happens often enough to be a concern), everything inside may be ejected and left stranded, flying through the air on their previous trajectory.
+
Today, the Wanderway is impossible to use without heavy armor or well-shielded aetheric transports. Some cabal of crazies took the Sixth a little too literally and dumped a vast quantity of needles, nails, and other small, sharp objects into the Wanderway, which continue to appear out of nowhere with the force of bullets as it shifts.
+
Despite all of this, Ursinquisitors continue to attempt to make use of it for long-distance travel, resulting in the occasional aetheric rift appearing out of nowhere and spitting out a heavily-armed bear at a speed matched only by its rage. The Scriptorium's location appears to be a particularly hot spot for this, which causes me no end of grief as the sisters keep calling me from my other duties to deal with these intruders.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Typhus Stormbreaker
+
While he is best known among the Orders for his role as virtual commander in Larry's Conquest, Typhus Stormbreaker continued to accomplish great things with his life, especially after it properly began.
+
Upon returning to his people, the Sequitor, Typhus Stormbreaker introduced the new technology taught (perhaps inadvertently) by Larry and was elevated to real commander with no small amount of pomp, virtual and figurative explosions, and, for the first time in their histories, real explosions. The Sequitor, a race of most peculiar ability and limits, a rare mingling of virtual, fleshy, and figurative blood, had not at this point in time invented any use for gunpowder. They had invented gunpowder, of course, but its possible uses had evaded the minds of their virtual-fleshy-figurative blood. It was to them a grand mystery. They treasured it like they treasured fire, though they kept them in separate capitals. The only known reason for this is their oral tradition. According to Fion’s account of Mion’s account of Renot’s account of Golb’s account of Temnor’s account of Salif’s account of Bob’s dying words, “The servants of Fire were angry. I tickled them with the black sand and I exploded most direly. Do not tickle the Fire.” After these words he died, according to Jimmy, Fion’s brother. Bob was once very respected among the Sequitor. His name meant, in their speech, more or less, “going up and down with the timing of things.” This was a good name. It is now a bad name.
+
While the Sequitor have yet to discover a use for gunpowder beyond hoarding it, they have since learned to make explosions thanks to Typhus Stormbreaker. Among the Sequitor, even those who have been elevated to real or figurative status have the innate virtual ability of instantaneous resolution. It took Typhus Stormbringer’s victory as virtual commander under Larry to realize the uses of this. (Previously it had happened only accidentally, which is why Sequitor do not run in large numbers.) T
+
As a result of these innovations, the Sequitor became a mining people. They erected great towers with clever footholds to drive drills, rocks, and other such objects deep into the ground. They found that the gunpowder was less likely to tickle Fire if it was kept safe in large chambers beneath the Orders. These chambers have since been used to host great revelries, parties, and reproductive dances as, being underground as they are, they are as though guaranteed to be beneath the King's Altitude.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Unnamed City
+
Communique 58:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 94019-81:/ CalypsoNet
+
"In this place, long contested over many years, we have made our home. We shall not move from this sacred city. It shall become our homeland. Our hallowed den, from which we shall sojourn to hunt heresy and within which we guard the heart of our order." --Words spoken on the dedication of the Ursinquitous Great Den, by Venerable Father Malthus the Wise
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
The crusade goes well. The brothers you have sent to aid me in this noble endeavour have acquitted themselves well, several dying bravely with great fury and much destruction to the heretics.
+
I fear, however, that it may not be enough. As you well now, after the dissipation of Larry's Kingdom the Unnamed City remained vacant for centuries. When the Ursinquisitous made the City its new home, you know what we found there in the lower reaches, down in the dark. I fear we may need it. The Great Weapon.
+
Perhaps we may succeed in this mighty purge without it. But I hear that the corruption runs too deep, and that dire measures may be required. If we should fail, Hell itself may be unleashed. May the Great Bear guard us all in purity.
+
I have heard tell that refugees from the Central Order have made their way to the Unnamed City. I am concerned at this news, unless there is perhaps a deeper wisdom to this act of apparent "mercy." I will not make my suspicion known here, for fear of it falling into enemy hands, but I do wonder if this is not unlike the clever machinations of Arbiter Zelonititus in the 3rd Great Crusade. If it is so, then perhaps the Great Weapon can be put to use to purge this corruption once and for all in a great roar of blood.
+
I remain humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier, Ursinquisitor, 3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries, Boneroarer of the 5th Great Crusade.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Vin, Vice President Carnold
+
Don't just accept whatever common narrative is fed to you by the propaganda of the corporate machine spewing whatever filth they intend to use to control not only you but every man, woman, and child in this entire plane of existence. I have found encoded in the pages of several subtly written books of commentary on Wittgenstein that our own Vice President of Grampul Subsection 3, Carnold Vin is a pawn that's right a cog in the machine designed to control the people. I've seen past the lies, what, like the fourth stricture just fell on its own? It was taken down from within and the architect of its demise is none other our beloved Grampul Subsection 3 Vice President.
+
But it goes deeper than that I know that there was a massive cover up and that there is no way that the collapse of the fourth stricture would cause the failure of the essential Seirapolis and some fiend other than Vin must have shut down the energy reactors at the same precise moment Vin caused the catastrophic failure of stricture 4 which points to a conspiracy far larger than any of us can comprehend because after all who could orchestrate not only the failure of Seirapolis and have a Vice President in their pocket and only be found by whatever society has to be so deep undercover that they pass messages in dense books on philosophical math? The questions never end but there is one thing that is for certain and that is that we are dealing with a full-blown deep conspiracy.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Void and Stricture: Reality as the Dance of Presence and Absence
+
Presence looked at the damp knife in his hands and felt worried.
+
He walked over to the window and reflected on his futile surroundings. He had always loved vague Strictures Dance Ring with its salty, squealing Shining Dance Floors. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel worried.
+
Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Absence . Absence was a vile god with wobbly abs and sticky toes.
+
Presence gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was an intuitive, bold, bourbon drinker with slimy abs and chubby toes. His friends saw him as a vast, violet volcano. Fire in the eyes like Great Bear's Veins. Once, he had even helped a decomposing baby flamingo cross the road.
+
But not even an intuitive person who had once helped a decomposing baby flamingo cross the road, was prepared for what Absence had in store today.
+
The wind blew like jogging owls, aromas of Earthson's Bar and Grill flew in from the distance, making Presence jumpy.
+
As Presence stepped outside and Absence came closer, he could see the vague glint in his eye.
+
"I am here because I want a dance," Absence bellowed, in a brave tone. He slammed his fist against Presence's chest, with the force of 4102 snakes. "I frigging hate you, Presence ."
+
Presence looked back, even more jumpy and still fingering the damp knife. "Absence, reality is vague and futile," he replied.
+
They looked at each other with anxious feelings, like two racid, real rabbits drinking at a very snooty Flamenco Dance-Off, which had classical music playing in the background and two callous uncles alongside Cathyr Van Sacrilege bopping to the beat.
+
Suddenly, Absence lunged forward and tried to punch Presence in the face. Quickly, Presence grabbed the damp knife and brought it down on Absence's skull.
+
Absence's wobbly abs trembled and his sticky toes wobbled. He looked puzzled, his body raw like a grisly, gorgeous gun.
+
Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Absence was dead.
+
Presence went back inside and made himself a nice drink of bourbon.
+
Susanna Summers, Vice President of Strictures United, Front Desk Manager, Records Recovery, etc.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Water-Free Water
+
Are you water-free and tired of dealing with the problems that come with it? Well, good news for all you sea-liacs out there, because a crack team of genuine, reliable researchers has created a product that will blow your minds!
+
Did you know? Of the 23 self-identifying H2Obophobes who responded to the survey, 39% said they were against water for ethical reasons. "A poet writes of a lake of ice in the deepest layer of hell," one surveyor stated, "Mix that with the firey upper half and what do you get? The devil's liquid."
+
It breaks my heart to know that many these people are living with serious conditions, such as dry-mouth syndrome or simply dying of dehydration. But all these problems are about to be solved forever, with the unveiling of our new miracle product, Water-Free Water!
+
What did you say? Water-Free Water? How is that even possible? By harnessing the power of aetheric currents, researchers were able to isolate the core essence of not-water-ness and infuse it into this revolutionary new beverage. Our manufacturing process is completely natural; some believe primitive species were exploiting it even before the 'Stancening.
+
So what are you waiting for? If you're experiencing any of the issues I mentioned, or if you just want to get in on the hottest new drink, get some Water-Free Water today!
+
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm a little thirsty. I think I'll just grab a bottle of... hey, you're not still recording, are you?
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
White Lab Coats
+
They say that in some parts of the Antipode Order, the sidewalks get hot enough to fry an egg on. Brings a new meaning to "sunny side up." Waste of an egg, if you ask me, but no one ever asks me.
+
People also say that you can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs. As I walked through the gloomy drizzle, I caught a glimpse of the broken sphere that used to be the Seirapolis. One hell of a broken egg, that one. They hadn't finished rebuilding the destruction from when the Strictures ran loose after the energy reactors went down. I shuddered to think what kind of omelet was getting cooked up from that.
+
Lighting a cigarette, I decided to check up on a contact of mine who might know more about what SU was planning. He was a bit of a reticent fellow, refusing to go by anything other than "Q". From what I knew of the man(?), it probably wasn't even his real initial. But he was an absolute tech whiz, and if anyone had deeper access to SU's systems, it'd be him.
+
The apartment complex was dilapidated and full of unsavory characters. I guess I look like a bit of an unsavory character myself, because none of them gave me any trouble beyond intimidating glares. I found my way to a darkened hallway. The tripwires didn't pose much of a problem, unless you count the one that set my trenchcoat on fire.
+
With a light knock on his door, I flung myself backward so the flamethrower behind the door wouldn't flash-broil me.
+
"Who are you? How did you find this location?" snapped a distorted voice through a speaker.
+
"It's Murph, and you gave me directions last time you had an anonymous tip that couldn't be spoken over the phone." Ten bucks said this wasn't his real location, either, but if I brought that up he might activate the proximity mines.
+
"Hah! They've got all of the phones, I tell you! Might as well mail them a transcript of your day!"
+
"I'm wondering what else they've got," I said. "Can you tell me anything about Carnelian's plans for Central?"
+
"It's all about the Thirteenth, I tell you," said the voice. "All of Carnelian's memos sum to a multiple of thirteen if you convert them to binary and add the ones together!"
+
"Do you know what they're going to use the Thirteenth for?"
+
"Nothing yet. They've got to bring it to life first," said the voice. "I've hacked the security cameras in their logomantic research wing. Do you know what I saw?"
+
"Not a clue."
+
"Perfect. Stay the hell out of my head." The voice paused for a moment, then continued. "Anyways, Mr. Reynolds, I saw white lab coats."
+
I whistled. You only see white lab coats on people who have gone off the deep end — for example, I had no doubt my friend Q here was wearing one. That meant Strictures United had to be employing actual mad scientists. Mighty suspicious for an organization dedicated to preventing that.
+
"The implications are obvious," the voice continued.
+
"Of course," I lied. "Well, I'm off to investigate some mad logomancers. You know where to find me."
+
"Goodbye. Mind the privacy hammer on your way out."
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Wise Bob, the Sequitor who Exploded Most Direly
+
Communique 63:// #subsector 5, High Office Chamberlain
+
AethID 06660-09:/ CalypsoNet
+
"When the heretic assails without fear, when corruption coils around all, when madness and chaos abound, seek then your consolation in blood. Offer no longer salvation to the undeserving, but drown them with damnation." Last proclamation of Brother Albright the Sanguine Rage, Chief Warbear of the 4th Great Crusade, moments before the massacre of the 5 Cities and the Red Tide.
+
From: Ursinquisitor Thelemas Tier
+
Greetings Blessed Chamberlain of All Fury,
+
The great work has been accomplished.
+
All has been prepared and events have been set in motion which now cannot be undone. The Great Weapon has been loosed.
+
As you know, the curiously named "Wise Bob" was a figure of no little repute in the annals and traditions of the Sequitor people. Though we have had few dealings with them across the years, some of their lore has indeed passed into the memory of the Ursinquisitous. Although his name appears to me as something of a misappellation-- given that he appears to have died from self-inflicted wounds incurred from interaction with the Great Weapon--perhaps it is the lesson learned vicariously by his actions that is the source of the so-called wisdom.
+
Likewise, we know the Sequitors learned from this wisdom and hid the Great Weapon deep underground, safe from the touch of fire that would awaken it. Surprisingly, with perhaps a primitive instinct and awareness, they dug leagues of tunnels that follow the precise course of the Great Bear's Veins, with the Great Weapon stockpiled at the tunnels' ends, located deep within the hearts of the various Orders.
+
Our Crusade, on account of dire need, has prepared these stockpiles, and sent the refugees from the Central Order on "meditative pilgrimages" to the stockpiles. They are there repeating their "wellness mantra" constantly, in shifts.
+
When the Great Weapon is awoken, the constant recitation of the Piercing Stricture will open the aether, channeling a torrent of Fire and Void into the heart of every Order, and thus cleansing them in a great conflagration which will then collapse into Nothingness, obliterating all trace of the Orders as well as the infected refugees from the Central Order.
+
Wrathrunes have been placed in the prescribed sigils around the Unnamed City to protect it from any residual Void or damage and cutting it off from the aether.
+
By the time this message reaches you, the Great Weapon will have been unleashed, and corruption will have been thus purged from the Orders.
+I may not be able to communicate for some time as the aether will be blocked with the final Wrathrune as soon as this message is transmitted.
+
All is now in the claws of the Great Bear.
+
I remain humble in your service, and with great wrath to all corruption,
+
Brother Thelemas Tier, Ursinquisitor, 3rd Order of the Blooded Claw and Penitent of All Mysteries, Boneroarer of the 5th Great Crusade.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Wrathrunes
+
Originating with the Romani of Old-Near-Ancient Europa, Wrathrunes are a magic ward against snakes, serpents, basilisks, mothers-in-law, and, in a most general way, things that coil and loose. Part of the ward had from its earliest inception, of course, a particularly nomadic focus on loosing. The magic was thoroughly effective, particularly against distant cousins named Danior, Django, Maloney, Kennick, and Jim-bo.
+
While the materials used for Wrathrunes have varied over the years, their shape has remained remarkably unchanged, appearing always like a doily.
+
Before the destruction of The Last Virtual Stone the doilies of the Wrathrune were made often of the agate. The agate had largely removed itself to the virtual by then, for understandable reasons, and it has since been virtually mined to near-extinction. It was indeed a most magnificent destruction (and possibly extinction)—perhaps The Very Best.
+
Prior to and since the aforementioned probable extinction of the agate, Wrathrunes have been primarily composed of juniper, twigs of Elder, root of raspberry, or shark teeth soaked in wine. Contraveneno was used up until the rise of SRMD, as the rise of Science (and all things “science”) tend to bring with them “rigorous” “studies” of things fixated on the material. Toxicity rose as SRMD increased and soon enough California was aware that it caused cancer.
+
Since the Happenstancening, Wrathrunes have migrated. No longer are they the conjuring/creation/delicate-lacy-work of humans only. Once upon a time (we are told, all of us, each one, as though uncannily, as though as waketime stories) the words of Cathyr Van Sacrilege: “the hubris of humanity thinking we could bind the Strictures was not in thinking our technology would hold but rather our fickle and corrupt nature” — and this, on repeat, for hours. (It was the sound—nay, the heartbeat—of our nights, all of us, each one.) They fly north for the summer, Wrathrunes do, since then, and their flight is terrible. The only ones to remain are the ashen ones, the juniper ones, usually. It was, needless to say, the very corruption of human nature which caused the Strictures to fail. There was no other reason. None. Zippo. There could be no other. How else was it that agate went near-extinct?
+
+
Lo! I must tell you this, not as a scholar or a sub-sub-librarian, nor even as a repentant sub-ambibeliever, but as Carver Goodmann himself: the Wrathrunes must be permitted to migrate. The world—the Orders, all that is, the Strictures, everything, 42—are in a time of great…stress. We must permit the Wrathrunes to migrate. We must. Now is no longer the age of the hubris of humanity. Stuff it all for a lack. It is the age of the Hubris of the Happe and the Sequitor. Perhaps an Affirmator may arrive, and soon, and our technology can be wholly poo-pooed and we can say again, as we once did: þæt wæs god cyning.
+Goodnight, America.
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Zetta Computing
+
Wake up sheeple! Another message encoded onto the back of a SUreal box from the
+underground resistance and I found if you take its puzzle and solve it incorrectly you are able to derive the exact financial records of Strictures United leaving one with the question the burning question that sears the back of your mind until it is raw with processing and that question is how exactly did Strictures United manage to make precisely no money at the time where they have completely dominated all known markets?
+
The answer is so simple only the most blind could not realize it and that is that clearly and obviously Strictures United is investing ungodly sums of capital into their server farms to finish their nefarious plot to mine all of us which implies therefore that their researchers that they have caged away must have made a breakthrough and gone beyond their Yotta Computing paradigm (which incidentally was what caused this whole catastrophe in the first place*) to their final computer stage and that means that soon the machines will be INSIDE our heads which is why I urge everyone to stop using their names online because that is exactly precisely how they get you!
+
REDACTED
+
*: See the fact that a ctrl-F on Stricture's so-called "apology" for 'Y' yields 43 results which is the same amount of years they claim to have taken place since the disaster! This is no coincidence and perhaps you may respond that five of those Ys are part of the page itself and not part of the article. Well how many letters are in 'Yotta' may I ask!
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Formatting
+
Lexipython provides support for a limited amount of Markdown-esque formatting.
+
+# Player: PN
+# Turn: 1
+# Title: Example page
+
+This is an example page.
+Some words are //italicized//,
+and some words are **bolded**.
+All of these sentences are part of the same paragraph.
+
+This is a new paragraph.\\
+Unlike the last paragraph, this line will be after a line break within the paragraph.
+
+This is an [[example citation|Phantom page]]. You can also cite a [[phantom page]] with just the title.
+
+~Dr. X. Amplepage
+
+
Each turn, fill out the header with your player information, the current turn, and the title of your entry. The Player field can be anything as long as it's the same for all articles you write (even when they're by different characters). Using your initials is recommended.
+
Two line breaks begins a new paragraph. A single line break does nothing, unless the line is ended by a double backslash (\\).
+
Text bounded by ** will be bolded: **bold** produces bold. Text bounded by // will be italicized: //italics// produces italics.
+
To cite another Lexicon entry, use double brackets. Text in double brackets will cite and link to the entry of the same name: [[Example page]] produces Example page. Text in double brackets split with a | will alias the link as the left text and link to the entry with the name of the right text: [[this text|Example page]] produces this text. You must be precise in the entry title you cite to. Citations to "Example" vs. "The Example" will point to different entries and create different phantoms, and your GM will probably have to clean up after you.
+
Beginning a paragraph with ~ will right-align it and place a horizontal line above it. Use this for signing your entry with your scholar's name.
+
+
\ No newline at end of file
diff --git a/src/page/lexicon/centralium/lexicon.cfg b/src/page/lexicon/centralium/lexicon.cfg
new file mode 100644
index 0000000..babcce1
--- /dev/null
+++ b/src/page/lexicon/centralium/lexicon.cfg
@@ -0,0 +1,62 @@
+# LEXIPYTHON CONFIG FILE
+#
+# This file defines the configuration values for an instance of Lexipython.
+# Configuration values are written as:
+>>>CONFIG_NAME>>>
+value
+<<>>LEXICON_TITLE>>>
+Lexicon Centralium
+<<>>LOGO_FILENAME>>>
+ari-matti-toivonen-chromatic-storm.jpg
+<<>>PROMPT>>>
+You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+<<>>SESSION_PAGE>>>
+
Turn 1: Due Wednesday, Aug 8
+
Send completed entries in a reply in the email thread. Remember not to "reply all".
You are the survivors of the Happenstancening, trying to piece together how it was that the Seven Strictures failed the Central Order.
+
+
+
Rules
+
+
At the beginning of the game, you will be provided with a topic statement that sets the tone for the game. Use it for inspiration and a stepping-stone into shaping the world of the Lexicon.
+
Each round, you will be assigned an index, a grouping of letters. Your entry must alphabetize under that index.
+
Each index has a number of open slots equal to the number of players, which are taken up by article titles when an article is written in that index or a citation is made to an unwritten article, or phantom. If there are no open slots in your index, you must write the article for a phantom in that index.
+
"The" and "A" aren't counted in indexing.
+
Once you've picked an article title, write your article on that subject.
+
There are no hard and fast rules about style. Try to sound like an encyclopedia entry or the overview section at the top of a wiki article.
+
You must respect and not contradict any factual content of any posted articles. You may introduce new facts that place things in a new light, provide alternative interpretations, or flesh out unexplained details in unexpected ways; but you must not contradict what has been previously established as fact.
+
Aim for around 200-300 words. Going over is okay, but be reasonable.
+
Your article must cite other articles in the Lexicon. Sometimes these citations will be to phantoms, articles that have not been written yet.
+
On the first turn, your article must cite exactly two phantom articles.
+
On subsequent turns, your article must cite exactly two phantom articles, either already-cited phantoms or new ones. Your article must also cite at least one written article.
+
On the penultimate turn, you must cite exactly one phantom article and at least two written articles.
+
On the final turn, you must cite at least three written articles.
+
You may not cite an entry you wrote. You may cite phantoms you have cited before.
+
Once you cite a phantom, you cannot choose to write it if you write an article for that index later.
+
+
Ersatz Scrivener. In the course of the game, it may come to pass that a scholar is assigned an index in which no slots are available to them, because they have cited all the available phantoms in their previous articles. When this happens, the player instead writes their article as Ersatz Scrivener, radical skeptic. Ersatz does not believe in the existence of whatever he is writing about, no matter how obvious it seems to others or how central it is in the developing history of the world. All references, testimony, etc. with regard to its existence are tragic delusion at best or malicious lies at worst. Unlike the other scholars, Ersatz does not treat the research of his peers as fact, because he does not believe he has peers. Players writing articles as Ersatz are encouraged to name and shame the work of the misguided amateurs collaborating with him.